Hello!
I have been reading this forum for about two months and have been a member for about a month and a half. I have not gotten up the courage to overcome my shyness in order to post until today.
I am a Latin Rite Catholic who is displeased with some major things in the Latin Rite wing of the Church. While my grandmother was a Byzantine Catholic until she married my grandfather, I only recently learned that she was Byzantine and only after I began to learn a little about it myself. My grandmother is Croatian but I know nothing about this; all of my other grandparents were off- the- boat Irish, thus Latin Rite people. It might be good to mention here that Irish people seem to have a Catholicism that is all their own... and I was raised on it.
The thing is that, for my entire adult life, I have gotten really fed up with things- like no respect for the Eucharist (my husband and I are the only Latin Rite members I know who believe that the Eucharist is the Body and Blood of Christ). It even seems like some priests have little to no respect for the Eucharist! Also, I am aware of a number of terrible abuses of the Liturgy. I am also disappointed in the fact that most parish priests have no time for their parishoners and often do not know them. I get fed up and then stop going to Mass and thus stop receiving the Eucharist for a while. Eventually I go back but then I get fed up again. This drives me nuts because it is not good for me, my husband, my kids and this behavior is especially unjust to God!
Recently, I spoke with someone who is Byzantine and he has invited me to attend a Divine Liturgy. I have been very excited about this and have been reading all I can about Byzantine Catholicism. The confusing thing is that it makes me very happy and content to learn about it and I feel as though I ought to look into joining a Byzantine parish. I just feel at ease when I think of Byzantine Catholicism and I feel very liberated and light. This sounds silly, I know. I just feel as if a weight has been lifted off of my back and I just feel so right. I just feel like the Latin Rite is not fitting well with me and this causes me great anguish. Religion isn't supposed to feel this way!
What scares me is that I am afraid I might miss some of the Latin traditions and devotions. This is so superficial, I know! I have been devoted to the Sacred and Immaculate Heart for so long and I also love the Rosary. These devotions have become a part of my daily life and also a part of my family's daily routine.
Can anyone identify with me? Does anyone have any advice?
From what I have read, so many kind people are on this forum who have a deep respect for everyone- even Latin right members (even if we don't always deserve it!)
Please forgive me for any ignorance... I hope I have not come off too silly or superficial.
Thank you!
Irena B

Glory to Jesus Christ!

I am a Byzantine Catholic and see no problem with a Byzantine Catholic praying the Rosary or having a devotion to the Sacred Heart and the Immaculate Heart. While they are not part of our Byzantine Traditions if they help fulfill a spiritual need then thats wonderful. What you do for your private spiritual life is between you, God and your spiritual father. Which if you haven't found a Byzantine Priest to confess to and ask these same questions then I would do so.

I have a devotion to Saint Nektarios, who isn't widely venerated in Byzantine Catholic Churches from what I have seen (I hope I am wrong) since he is a modern Greek Orthodox Saint. But this doesn't make me less of a Catholic. Also I image many Orthodox Christians pray the Rosary, it may not be widespread but maybe some do. Just like many Latin Catholics use Icons or a prayer rope in their private spiritual life. Now forcing one tradition on the other because one is better thats a no-no but thats not the case from what you wrote.

God be with you and pray for me.

I think it is wonderful that you have found a road that is so spiritually fulfilling.

My father's family is Ukrainian Byzantine while my mother's side is Latin Rite. Both my wife and I were raised Roman (I mostly because of the lack of Eastern churches at the time I grew up). Soon after we were married, we explored the eastern church and absolutely fell in love with it. We participated in the eastern liturgy for six months straight before re-experiencing tha mass. I was astounded at what I have been missing all these years. What I learned during those six months gave me a new perspective on the Latin liturgy and allowed me to realize the beauty in it.

I believe my spiritual home is in the East, but my respect for our fellow churches continues to grow the more I learn. I pray you will have similar experiences. Thanks for sharing.

Irena,

Welcome to the forum.

First, let me ask that you take your time in exploring the East. Beyond what you've read about here and heard about elsewhere, it sounds as though your real life exposure to it has been little to none.

There is a caveat that I invariably offer to those of the Latin Church who feel drawn to the East, whether it be the consequence of a newly-discovered personal heritage, exposure to a spirituality they've not previously experienced, or, most particularly, as in the case that you've presented, a decided disaffection with one's current spiritual and worship environment. The caveat ... such a transition is not necessarily easy nor should the journey be undertaken lightly; the Eastern Churches welcome those who are running to the East, but are decidedly cautious of those running from the West.

Please understand that I don't say this to be unkind but from a very real concern that no one take us to be more than we are or see us as a panacea to one's spiritual distress. It's unlikely that any Eastern or Oriental Christian here, Catholic or Orthodox, has not come in contact with one or more persons who rushed headlong into the embrace of Eastern Christianity only to find themselves disenchanted or disappointed, because the grass was found to be not necessarily greener - at least to their eye.

