As I am prone to I was conversing with Christ in the shower about the nature of salvation. In the course of our discussion I learnt something very interesting about the how's of election. I am writing this from my place of work and thus its not likely to be polished or eloquent until I brush it up at home, yet I wish to share with my readers what it is I realised as we chatted because I think it could be helpful to you all.

It began because I was thinking of material I wanted to compose for my new website which I plan to launch before too long at least. I was asking myself the question 'why should anyone listen to me, a sinner?' So Our Blessed Lord and I began a short conversation about sin and how it impacts upon our ultimate end. The results of that dialogue were most fruitful.

It is in the realisation of one's sinfulness that the necessary tools for salvation are given and they cannot be given otherwise. Because of this God has throughout history allowed people to sin e.g. St Paul who in Romans and 2 Corinthians illustrates this clearly.

Paul speaks about what he wills not doing him doing and in the 2nd Corinthian letter he refers to a thorn that was put in his flesh to prevent him from becoming prideful so that he might see God's grace alone as sufficient. Much of the time God allows his children to fall into sin, even grave sin, for their edification and humiliation because of His extraordinary love for them.

Take the example of the Pharisee and the Tax Collector at prayer. The Pharisee is the example of the child God has more or less lost. He is an outstanding Jew for the most part, law abiding, devoted to daily prayer, and keeps himself pure of sinners. However, he does not accept his own sinfulness in contrast to the Tax Collector. As a result God cannot save him because in him there is no room for God to operate. In the Pharisees eyes he has all bases covered, he is self-sufficient not grace sufficient.

Contrast this with the example of the Tax Collector. He is a terrible Jew as the Pharisee outlines. The precepts of the law are lost upon him, indeed he may not even know them very well and yet Our Blessed Lord says this man goes home at peace with God. His righteousness exceeds that of the scribes and Pharisees not because of His observance but because of his repentance. This is the key to the Lord's words to St Paul (and earlier today to me).

In repentance there is room, much room for grace. Repentance allows for dependence, indeed demands it. The sinner can see that He needs God for everything especially His life (both natural and supernatural), which is the basis of what God requires from all human beings in order to begin with us what he really wants: A relationship. Thinking independently now I think this can partly explain the effect of Original Sin upon us.

If men were allowed to be born in the state of Adam then they would make the mistake of Adam. Because being without sin men would naturally succumb to their pride and decide they knew right from wrong and whether or not they needed God. They would believe the serpent and think they could be 'like God'. However, our concupiscence which continues even after we have received the sacraments circumvents such a notion taking hold in our souls. We can see from our daily conduct that we are not like God and could never be so we never covet or begrudge God his position. We never imagine that we could truly be self-sufficient and our hearts are restless lest they rest with God.

This is why throughout history the greatest of saints have always claimed to be the greatest of sinners. I cannot remember reading the work of any saint who seemed completely ignorant to their own sinful condition. On the contrary all the saints I've read seemed (at least to me at the time I read them) to be over exaggerating their sins. I was always perplexed by St Teresa of Avila's determined assertions that she was a grave sin, a maleoderous worm, and simply wicked. Yet she hammers home this point time after time refusing to give the notion that she might actually be good any quarter. She simply says frankly that whatever good she does it is attributable to God's action within her. I can think of many other saints whose words mirror hers and prior today I thought it might simply be hyper humility but now I see its something more profound.

That self-knowledge as St Teresa calls it in the 'Interior Castle' is the stepping stone to something else entirely. To a new world, a new existence, a new breath of life. It allows the grace of infused contemplation to take root in the soul, it lets the transforming union of the person takes place, it purges and cleanses, illuminates and unifies the soul to God. It perfects!

God allows those who are like Adam to be scared with the effects of Adam's sin and the things we do not wish to do thus we keep doing them. Because if God didn't do these things we would turn our backs on him in deluded self-sufficiency, God lets us continue wallowing in the waste and muck of our iniquity. However, for those who better Adam who can see that they are so far from sinlessness that the very notion is outrageously stupid. In other words, to those who can be trusted to be mindful of God even after he removes temptation from them, he does. In these souls he effects what St Catherine of Siena calls 'spiritual marriage'. There is in these souls, to stray into the unfamiliar territory of Oriental mystical language, a transfiguration of the person to the extent that sin no longer has any meaning for them. That sin no longer has any power over them. God brings them to a place from which there is no going back.

This is why the Jesus prayer is such a powerful prayer. It does not matter how many times you say the words 'Lord Jesus Christ, son of God, have mercy upon me a sinner', nor how regularly, nor how often and the purpose is not to purify the mind to think of nothing but prayer. The purpose of reciting the Jesus prayer as St Teresa of Avila says in the first mansion of the Interior Castle, though she knew nothing of the Eastern tradition of mysticism, is because against something black a white thing always looks whiter. Or as she explains, to think about God always makes us more concious of what we ourselves are. The secret of the Jesus prayer is to get to the heart of the words, the contrast between the beauty of the Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of God, and the need that the filthy disgusting sinner like myself has for His Mercy. For this reason, in the humble, self-knowing person, only one recitation is enough.

This is where the lines between East and West blur and we see that we're actually not so different. Through use of Western means, methods and mystical textbooks (and a little help from my friend—don't worry Jesus I haven't forgotten it was you to whom I was speaking) I believe have gotten to the core of the Jesus prayer without ever touching the Philokalia. We in the West might be more sensual, Easterners more likely to be transcendental, we may focus more on the humanity of Christ, you on his divinity, we may use more imaginative methods of mental prayer, and you more simple means that shun use of the imagination, but behind the veils and cloaks we have the same goal. The principal the Greeks brought to the Council of Florence still holds “the saints cannot disagree” and they do not if one dares only to scratch the surface.

Alas I have a reason why the Lord deigns to speak to me knowing that I am a sinner and will keep on sinning. Its Mercy not sacrifice that He wills, a relationship not robots. If He dealt with us according to iniquity who could stand asks the Psalmist? God wills not the destruction of the sinner but that he acknowledge His sin and repent. In the end man will be judged not on how well he kept the law but in what spirit he observed it and in what spirit he repented when he broke it.