John and Bob,



Thanks to both of you!

I think there is a third situation, which is what I think one of my daughters is suffering from: anxiety. There is a psychological diagnosis, but, also another, spiritual one also. I think my daughter is a case of the second phenomenon John mentions above: the difference is that she is not "consciously turning away", some trauma has "fused" or "frozen" her mind/heart so that she only "remembers" the pain at the moment of trial, and so "fails" consistently given the same challenge. I believe no amount of "treatment" can really help here; only Love can thaw the knot in her mind/heart. She told me yesterday that she hasn't had a good "cry" in years; I'm praying for God's grace to melt her heart, so she can truly be able to love him back. I think she has become afraid to love (God, parents, friends), to become vulnerable and be hurt again. Somehow, and against all the actual facts, she sees herself as worthless. Is this Satan's doing?

Michael

P.S. I would suggest she read Mother Teresa's book, except that if I do, it will have "Dad-cooties", and not be read.

Hmmm... I will have to think on Bob's latest post and Michael's insight.

-- John

Bob,

Not just faith, but a solid spiritual grounding as well. It's hard for me to disregard the standards set by how some see faith through Sola Fide.

Where I've seen suicide or its attempts, it is a total act of despair. That darkness would seem to be more of a selfish darkness, that one feels abandoned by everybody. If that person comes from the faith, I can see where you are going if that feeling of abandonment includes thoughts such as, "Even You abandon me, my Lord?" That could lead to the shift of weights that imbalance a person's temper.

But when I've seen it, sometimes the person who is suicidal fails to see, or acknowledge, that people care. Other times they build an immense hatred of themselves. They push everybody away and then despair that nobody is around or they focus on a past hurt or mistake they cannot change. Someone in that position can also push God away, and if this is done willfully that would seem an act of unfaith (however you want to put it).

I have only read articles and good reviews of Mother Teresa's book, so I may change my mind when I read the work; but Mother Teresa's darkness seems a bit different than the darkness that can lead to despair. I think it is a difference of occasion. In the beautiful images from Isaiah, there is a scene where he is purified before he comes into the presence of God; even the seraphim cover their faces before the Lord. It would make sense that her darkness was as deep as it was because of the intimacy of her visions, and because she was for a time enveloped in the presence of Christ. She was given a mission and this intimacy was cut off. That darkness would be far darker because of the spiritual height she was brought. I like the image C.S. Lewis uses in The Great Divorce: that our world is but a shadowland when compared to the reality of heaven, and that man is but a shadow of what he will be in the new creation. Is it possible to touch the spiritual heights and not be blinded into darkness? I am under the impression that St. John of the Cross taught that at the peak of Mt. Carmael, at the peak of spiritual maturation, the body cannot hold back the soul from unity with God.

Is this darkness of the soul why God hid his face from Moses who, after being in His intimacy and seeing His back, had shone with glory? I can't imagine that a suicidal darkness would be as dark as the dark night of the soul; faith, hope, and love allow the latter to bear it. Would someone without faith be so graced as to be lifted to spiritual heights for a moment, or a series of moments, to then live the rest of their lives in apprehension of being in the eternal presence of God?

Terry

I think the darkness is the same. The difference is in how people respond to it. Some seek the light of God, but others flee the light of God.

-- John

No one may see God, and live. I believe Mother Teresa's pain was due to how "almost" she actually did see God (even in others). This purified her; she knew that through faith, accepted it for the medicine it was, and loved it -- no despair, just fidelity.

But the perception of the darkness wouldn't be the same. And that could make a difference.

Agreed. That, I think, is entirely the point; and it is the basis from which people choose to react to it.

-- John