I've fallen away from our Byzantine Catholic Church because of my sins and because there is no BC parish near me I can get too. I am attending an RC college and become discouraged and even stopped attending the RC liturgies. I feel like I have lost my BC identity and the joy I once had. I need advice and help.

Robert

Christ is in our midst!!

Been down the road of feeling utterly abandoned. Like the story of Mother Teresa's feeling of being utterly abandoned by the Lord, this is probably the toughest test that the Lord could give you.

It'll take a big dose of faith to persevere. I'd advise taking some time each day to pray and use your prayerbook to focus the time. Even if you get a short amount of time set aside, keep it as a sacred time that nothing else can intrude on--thinking that nothing is as important as your "God time."

We're fallen because of sin. The point is not to wallow in them, but to look up to the Lord Who is gracious and rich in mercy. He walks with you every day with one arm around your shoulder, sharing everything with you. Remember His cry on the Cross: " . . . why have You abandoned me." And you haven't fallen away from the Church because you're separated from your parish and support system in it. You're just away physically, but not spiritually.

Remember that when you pray, you join yourself to every Byzantine Christian who is praying, has ever prayed, or will ever pray. You are not alone. Been down this path, too. Look up. You remain in my poor prayers. Stay close to the mysteries wherever you can find them. Being in an RC environment may seem alien to you, but you still recieve the Lord there. Focus on Him and try to stay close to Him.

In Christ,

Bob

Robert,

First, find a priest and talk with him, and tell him your issues. Ask him to help you find a spiritual director for your remaining time at the college. There is absolutely nothing wrong with seeking spiritual support from a Roman Catholic priest. Not to do so when you are clearly in need can be sinful.

Do this today. You attend a Catholic college and it should not be difficult to find a priest wandering around or in the campus ministry office.

John

I can't help or advise, Brother, but I will pray for you today.

Thank all of you for your responses. I am going to talk to a priest at the Oratory. I prayed from my prayerbook and feel a little better, but I know I have a ways to go in my healing process.

My daughter joined Orthodox Christian Fellowship at her university, and was welcomed into their company. She sang in the choir of a ROCOR parish for several years. While there may not be an Orthodox Christian Fellowship at your school (I rather doubt it, under the circumstances), there may be an Orthodox parish nearby where you can worship in accord with the Tradition, even if you cannot receive communion.

Well you're liable to have some company in the ranks of the fallen-away - and that'd be ME. Only I'm taking here about falling away from belief in God altogether. I swear, all during Lent this year I have been inwardly struggling with some very, very basic ideas comprising the cosmology of belief/faith.

Truth to tell: I still believe but I don't much care anymore. I'm to the point of believing in God about the same way I believe that Buenos Aires is in Argentina. It's true, it IS in Argentina. So what?

Praying for you, Robert.

In addition to the excellent advice to talk to a priest, I also recommend finding a group of people with similar religious interests.

Be it a prayer group, a Bible study group, a social outreach group, something you can identify with and share with others.

God Bless!

Shalom,
Memo

Sielos:

I am going through the same thing. I have many doubts as well, thank you for being honest. I don't know what religion I'll belong too, if any at all in the end. I've joined so many paths and faiths and even been an atheist. To be honest I do not want the counsel of a Latin priest or director. I consider attending Latin schools a main reason for the erosion of my identity and loss of Byzantine faith and praxis--my greatest error was not moving to a strong Byzantine community. It's ironic that in a place where Latins flourish this little Byzantine doth whither:( My spiritual Father, the OCA priest who chrismated me, after me and my god mother and her kids left the Ruthenian Church, has died and has never been replaced. I am going to try to get back on track, but if I fail, then I will have to let go of my aspirations to practice again the traditions of the Carpatho-Rusyn Catholic Church which I chose to return to a couple years ago. Thanks to all for your advice.

It's Lent. We're in the desert with Him. It's dry. It doesn't mean we are not in the right place. It's just dry. Persevere. Surrender. Pray. Pray. Pray.

Prayers for you. Pray for me.

