The Byzantine Forum
Newest Members
EFOF91, deanjr, Hunter, Dwain LaFlamme, JeanLCP
5510 Registered Users
Who's Online Now
2 registered members (Fr. Al, 1 invisible), 51 guests, and 390 spiders.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Latest Photos
Papal Audience 10 November 2017
Upgraded Russian icon corner
Russian Greek Catholic Global Congress
OL EuroEast II (2007) Group
Portable Icon Screen
Forum Statistics
Forums26
Topics34,549
Posts410,720
Members5,510
Most Online2,716
Jun 7th, 2012
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 1 of 3 1 2 3
The Man Rules #322590
05/21/09 10:20 AM
05/21/09 10:20 AM
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 5,264
somewhere betwixt the Alpha an...
ebed melech Offline OP
Member
ebed melech  Offline OP
Member
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 5,264
somewhere betwixt the Alpha an...
My son sent this to me this morning. It is just WAAAY too funny!

Quote
The Man Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
Finally , the guys' side of the story.
( i must ad mit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear " the Rules "
From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1 "
ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.


1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.


1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not wort h the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping


Re: The Man Rules [Re: ebed melech] #322602
05/21/09 01:07 PM
05/21/09 01:07 PM
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 2,214
Houston, TX USA
Terry Bohannon Offline
Member
Terry Bohannon  Offline
Member
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 2,214
Houston, TX USA
"1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear."

Ha

Re: The Man Rules [Re: Terry Bohannon] #322607
05/21/09 02:02 PM
05/21/09 02:02 PM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 10,896
USA
Alice Offline
Moderator
Alice  Offline
Moderator
Member
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 10,896
USA
I love it!!!!

Re: The Man Rules [Re: Alice] #322611
05/21/09 03:33 PM
05/21/09 03:33 PM
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 1,963
Takoma Park, MD
T
Two Lungs Offline
Member
Two Lungs  Offline
Member
T
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 1,963
Takoma Park, MD
Yes and No are both acceptable answers. laugh

Re: The Man Rules [Re: Two Lungs] #322624
05/21/09 06:49 PM
05/21/09 06:49 PM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 10,896
USA
Alice Offline
Moderator
Alice  Offline
Moderator
Member
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 10,896
USA
Quote
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

LOL, LOL, LOL!!!

I may never hear the end of this one (or ever get that extra weight off him) now that I shared this with my husband!!! smirk

Re: The Man Rules [Re: Alice] #322700
05/22/09 09:26 PM
05/22/09 09:26 PM
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 409
Joliet
Katie g Offline
Member
Katie g  Offline
Member
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 409
Joliet
"1. You have too many shoes."

There is no such thing as too many shoes.

Re: The Man Rules [Re: Katie g] #322704
05/22/09 10:09 PM
05/22/09 10:09 PM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 704
Pittsburgh, PA
R
rcguest Offline
Bill from Pgh
rcguest  Offline
Bill from Pgh
Member
R
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 704
Pittsburgh, PA
Good stuff!

"1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!"

That one especially. smile

Re: The Man Rules [Re: Katie g] #322705
05/22/09 10:10 PM
05/22/09 10:10 PM
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 1,963
Takoma Park, MD
T
Two Lungs Offline
Member
Two Lungs  Offline
Member
T
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 1,963
Takoma Park, MD
Originally Posted by Katie g
"1. You have too many shoes."

There is no such thing as too many shoes.


More than two shoes is excessive, unless you are a horse. laugh

More than four is excessive, period. laugh

Re: The Man Rules [Re: Two Lungs] #322707
05/22/09 10:33 PM
05/22/09 10:33 PM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 10,896
USA
Alice Offline
Moderator
Alice  Offline
Moderator
Member
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 10,896
USA
Originally Posted by Two Lungs
Originally Posted by Katie g
"1. You have too many shoes."

There is no such thing as too many shoes.


More than two shoes is excessive, unless you are a horse. laugh

More than four is excessive, period. laugh


NOT true...ofcourse men would not understand, but let me try:

A woman needs casual shoes that are flat, shoes with heels for slightly more formal wear, shoes with heels for very dressy occasions, different colors to match different outfits, shoes for working out (sneakers/or 'trainers' as the Brits here might like to call them), shoes that match the season, ie: boots and sandals and beach sandals....and then let's not forget new shoes that are in fashion, and merrily, merrily, merrily, the list goes on and on!! smile

NEVER be so foolish as to think that a woman has enough shoes!!! LOL!

