Please pray for me, that the right thing might be done by me. I've had such a horrible time with Catholicism. I find I just cannot bring myself to accept and practice Roman Catholicism - the theology, the spirituality, the general spirit, and the history of the the entire communion all frustrate me to no end. I wanted to just become Byzantine Catholic, but it's not possible to ignore Rome. I honestly don't see how the two churches' differences can be reconciled without one modifying the other. The mysticism, the philosophy, the Western severance of mysticism, theology, liturgy, even the glaring differences in affective character and the general "psychology"... I just don't know anymore. It only compounds my problems that Eastern ways just make so much more intuitive sense to me. I break down when I'm Roman and flourish when I try to live Orthodox. Please pray for me that I don't do something wrong.

You don't need to ignore Rome to be Byzantine Catholic. Western Spirituality and Eastern coexisted for over 1000 years. They still do in Byzantine Catholicism.

West without East, or East without West : "Incomplete".. Since Christianity is West and East, not only one of them

Yes, I see. I was having one of my... panicked moments there. Regardless, I got my answer after one of those moments where something's just too timely to be a coincidence. I was praying the LOTH and it just... answered me. I'm staying. I guess a part of the problem is that, being mentally ill, my mind sometimes gets stuck in a "glass half full" gear. Being more familiar with Rome as I am, I also know more negative stuff about her. Hence the freak outs when I do descend into negativity. Sometimes I seek the East as an escape because my general ignorance of and unfamiliarity with it allows me to take a load off. It gives me something fresh. But I think I'm gonna stay Roman and simply draw from the East, because doing things the other way around is less acceptable in an environment where delatinization is the name of the game, and because my entire life has been formed around Western Christian trappings. I was once a Protestant, and on top of that - culturally speaking - my sense of the sacred is highly informed by Roman Christianity, being exposed more to their ways by my popular culture than I have the Orthodox'. I mean... I'm an ex-goth (ya know, the romantic, epic, and lacrimose) and Rome is soooo gothy!

Prayers for your spiritual journey, whether it keeps you in the Latin Church or takes you to the East, Catholic or Orthodox.