Dear Catholic Brethren in Christ: I sent this to all my friends and it may apply to some of you on this forum as well:

I hope you have a couple minutes to read this. As most of you know I've been on a spiritual journey for sometime. I have heard it said, "The power to define is the power to control." This is how I would define (or describe) my journey -very briefly. Raised Protestant (Fundamentalist Christian) I was converted to historic Christianity. This conversion came through the Church of Rome. But, concurrently, I also discovered the Eastern Orthodox Church and began studying and loving both historic Churches. I spent 8 of the next 15 years studying, worshipping and communing with the Latin Church while studying about the East. Eventually I was drawn to the Eastern Church and specifically the Armenian Catholic Church. For many reasons (which I won't go into), my journey did not stop there but finally landed me in the Church of my Fathers, the Armenian Orthodox Church. I want you all to know that the Armenian Orthodox Church enjoys the closest of relations of perhaps any other Orthodox Church with the Church of Rome. I can give examples if interested but, for the sake of brevity, I'll get to the point.
In this process and journey, my words and actions have not always reflected the closeness which our two historic and ancient Churches share. Today, I was reflecting on how much I appreciate the Latin Church and specifically the Great Church of Rome (as our Armenian Liturgical Calendar refers to her). I want to apologize to each of you individually and all of you collectively for anywhere in my journey that I have spoke, written or acted in such a way as to cast disrespect for your Great Mother Church. I'd like to believe that my motives have always been the pursuit of truth but "God judges." More likely it has been the result of my foolishness and pride. I just want to state publicly that I'm sorry if I have ever done this in your hearing. I pledge to do my best never to do this again. I am going to go through my Armenian Orthodox Church website an ensure there is nothing disrespectful anywhere on it towards Rome or Latin Church theology. I would like to regain the closeness I had with any and all of you that may have been damaged as a result of my actions and words. Therefore, I am asking your forgiveness. I understand if you are not ready to offer that forgiveness and I'm willing to wait for it. I understand this may never come. If so, then lets at least pray for each other. I promise to do this for you.
To close I'd like to mention how I pray you some day consider me. I have read that Orthodox Saints are recognized as saints by the Catholic Church as long as they never attacked the Pope or Catholic teaching. The Armenian Saint Gregory of Narek is one example that this is true (see the Catechism of the Catholic Church #2678). Although St. Gregory was "post-schism" (meaning he belonged to an Orthodox Church after the split came about with Rome) he is still acknowledged by Rome as a Saint. This is the way I pray you some day consider me: not as a Saint, but rather as a faithful Orthodox Christian and deacon who has no animosity whatsoever for the Church of Rome; but rather as one who has great love, respect and veneration for the Church of Rome and her great moral leadership in a world crumbling away with sin. Please know that I spend a good amount of time every week defending Catholic teaching to Protestants and some Orthodox.
I am married to a Catholic. I want my kids to be close to Catholics. I work for the Archdiocese of Detroit (at Sacred Heart Major Seminary). I may even attend classes at a Catholic Seminary. So you may occasionally see me around somewhere in the Archdiocese, attending conferences and even worshipping with my brethren of "the other lung of the Church" (following H.H. Pope John Paul II's metaphor on the Eastern and Western Churches as two lungs of the same Church). If and when you see me, I want you to at least know that this is what is in my heart. Thanks for reading this and please feel free to write me and offer your forgiveness. It will be spiritually therapeutic for me to say the least.

Your brother trusting in the Light of Christ Jesus,
Deacon Lazarus (formerly known as William or Bill)

Lazarus Der-Ghazarian, Sub-Deacon,
Armenian Orthodox Church, Eastern Diocese USA
"Light of Christ" Website: www.geocities.com/derghazar/

Dear Deacon Lazarus,

I remember you simply by your moniker of 'Ghazar'

Over the years that I have been here, I have found that the thoughts (though never rude or uncharitable) and attitudes which you are seeking forgiveness for were also the thoughts and attitudes of many posters who were on a spiritual journey--that of passionate opinion. It seems to come with the territory of that journey!