If I completely lapse from Christianity into agnosticism, I'll just be another garden-variety lapsed Greek Catholic. I have no desire to join another Church or religon. I don't want to go from the frying pan into the fire. I do not want to swap the witch I know for the devil I don't.

A lot of this "church-stuff" is a real faith-killer. What ought to be peripheral often becomes central. I don't want to give concrete examples of what I'm referring to. What that means for me is probably different to what it could mean for other people. In my case it's strictly subjective.

There are times of ups and downs, church related, religion related and/or faith related, in the spiritual lives of many Christians.
Sometimes we just do not understand.
Sometimes we almost wonder if we believe or what it is all about...
We need to remember that it is about the great prize of seeing our Creator who loves us when we have finished this troublesome, difficult earthly journey.
I understand how you feel. Try not to dwell on it too much and think about it too much because the evil one works through our thoughts to shatter our belief even more than it is sometimes shattered.
If 'church stuff' is unimportant at this time in your journey, don't worry about it and concentrate on what you need to concentrate on.
Take a break from this forum and talking about 'church stuff'. Maybe join a forum that talks more about other matters of faith, or don't spend anytime talking about anything religious or spiritual.
Maybe it is time to just see the beauty of God's creation and the simple things and gifts which we take for granted (loved ones, nature; a pet; wholesome entertainment; friends);
Maybe it is just time to take care of yourself and your earthly life and needs for a short while;
Maybe it is time to find different prayers or spiritual music which will appeal to you at this time.
Maybe it is just time to say, along with many of us, priests and laypeople alike, who have said the same thing one time or another,"Lord I believe. Help my unbelief!"
God bless you dear Sielos, and may God bless us and strenghten us all in this difficult journey and path of Christianity which we follow in a world that is increasingly pagan. Amen.

Slava Isusu Christu!

I have come back to the Church through Confession, thank you for your prayers. I was throwing a pity party wasn't I? Now on to the real work of keeping faithful and living the life of Faith. I don't know what came over me. I am going to try to write a monastery to get some spiritual direction and call our parish in Ft. Myers to speak with the priest there. I do love our Byzantine Catholic Church and was foolish for leaving Her. Please forgive me and please continue to pray for me, a sinner.

Robert

Christ is in our midst!!

Where to start . . .

You were never far away; just got that "homesick" feeling for the familiar ways in which you experienced God and lived the Faith. You're on a pilgrimage away and are now challenged like the butterfly to come out of the cocoon and spread your wings. Your familiar support system is not close by and it's tough. Welcome to adult faith. Be not afraid; reach out to others who are feeling the same way.

Feeling down in that circumstance? Normal. Be not afraid.

". . . real hard work of keeping faithful and living the life of Faith." Yeah, see above. But it can be an adventure, too. On the back of my cross it says, "Christ is counting on you." That's my challenge; how about you?

Spiritual direction can be had close by, too. Don't be afraid to check out clergy you find in your own backyard. Walk away from the kind that think they're out to convert you. But in a college or university, the chaplains ought to be the type that are trying desparately to help you stay faithful.

You didn't leave your Church. You're away. But you are still in communion and those who are home are carrying you in prayer. That's what the Communion of Saints is all about. How about that Byzantine petition for "those who are absent for honorable reasons"?

Nothing to forgive. You asked for a life jacket and I hope we've been able to throw you a line to grab. You're in my prayers that you'll stay the course now and for the rest of your pilgrimage.

Look up. We all have these periods in our walk with the Lord. Sometimes it feels like He's left us like a pile of dirty laundry by the side of the road. Sometimes it feels like He's sitting right across the table. It's all about staying the course and pounding on His ear not to forget us.

Remember He doesn't make junk and He poured out His life for you. You must be worth plenty to Him. Believe it.

Bob

--- I know it isn't easy, but even reading eastern books will help (the Melkites have some good ones at Sophia Press)...and being part of Byzantine blogs. I say- protect yourself and think about moving to a place where there are more Eastern Catholics (back East is best)---but even if it is a 2 hour drive, get to a Byzantine church at least once a month IMHO