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#297831 - 08/20/08 09:37 PM Orthodoxy and Eternal Nature of Marriage
R Manner Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 05/24/08
Posts: 4
Loc: Illinois
I have heard several times that Orthodoxy considers a marriage between man and woman as lasting beyond death in same way and being eternal.

I am wondering if someone can explain to me what is meant by that.

Robert

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#297837 - 08/20/08 10:13 PM Re: Orthodoxy and Eternal Nature of Marriage [Re: R Manner]
Elizabeth Maria Offline
Orthodox Christian
Member

Registered: 12/20/03
Posts: 1207
Loc: California
Marriage in Orthodoxy has an eternal characteristic because love endures.

However the physical aspect of making love and bearing children will not be part of heaven. Now maybe the Mormons and Muslims will take issue here. smile

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#297844 - 08/20/08 11:40 PM Re: Orthodoxy and Eternal Nature of Marriage [Re: Elizabeth Maria]
Laka Ya Rabb Offline
Member

Registered: 10/11/05
Posts: 447
Loc: Phoenix
This iw exactly what the Melkite Church teaches. Even some Roman Catholics believe this.

The bonds of the Holy Mysteries are not severed by death. Rather, like all things, they will be transformed. So, just as our physical bodies are transformed by the Resurrection, so too will our marital bond be transformed. Remember, marriage has as it's aim to bring each other to prefection so as to reach Heaven. We are called to live deification and thw work of theosis BY our Marriage.

The Mystery of Holy Crowing is much more than just bearing and rearing children. I invite everyone to acutally read the text for the celebration of this Holy Mystery and see for themselves.

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#297849 - 08/21/08 01:07 AM Re: Orthodoxy and Eternal Nature of Marriage [Re: Laka Ya Rabb]
asianpilgrim Offline
Member

Registered: 05/10/07
Posts: 578
Loc: Philippines
Have there been attempts by Eastern theologians to compare and contrast (or present as complementary) the Latin and Eastern doctrines of marriage?

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#297854 - 08/21/08 02:14 AM Re: Orthodoxy and Eternal Nature of Marriage [Re: asianpilgrim]
Serge Keleher Offline
Member

Registered: 06/22/06
Posts: 4041
Loc: Dublin
Quote:
The Mystery of Holy Crowing?


That does sound mysterious - although there is an Irish folk notion that ever since the Resurrection the roosters are announcing "Mac na hOige Slan!"

To get serious, I suggest Father John Meyendorff's book on matrimony, available from SVS press. Meanwhile, one should notice that the canonical prohibition on major clerics attempting a second marriage, and the Church's clear disapproval of second marriages (allowed for lay people only as an act of ekonomia) teaches us something.

Fr. Serge

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#297857 - 08/21/08 02:56 AM Re: Orthodoxy and Eternal Nature of Marriage [Re: Serge Keleher]
Elizabeth Maria Offline
Orthodox Christian
Member

Registered: 12/20/03
Posts: 1207
Loc: California
Originally Posted By: Serge Keleher
Quote:
The Mystery of Holy Crowing?


That does sound mysterious - although there is an Irish folk notion that ever since the Resurrection the roosters are announcing "Mac na hOige Slan!"

To get serious, I suggest Father John Meyendorff's book on matrimony, available from SVS press. Meanwhile, one should notice that the canonical prohibition on major clerics attempting a second marriage, and the Church's clear disapproval of second marriages (allowed for lay people only as an act of ekonomia) teaches us something.

Fr. Serge


Oh, that misspelling again. Good catch, Father.
And the Holy Rooster call. smile

We have a huge flock of crows here in Los Angeles.
If we park our cars underneath the telephone lines where they roost, our car turns white and purple. They love berries.

It is getting late. In fact, it is 5 minutes to midnight.

That reminds me when my son was chrismated, I accidentally said that he was cremated, and then wondered why people looked so horrified.


Edited by Elizabeth Maria (08/21/08 02:59 AM)

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#297859 - 08/21/08 04:45 AM Re: Orthodoxy and Eternal Nature of Marriage [Re: Elizabeth Maria]
Alice Moderator Offline
Moderator
Member

Registered: 01/12/03
Posts: 6942
Loc: New York
Quote:
That reminds me when my son was chrismated, I accidentally said that he was cremated, and then wondered why people looked so horrified.



eek

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#297860 - 08/21/08 05:20 AM Re: Orthodoxy and Eternal Nature of Marriage [Re: Alice]
DewiMelkite Online   content
Member

Registered: 06/28/08
Posts: 104
Loc: Orange County, Ca
The day of my chrismation a non christian friend of mine called to enquire what time my "crucifixion" was..... yikes.

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#297864 - 08/21/08 06:31 AM Re: Orthodoxy and Eternal Nature of Marriage [Re: DewiMelkite]
Alice Moderator Offline
Moderator
Member

Registered: 01/12/03
Posts: 6942
Loc: New York
Originally Posted By: DewiMelkite
The day of my chrismation a non christian friend of mine called to enquire what time my "crucifixion" was..... yikes.