For instance: One of our respected posters in the past years since you left was charitable and ecumenical when Latin Catholic looking towards the East, then briefly anti-ecumenical and a bit over passionate against Catholicism upon contemplating Orthodoxy, then upon becoming Orthodox he was back to being charitable and ecumenical, and has just written to me privately to let me know that he left Orthodoxy to go back to the Catholic Church (Latin rite), was grateful for the approach to spirituality he learned in Orthodoxy, and is now preparing to become a Catholic priest!

In any case, it takes a big man to ask for forgiveness, and be assured that, although I cannot speak for anyone else, and although I am not Catholic, I think I remember you getting politely annoyed with me once (*wink*), so, I most certainly forgive you!

Be well,
and through your post, I hope that we will all remember the words of the late (Roman Catholic) Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen--especially when we are feeling passionate about something!

Politeness is charity, charity is love, and love is God!

May our Lord Christ bless us all with His love, in order to better love and respect each other,
Alice

Deacon Lazarus,

You have never offended me, so there is nothing to forgive!

Eric

Deacon Lazarus:

Christ is in our midst!! He is and always will be!!

We all go through a process like you describe on our spiritual journey when we take the Gospel seriously. We have those moments when we can be sharp and seem harsh to others. I attribute that to what I call "the zeal of being a neophyte," whether that be a convert or someone with a new commitment to the Faith in his own Church. What that really is, though is a false zeal that sees everything in such black and white terms that we forget the the Holy Spirit can work in the gray areas as well as in the clear-cut. This false zeal sees those who are different as those needing to be made into our image and likenes rather than allowing them to be the image and likeness of God that they already are. And this false zeal does not allow for the fact that the Holy Spirit has been working in other places and with other people successfully even though it is outside the visible reaches of our own particular community.

That being said, I also believe that this is part of the way the Lord purifies us for that life of His to be lived in the Kingdom. He works to wear the rough, sharp edges off so that our charity may shine like a polished diamond. And the Lord only knows how much polishing He must do when one becomes a neophyte several times in his pilgrimage.

Be at peace. There are many here who have done the same thing. And I place myself at the head of the line and among the worst offenders over the course of my lifetime. Perhaps it would be good to step back and understand that by being this way you can never be accused of being the "lukewarm" that the Lord says He will "vomit out of My Mouth." Better to be on fire and allow time, prayer, and lived experience, together with the grace of God, mellow you on your pilgrimage. Then you'll finally be the type of deep vintage that He wants for His work wherever He places you.

In Christ,

BOB

Subdeacon Lazarus, my dear friend and brother,

In all the years that I have known you here, read your posts, and chatted with you by PM, I have never - even remotely - seen you write uncharitably or without love of anyone or of any Church. When I read the title of your thread Thursday evening, I was mystified (and frustrated, because a system glitch prevented me from accessing it - I still am able to access it only through a roundabout means), being unable to imagine what wrong you might need to right. As I remarked to another member of the Admin/Mod staff at the time, you have always been among the most charitable, even-tempered, and non-polemic of posters.

I remember your spiritual journey well, including the period that you, Valerie, and the children spent worshipping with Our Lady of Redemption Melkite parish, your time at St Vartan's, and your eventual transition to St John the Baptist, where you now serve.

When you announced your decision here to transfer to the Armenian Orthodox Church, I am especially mindful of a PM conversation between us regarding the two wonderful on-line resources that you had created - Looys Kreesdosee and The Armenian Catholic Church. (OK, I just found one of our exchanges on the topic - the 2nd oldest PM that I still have - written almost 5 years ago - )



You assured me at the time that you had no intention of dismantling the Armenian Catholic site, despite the transfer. Your decision, which I much applauded then, as now, was based on the fact that there were few English-language web-based resources for Armenian Catholics in the US (still basically true, although the Armenian Catholic Patriarchate now has an excellent bi-lingual site). The loving and ecumenical nature of that decision was in as true a spirit of the close relationship that your Church enjoys with Rome as any could be.

Having read Looys Kreesdosee hundreds of times over these past few years and having recommended both sites to countless persons as prime on-line resources regarding the Armenian Churches, I cannot think of a single writing or link at either which offends the relationship of our Churches. My sincere prayer is that you will avoid any hasty decision to delete or modify any aspect of either site.