Re: The Man Rules [Re: Alice] #322710
05/22/09 11:04 PM
05/22/09 11:04 PM
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 2,735
The Third Rome
Slavipodvizhnik Offline
Member
Slavipodvizhnik  Offline
Member
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 2,735
The Third Rome
Alice, you should try the old Russian peasant oonochi. Very comfortable and goes with everything. First the foot is wrapped in a layer of felt, and then covered with an attractive protective layer of birchbark, and the whole ensemble is then tastefully wrapped with an old rag or a strap of leather. I hear that Versace is looking into it. wink

Sasha

Re: The Man Rules [Re: Slavipodvizhnik] #322711
05/22/09 11:13 PM
05/22/09 11:13 PM
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 2,735
The Third Rome
Slavipodvizhnik Offline
Member
Slavipodvizhnik  Offline
Member
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 2,735
The Third Rome
When I was growing up, one generally had 2 pairs of shoes, your "good shoes", which were ONLY worn to Church, funerals and like, and your "play shoes", which were normally a form of leather soled clodhoppers of some sort. The poor kids, on the other hand, generally only had "play shoes", and wore them to Church, and the really poor kids would just paint their feet black and hoped no one would notice.

Re: The Man Rules [Re: Slavipodvizhnik] #322713
05/22/09 11:34 PM
05/22/09 11:34 PM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 787
New Jersey
F
Fr David Straut Offline
Member
Fr David Straut  Offline
Member
F
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 787
New Jersey
I also grew up with us having two pairs of shoes. The first was not only for church and special occasions, but also were worn at school. We called these our "good shoes" and a new pair was bought for us each fall. The second pair were indeed termed "play shoes." They were invariably last years "good" shoes pressed into a second year of service. I always remember my Mother sending me right upstairs right after to school each day to change into my play clothes and play shoes.

Fr David Straut


Re: The Man Rules [Re: Slavipodvizhnik] #322714
05/22/09 11:38 PM
05/22/09 11:38 PM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 10,896
USA
Alice Offline
Moderator
Alice  Offline
Moderator
Member
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 10,896
USA
Originally Posted by Slavipodvizhnik
Alice, you should try the old Russian peasant oonochi. Very comfortable and goes with everything. First the foot is wrapped in a layer of felt, and then covered with an attractive protective layer of birchbark, and the whole ensemble is then tastefully wrapped with an old rag or a strap of leather. I hear that Versace is looking into it. wink

Sasha


Dearest Sasha,

Hmmm...I don't know...I think I will pass on those for now! LOL! grin

(You really are TOO funny! Thanks for the giggle of the night!)

Regards,
Alice smile

Re: The Man Rules [Re: Alice] #322717
05/23/09 12:37 AM
05/23/09 12:37 AM
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 409
Joliet
Katie g Offline
Member
Katie g  Offline
Member
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 409
Joliet
Alice,

I am sooo with you! I have red shoes (red leather peep toes just like Sarah Palin- my favs!), green shoes (I will most definitely bust them out for Pentecost next week), purple shoes, brown shoes, black shoes (flats, kitten heels and pumps) numerous pairs of flip fops, loafers, sandals, work out shoes (only worn at or in a gym), shoes for riding my bike, and two pairs of every day tennis shoes and then some...

I consider my shoe collection to be both practical and an expression of who I am. I usually get many compliments on them. For a girl, it would almost be unthinkable to wear a pair of brown pumps with a black dress. (And I know men don't care, but it is a pet peeve of mine when men wear black shoes and a brown belt.)


Re: The Man Rules [Re: Katie g] #322720
05/23/09 01:30 AM
05/23/09 01:30 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 787
New Jersey
F
Fr David Straut Offline
Member
Fr David Straut  Offline
Member
F
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 787
New Jersey
Originally Posted by Katie g
IFor a girl, it would almost be unthinkable to wear a pair of brown pumps with a black dress. (And I know men don't care, but it is a pet peeve of mine when men wear black shoes and a brown belt.)

Well, I must agree with you on this one. Black with black and brown with brown. Of course (other than vestments) I wear absolutely nothing but black, so I'm always safe. smile

Fr David

Page 1 of 3 1 2 3

The Byzantine Forum provides message boards for discussions focusing on Eastern Christianity (though discussions of other topics are welcome). The views expressed herein are those of the participants and may or may not reflect the teachings of the Byzantine Catholic or any other Church. The Byzantine Forum and the www.byzcath.org site exist to help build up the Church but are unofficial, have no connection with any Church entity, and should not be looked to as a source for official information for any Church. All posts become property of byzcath.org. Contents copyright - 1996-2018. All rights reserved.
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.6.1.1
(Release build 20180111)
Page Time: 0.017s Queries: 15 (0.005s) Memory: 2.0412 MB (Peak: 2.2690 MB) Zlib enabled. Server Time: 2018-06-23 13:56:48 UTC