Hi guys, I've recently joined the forum so greetings and peace to you all!

I'm looking for some advice. I originally posted on the CAF Eastern Catholicism board, I received some good answers but one poster suggested I should post it on here. Apologies for the lengthy post.

Basically I find myself caught between Catholicism and Orthodoxy. I was born a raised Roman Catholic but ever since my teenage years I have been drawn to Orthodoxy. For the last 4-5 years I have read so much Orthodox history and theology. I have attended services and met with Orthodox priests. I also studied Russian and East European history at university, I studied in Russia for a while and encountered Orthodoxy further there, which was amazing. For a while I was convinced it was only a matter of time before I converted. However, I would constantly yo-yo between Orthodoxy and the Catholicism of my upbringing, I could never quite commit, there was always something holding me back. To cut a long story short, over the past 6 month to a year I have become almost convinced that the Catholic Church is actually Christ's Church (I mean absolutely no disrespect to any Orthodox reading this at all, I love the Orthodox Church).

But this leaves me with a real problem, namely how to view the Orthodox Church? There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that there is true holiness within the Orthodox Church. When you read the lives of Orthodox saints, when you read about Mount Athos and the miracles that happen within Orthodoxy, it makes me wonder, if the Catholic Church is the true faith then where does Orthodoxy fit in? I have become very 'Eastern' in my Christianity. I just can't turn it off. I love so many Orthodox saints, when I venerate them now I feel guilty because I am leaning towards Catholicism and they, while alive, were Orthodox.

I guess I have always viewed things in a very black and white manner- I would be either Roman Catholic or Eastern Orthodox. Perhaps, forgive me for this, I have been a little dismissive of Eastern Catholicism. But maybe thats the answer. Yet I cant help but wonder why God has given me so many wonderful experiences with Orthodoxy if I am to remain Catholic. The nearest EC church is over an hour away and I would find it expensive and difficult to travel there every week, but I have 3 Orthodox churches in my city, one only 10 minutes away. Maybe I can attend RC Mass and Divine Liturgy, but I dont know how the Orthodox priests will feel about that. I just dont know and I'm really confused.

I guess I'm hoping some of you guys may be able to offer some insights or advice?

Peace

Chris

Let me propose that the Orthodox Church is the Church, as is the Roman Catholic Church.

Perhaps you might picture it this way:

If Christ's Body on earth were a castle of concentric walls, the Catholic and Orthodox Church would both reside at the centre - in the keep. The keep has a curtain drawn through it, separating one side from the other; but just a curtain is permeable in real terms, it is in this analogy as well. Some on both sides may wish to exaggerate the separation, and some may even seek to bolster it with stone, but the keep is inhabited by both just the same.

The fact is, unlike the Protestant communities that chose to go their own way in the sixteenth century, there was no substantial issue behind the schism between East and West. [Hence Pope Benedict's insistence that nothing should be required of the East in ecumenical dialogue that was not articulated in the first millennium.]

Now, I know that there may be some who wish to take me to task for saying so, but even something like the filioque clause has been recognised as being less problematic than originally argued.

In any case, I would not think in terms of 'Christ's Church' as if one or the other was not Christ's Church. The two were once one, and as one was founded by Christ's apostles. That can be taken away from neither.

It seems to me that being in communion with Rome is ideal, which is what makes me an Eastern Catholic; but I could hardly tolerate any suggestion that those not in communion in Rome, yet still of the Apostolic Faith were anything other than members of the Church.

I would suggest that if you're going to go off on a search for truth, you'll need to leave behind practical considerations like the distance between your home and this or that parish, or how a priest will feel about your journey.

As for venerating Saints, let your conscience rest. You're free to privately venerate anybody dead. Fill your boots.

As for where Orthodoxy fits in, you're only faced with a choice because of the unique circumstances of modern life. Don't think it to death. You've got to realize that doctrine and disputes and all that play almost no real role of any substance in the lives of ordinary Christians. If you were born here, you did this; and if there, that. People have followed their clergy in and out of schisms and all just trying to accept the grace of the sacraments and live out their lives, peaceful and unashamed and all that.

Anyway, I'd say it doesn't "fit in". There were never supposed to be two competing Christianities. You're only caught in the middle because man, following his pattern, screwed it up. So, there's an excellent chance you're not going to find peace, as such.

I would say to you that Slavophile is spot on about what the Church is, but I think that the advantage for the truest Church would be the Orthodox Catholic Church not Roman. Why, what about Peter you say? Well who he is talking about in his confession (Christ being the Son of G*d and the Messiah) is the foundation of Church, That is the Son of G*d is the foundation of the Church. Not Peter.

Augustine theology, which is proto-Scholastic is in contrast to Eastern Patristic understanding on many issues. The overwhelming majority of ECF would disagree with Augustine on these issues.

Also the whole issue surrounding the Papal Monarchy is a perverted development totally foreign to the east. Read up on Charlemagne, how and why the Cardinal College was invented, the Forged Canons on Papal Monarchy etc... It seems to me good pious Catholics kept the faith as Orthodox as they could despite these lunatics and their lust for earthly power.