My prayers for you, Valerie, and your beautiful family - especially little Thomas. I wish we saw more of you here, I miss your insightful and thoughtful posts, dear friend, but I'm sure that work, family, and your responsibilities at the parish don't leave a lot of spare time. It is my fond hope that the day may come when I get the opportunity to travel to Detroit and meet you in person but, if not, we will someday meet in another place, God willing.

Many years,

Neil

Amen!


Amado

Dear Sub Deacon Ghazaros,

I hope you will note the editing I made in my post so as to clarify the thoughts I was trying to convey by using more exact words...

My apologies if it did not come across, in the first instance, correctly or if it was offensive in any way.

Alice

I have not experienced anything negative from Sub Deacon Ghazaros, whom I embrace as a brother in Christ...

james

If you read my post, you will see that I was not inferring that I did either...however, our brother would not have written the post if he himself did not believe that he was at one time a bit passionate in something. As a moderator I can tell you that many posters have been about one thing or another--some about being Catholic, some about being Orthodox, some about politics, etc., etc. There is no 'forum' rule against that. We are all entitled to feeling strongly about something, as long as we express ourselves charitably...when the subject of Catholic vs. Orthodox comes up, charity doesn't often come out on top. I do believe that our brother was indeed one of the most charitable posters on this delicate subject matter...

So, please, let's not infight, but allow a person to seek forgiveness for something he or she would rather have not said or felt.

We only make it worse for that person when we insist that * they * are the wrong ones in "trying to undo some wrong", because by doing so, might not find the psychological and spiritual closure they are seeking.

For instance--Imagine if your priest did that when you went to confession--even if what you are confessing is something which the priest does not see in you!!

In Christ,
Alice

Alice, my response had no connection to your responses, my humble apology if it appears that way...

Guess watching football, typing, thinking and eating beernuts is too complicated for me...

No problem!

Now just don't do try to multi-task so much in the future!!

Be well, my friend...
Alice

I guess you're in the same boat I am--can't wlak and chew gum at the same time.

BOB

What makes it worse...the beer was left elsewhere

Dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ,

Sorry, but I've had a hard time logging on for the last few days. I just wanted to thank each of you for your kind words, love and forgiveness. I really have enjoyed the privilege of chatting with all of you over the last several years. I pray I will get the chance to do this for many more. May God grant you all many years.

Deacon Lazarus

Dear Friends and Brethren in Christ,

Unfortunately I have tried several times to post a reply to all of your generous, understanding and merciful replies and they have all failed and been lost. I was shocked to see today that my last attempt still was not posted. I just want you all to know that I really appreciated each one of your replies and hope the Lord will give us many years to share our rich, ancient faith together on this wonderful forum. God bless you all.

Trusting in Christ's 1st & 2nd Advent
Dn. Ghazar / Lazarus Der-Ghazarian,
Sub-Deacon, Armenian Orthodox Church, Eastern Diocese USA
"Light of Christ" Website: www.geocities.com/derghazar/

p.s. When I posted this, my last post also appeared. Thanks again.

Sub-Deacon Ghazaros:

Christ is in our midst!! He is and always will be!!

There are some glitches in the software that leave posts floating out there somewhere in cyberspace. I've had the same problem lately. Also, logging on has sometimes been such as to try the patience of the saints.

BOB

Thank you, Bob. I'm glad to know its not just me experiencing this or because of my own computer. Hopefully they will get the bugs worked out.

Apparently it is the server, and we have all been having the same problems...

As Bob said, we need to have the patience of saints sometimes logging on and posting here lately.

Atleast we know that this is helpful to our spiritual states in increasing our virtue of patience!! LOL!

(although I do not think that the server had our spiritual growth in mind!) hehehe!

Regards,
Alice

I have found that the past is never what we thought it was - and the future is never what we expect it to be.

I too have never thought of you as rude and have always considered your posts here (I have not read them all of course) to contribute to the spirit of the byzcath forums.

Your sincerity and honesty have done nothing but make you a valued member here. We are all on the same journey.

We are pleased to have you here representing your church which Christ loves.

-ray