To date, your exposure has been what you've read here or elsewhere, what you've heard, and the spiritual beauty that you imagine to be waiting for you versus dissatisfaction with your current religious life.

You acknowledge that there is a part of you which is attached to certain Western devotions and a concern on your part that these wouldn't be part of the life of an Eastern Christian. As public devotions, no, but we'd be lying if we told you that there are not many, many Eastern Christians whose private religious praxis includes a number of Western devotions, because they grew up with them in the era of latinization, because they were learned in settings such as school, because they themselves came from the West, or just because they became familiar with or aware of them and found them spiritually enriching.

But, it's putting the cart before the horse to even be concerned about that at this point in your exploration of the East. It is also way too early to be thinking about a Byzantine spiritual director, as someone suggested. You don't yet know what the East is about beyond what you've read and heard. You'll want to read and learn more about Eastern Christianity and you'll want to explore and learn about it in the most intimate and meaningful of ways - by visiting our Churches and worshiping with us. Only then can you begin to know whether this is where you want to be, where God intends for you to be.

When you can say that your spirituality is enhanced in ways you have not previously experienced and that this is a direct consequence of worshiping and praying in an Eastern Church environment - and your negative feelings about praxis and spirituality in the Western Church no longer come across as the driving force in your thoughts about moving toward the East, then you will be ready to make meaningful decisions about the direction of your spiritual journey. And, it does not have to be an all or nothing decision. Among the members here, as is the case in the wider real world, there are many who never make any formal transition to Eastern Christianity, but who have a profound love for and interest in the East and live some parts of their religious life in that sphere. For others, that is not enough and their commitment must be entire or they find themselves wanting. Still others are content with having learned of, understanding, and observing from the fringe.

Please take what I've said as it is meant. We are here to answer your questions, to explain, and to nuture when needed or asked to do so. We don't judge but we try to be honest and upfront, we try to be understanding without sacrificing the right to be frank when needed, and regardless of whatever decision you make, we will do our best to support you in it.

Many years,

Neil

Hello!

Thank you all for your concern, prayers and comments!

I have taken them all to heart.

I wanted to say that this is very hard for me and, as a result, I am proceeding very slowly. I love the Catholic Church- and consider myself a Catholic first and foremost. If my issues were brand new and hadn't been nagging me since reaching the age of reason, this would not be a big deal and I could liken it to simple curiosity. As it is, though, my problem really comes from a deep love for the Church but a dissatisfaction with how things are. I also feel that the Latin Rite just isn't helping me get deep enough into things. I have kept an open mind and heart but I feel as though, spiritually, the Latin Rite is just not doing for me what it ought to do- despite any and all effort put into it. This is incredibly painful for me because Latin Rite Catholicism has been a part of my life since I was born. I have actually been avoiding going to an Eastern Church because actually making the decision to do so was very, very hard!

I see how unhealthy it would be to run from one to the other; this is a recipe for failure. I am hoping to prevent this and trying my best to keep a cool mind while, at the same time, not preventing myself from finding a place in Eastern Tradition. Striking this balance is not an easy thing to do. I'd rather run towards the warmth of the sun for the simple sake of feeling warm than run from the night out of fear of the dark or from feeling cold.

Also, I know I must keep in mind that Eastern Tradition may have its flaws, too. And that nothing is perfect. Thinking that Eastern Rite is prefect is a dangerous thing to do...

The thing is that I am at the point where something needs to be done. I am not going to Mass and actually feel panicked about doing so. I have finally decided to attend a Divine Liturgy this Sunday and do not feel at all panicked. An acquaintance is meeting with me before hand to explain some things to me and give me a tour of the Church. This person is very nice and someone who used to be Roman- so we have some things in common. He also knows much about the religion and is very good at explaining things. I am very, very excited because I have only read about the Divine Liturgy and never have experienced it. I also feel a little relieved that I will have someone to explain things to me and to answer some questions.

It is true that I know very little about Eastern Rite; that is why I am here!

The truth is that this journey- no matter where it takes me- has been very difficult and at times painful. In the end, I must do what will best enable me to grow and serve God in the best possible way. This may be sticking with the West but taking to heart many great things I have learned from the East. This may be turning to the East and bringing some of the West with me in my private devotions. I am praying very hard that I will know what God wants me to do- even if it is the harder thing.

Thank you for calling to my attention to some things that really need to be thought about and explored. I appreciate that people are up front and honest with me because this means that there is a real sense of caring rather than simply the desire for an increase in numbers. If anyone could recommend some good books for me, I'd appreciate it.

Please pray for me and I will pray for you!

Irena B

Thank you! I have never heard of St. Nektarios. What was his life like?