DOUBLE eek eek !!

(seems like too many Americans are following the 'Archie Bunker' school of vocabulary words these days!..
Those who were old enough to walk and talk in the 1970's will know what I am alluding to *WINK*)

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#297896 - 08/21/08 06:12 PM Re: Orthodoxy and Eternal Nature of Marriage [Re: Alice]
Stephanos I Offline
Member

Registered: 02/03/02
Posts: 1995
Loc: West Coast
Alice, either I am too young (which I doubt) or too slow to get what you are alluding to. smile
Stephanos I


Edited by Stephanos I (08/21/08 06:12 PM)

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#297907 - 08/21/08 11:51 PM Re: Orthodoxy and Eternal Nature of Marriage [Re: Stephanos I]
Alice Moderator Offline
Moderator
Member

Registered: 01/12/03
Posts: 6942
Loc: New York
When Archie Bunker tried using words that were a bit larger, he always messed them up and ended up using another word which sounded alike but whose meaning had absolutely no bearing or semblance of sense to the context of his sentence...for instance, he could have easily said the above two posts, ie: 'cremated' instead of 'chrismated'.

Hope this explains it!

In Christ,
Alice

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#297908 - 08/22/08 12:00 AM Re: Orthodoxy and Eternal Nature of Marriage [Re: Alice]
Fr David Straut Offline
Member

Registered: 07/13/07
Posts: 430
Loc: New Jersey, United States
Originally Posted By: Alice
When Archie Bunker tried using words that were a bit larger, he always messed them up and ended up using another word which sounded alike but whose meaning had absolutely no bearing or semblance of sense to the context of his sentence...for instance, he could have easily said the above two posts, ie: 'cremated' instead of 'chrismated'.

Hope this explains it!

In Christ,
Alice

I always remember Archie Bunker when someone mentions the Gynecologist. Archie would always call these physicians 'Groinacologists.' blush

Fr David Straut

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#297913 - 08/22/08 02:51 AM Re: Orthodoxy and Eternal Nature of Marriage [Re: Alice]
Elizabeth Maria Offline
Orthodox Christian
Member

Registered: 12/20/03
Posts: 1207
Loc: California
Dear Alice,

I have not been the only one to use "cremated" instead of "Chrismated." One of my fellow choir members excitedly told us that her new son-in-law had just been cremated, and I knew that she also had pulled a slip of the tongue. She turned red in the face, and said, "I should have known better, but in our Greek family we rarely have Chrismations, because our babies are baptized a few months after their birth, and of course the baby is chrismated, but we refer to it as a baptism."

Originally Posted By: Alice
When Archie Bunker tried using words that were a bit larger, he always messed them up and ended up using another word which sounded alike but whose meaning had absolutely no bearing or semblance of sense to the context of his sentence...for instance, he could have easily said the above two posts, ie: 'cremated' instead of 'chrismated'.

Hope this explains it!

In Christ,
Alice


Edited by Elizabeth Maria (08/22/08 02:55 AM)

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#297998 - 08/23/08 02:24 PM Re: Orthodoxy and Eternal Nature of Marriage [Re: Elizabeth Maria]
Laka Ya Rabb Offline
Member

Registered: 10/11/05
Posts: 447
Loc: Phoenix
Father Serge,

My wife and I were crowed. Were we supposed to be Crowned?

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#298008 - 08/23/08 05:55 PM Re: Orthodoxy and Eternal Nature of Marriage [Re: Serge Keleher]
Penthaetria Offline
Member

Registered: 09/16/04
Posts: 416
Loc: Tucson area
Back to the original topic ... wink

A sweet picture of my marriage --

One of us would say to the other: I love you.
The other would reply: Always and forever.
Unto ages of ages.
Amen!


This little exchange now extends to the next generation, having become part of my goodnight ritual with my boys.

Having thus affirmed my belief in the eternal nature of love and marriage, my absolute knowledge that death does not sever the bond between my husband and me ... I really struggle with (quoting Fr. Serge) "the Church's clear disapproval of second marriages (allowed for lay people only as an act of ekonomia)."

It always felt harsh to me, and it seems doubly harsh to me now that I am widowed. I ask for some further understanding of this disapproval.

We acknowledge that it is not good to be alone, that part of the human condition is a strong need to have a partner in life (and yes, in the bedroom). By marrying, I acknowledged that I am not among those to whom the gift of joyful celibacy has been given. Yet my husband died when I was only 43 and I can expect to live another 40 years. The Church would prefer that I live alone for those 40 years.

We acknowledge that children need two parents, a mother and a father. While my children -- now ages 6 and 10 -- know that their father continues to love them and watch over them and pray for them ... they need the physical presence of a loving man in their daily lives. In today's loose-knit society, even attentive uncles, godparents, or family friends are a poor substitute. (Have you ever tried to teach a boy to tie a half-Windsor, using only illustrations found on the internet?!) Yet the church would prefer that I not bring a faithful, loving role model and guide into my household.