I have a "thing" for St. Francis of Assisi and most things Franciscan.

Irena

Thank you for sharing and for your support!

I think it probably was a good thing to have attended a Western Mass after having attended the Eastern Liturgy for six months... I'd imagine this helped out a lot. There is much beauty in the Mass; I just think it is hidden behind the every- day hum- drum activity of it all. A few Romans are now attending the Tridentine mass where it is available. I have heard that this Mass has also caused a love and respect for the Mass that did not exist before. I have also hear that this mass inspires a real respect and love for the Eucharist.

There is beauty in both Rites, I know... I am just dealing with some things that are not so beautiful in one rite at the moment (and have been for years).

I am attending my first Divine Liturgy this weekend and am very exited!

Pray for me and I will pray for you!

Irena B.

Dearest Irena,

Welcome to the forum!

Here you will find a very comprehensive life of St. Nektarios, a most recent saint...he died in the early 20th century and was canonized, due to his popularity and miracles, not too long afterwards.

http://www.saint-nectarios-of-aegina.org/St%20Nectarios.html

Many people all over the world feel especially close to St. Nektarios, not only because through him, our Lord grants many miracles and answers to prayers, but also because, although he served the Church and loved God's people, he served the Church 'in the world' (rather than in a monastery or as an ascete) and suffered much because the evil one worked through weak and sinful people to hurt him, to betray him, and to slander him.

In Christ,
Alice

Irena,



EVERYONE always deserves respect.

To get to the question in your first post.....

... I'm no-one's spiritual father. But I know lots of people who have been in your shoes. My opinion (only my opinion) is you should keep the prayers your family prays, and go to the Byzantine Liturgy if that's what's best.

God Bless,

Markos

Glory to Jesus Christ!
Welcome to the forum Irena B. I'm just seeing your posts for the first time. Great Lent is a wonderful time to experience Eastern liturgies, even our smaller parishes will have some liturgies outside of the Sunday Divine Liturgy. Now moving into Lazarus Saturday tomorrow and Palm Sunday and Great and Holy week, it's all the most wonderful time to be exposed to Eastern liturgy.

I'm canonically Latin. I am not a cradle Catholic. My best friend all of my childhood was Latin Church Catholic and her grandparents Greek Orthodox so I was exposed to both as a young child and clearly they both had an impact on me. I came in to the Latin Church 20 years ago when I was struggling very much with profound limitation in the faith community I was a part of. I was working with a spiritual director. Catholicism seemed improbable to me as the place I ought to be but the call seemed very clear and on blind faith I moved into the darkness that was the Church about which I knew so little. Over the years the Church has become illuminated for me and I feel completely Catholic.

I only discovered the Eastern Catholic or Oriental Catholic churches a couple of years ago. I immediately felt at home, tho like my first entry into the Latin Church I really knew not what I was engaging in other than the fullness of the Holy Trinity I felt there and an immediate click with the mindset of the East. Unwrapping, understanding, what I was experiencing in the East has been a slow process which very much continues and I'm sure always will. This forum has certainly been a huge help with that.

For the past year I've fulfilled my "Sunday Obligation" at my Byzantine parish, no longer at the Latin parish. I follow the liturgical calendar and fasting practices of the East. I'm still very involved with my Latin parish as a catechist and attending daily Mass. It can be a challenge for me on many levels. Morning Mass yesterday, the Feast of the Annunciation, was so bereft I went to the local Dominican Priory in the evening and was very grateful I had. It helped satisfy for me the need I felt to truly celebrate that great Feast day. Thankfully I'd been to a 2 1/2 hour Orthodox Vespers the night before.

Like Brian Kerzetski I would say that my participation in the Diving Liturgy and other liturgies of the East has deepened my appreciation of the Mass, which in the Latin churches I attend is not what I'd wish it to be. Still I love daily communal worship which is available only in the Latin context. Unintended I also find that the many Latin Catholics I'm around appreciate the emphasis I share which has been lost in many Latin communities and is still present in the East of the active sacramentality of everyday life.

I piece together my communal worship experiences as best I can. An Orthodox parish has been a big help for me because my Byzantine parish has a limited offering of services due to our tiny size and all being commuters.

I would encourage you to look for a qualified spiritual director. I don't know if there are any Latin monasteries or good retreat communities near you which might be the source for good direction. Sometimes even just an older parishioner who is a good listener and well grounded in their own spiritual practice is enough. As Neil so wisely says, it's important in exploring the East not be running from the very real struggles you feel with your Latin Church experiences.

One of the things that totally supports me as a Catholic is His Holiness Pope Benedict XVI. If you have not read his books from before he was pope I encourage you to do so. I was recently encouraged to do so by an Orthodox priest. I believe we are greatly blest to be living in the time of this Holy Father.

This forum has been very helpful to me. I'm sure you will continue to find it so.