We acknowledge that it is best for children to have one parent in the home full time. Scripture is very clear in making the care of widows and orphans the duty of the entire society. On the small village and town level, that works reasonably well, but it falls apart in an urban society. I have struggled financially because of my decision to continue to stay home and care for my boys in the wake of their father's death. Yet the church would prefer that I not remarry, not bring much-needed income into the house.

I totally understand the theological and sacramental nature of marriage. Would one of our clergy please explain to me the Church's opposition to a second marriage from a pastoral standpoint? I don't want you to say that the Church would allow me to remarry (should the right man materialize on my doorstep); I know that. I want to understand why the Church's initial response is disapproval, why the Church's blessing comes only unwillingly and in exigent circumstances of "ekonomia."

-- Alicia, who is not trying to be difficult

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#298165 - 08/25/08 07:31 PM Re: Orthodoxy and Eternal Nature of Marriage [Re: Penthaetria]
Athanasius The L Offline
AthanasiusTheLesser
Member

Registered: 06/29/06
Posts: 768
Loc: Houston, TX
No takers on Alicia's request? I'm also interested in a response to the questions she has posed.

Ryan

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#298232 - 08/26/08 03:48 PM Re: Orthodoxy and Eternal Nature of Marriage [Re: Athanasius The L]
Alice Moderator Offline
Moderator
Member

Registered: 01/12/03
Posts: 6942
Loc: New York
Dear Alicia,

I did a google search and came up with this response by an Orthodox priest to a different question--though it does include the answers to your questions:

Quote:
This is why Christ forbids divorce, saying: "What God has joined together, let not man put asunder" (Matt. 19:1-9; Mark 10:2-12). In the Orthodox understanding "divorce" is not a legal procedure, but that "putting asunder" of the relationship, a reality which the legal process merely recognizes. In this sense a husband or wife begins "divorce proceedings" whenever he or she does something to undermine their union in love, whether through infidelity, lying, refusing to listen, or just holding a grudge. Without repentance and reconciliation these fissures will expand into insurmountable breaches, and the spouses will go their separate ways. At this stage the Church with sorrow recognizes that the marriage has failed and that God's creation has been dissolved. It reluctantly accepts this reality, calling the two broken people to repentance. Divorced persons must confess and be absolved before being readmitted to the sacraments of the Church, and they are often given a penance as spiritual medicine.

Remarriage is offered o­nly as a condescension to human weakness. In Orthodox teaching, this is true not o­nly for divorcees but also for widows and widowers. God's perfect will is that men and women marry o­nly o­nce, creating a spiritual bond that cannot be dissolved even by death. Remarriage is therefore always in some degree a departure from the will of God—a sin. It may be a very great sin, as when a man divorces his wife to marry his mistress; it may be a very understandable result of human weakness, as when a young widow remarries for companionship and help in raising her children. In either case, the bishop may allow a second marriage and, rarely, a third marriage (but never a fourth) as the lesser of evils, in order to preserve members of his flock from a greater falling away from God. This should be done prayerfully, in hope that God in His mercy will bring good from this leniency.

The Orthodox service of a second marriage is penitential in character. It includes prayers that ask God to forgive our sin, to meet us in our weakness and help us in the path of repentance. Christians should approach remarriage being humbly mindful of their weakness, and truly desiring God's grace and a second chance. If they do so and persevere in their desire to be close to God, then I think we can be confident that God will mercifully fill their new marriage with His grace and continue to lead them o­n the path of repentance toward His promised salvation.


http://www.stnicholaspunchbowl.org.au/mo...icle&sid=36

My humble suggestion to you is that you not take this to mean more than it intends--and that you not dwell on it. I pray to St. Xenia of Petersburg that she will find you someone to help you raise your boys and be a loving companion...

One of the miracles we know of her lifetime is that she commanded a friend of hers to go to a certain place quickly--her friends knew that her eccentric holiness was not to be questioned, so her friend did as St. Xenia said. At that place there was a funeral procession, so, as custom had it, her mother (who was accompanying her) and she, found themselves joining it.

At the gravesite they saw a young grieving doctor, the husband of the deceased. Their kind hearts felt great sympathy for him and they were compelled to try to console him. The widower was so touched by their spiritual generosity that eventually he married the girl.

This compassion and concern which the holy St. Xenia had for her unmarried friend and for the widower has made her a patron saint for finding a spouse. Her action blessed the remarriage of the widower, so you see that this is not something which the church actually frowns upon.

I hope this helped...

Your sister in Christ,
Alice


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#298248 - 08/26/08 09:39 PM Re: Orthodoxy and Eternal Nature of Marriage [Re: Alice]
Penthaetria Offline
Member

Registered: 09/16/04
Posts: 416
Loc: Tucson area
Thank you very much for this, Alice; and thank you, Ryan, for bumping my request.

Your addendum to the quote has made me cry; so I'll have to think and pray a bit before I write more.

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