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Joined: Feb 2005
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have anyone of your fellow Latins get really snarky with you in regards to your attendance at an Eastern Church?
I have a friend, or I thought she was a friend, who is being very dismissive and somewhat mean spirited about my family's attendance at our Byzantine parish and is very dismissive of our intention to carefully pursue spiritual direction and formation in the three years before we can petition for a change of rites.
She has accused us of "rite hopping" and "parish jumping".
I was just wondering if this type of attitude is common? Or if my friend has taken a long walk of the short pier or common courtesy.
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Joined: Feb 2004
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Hispanic Byzantine Member
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Hispanic Byzantine Member
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I believe these kind of reactions arise from ignorance.
When I started attending the Divine Liturgy in the Melkite Church almost two years ago, my family, specially my father (rest in peace), were very upset about it and started telling me I was a schismatic, even an apostate. With time they recognized their mistake, but I still have very strong problems with my girlfriend since she doesn't like my attendance to the Melkite Church and about me being a cantor and reader.
Anyway, every day that goes by I feel more and more at home at the East.
God bless
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Dear Friends,
Believe it or not, when I started getting "all Eastern," my parents and family friends started to worry I was going to reject the Ukrainian Catholic Church!
So you don't have to be a Latin to get the feeling you're "least because you're going East."
Alex
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You'd think I just said I was going to join the Scientology cult the way she acted.
Some of the things she said were quite scathing. But the good thing that came of it is that I responded to her e-mail with a very long and carefully thought out and prayed over response explaining to her why we are moving East.
If nothing else it helped clarify for me why we are doing what we are doing. It is the first time I've really sat down and thought it all through.
I haven't had to do that because with my husband and our daughter we start a sentence about what we love about the Eastern spirituality and the other person says, "Yeah. Me too." before you cane even finish the thought!
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She has accused us of "rite hopping" and "parish jumping".
I was just wondering if this type of attitude is common? Yes, we have been accused "rite hopping" and "parish jumping" too, even by close friends.
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Originally posted by Carole: have anyone of your fellow Latins get really snarky with you in regards to your attendance at an Eastern Church?
I have a friend, or I thought she was a friend, who is being very dismissive and somewhat mean spirited about my family's attendance at our Byzantine parish and is very dismissive of our intention to carefully pursue spiritual direction and formation in the three years before we can petition for a change of rites.
She has accused us of "rite hopping" and "parish jumping".
I was just wondering if this type of attitude is common? Or if my friend has taken a long walk of the short pier or common courtesy. Those Latin friends just want to hold on to you because misery loves company.  Go where your heart leads you and don't look back.
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 3,411
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I have bad news to compound all of this. The IOC has apparently dropped both rite hopping and parish jumping from the venue at Beijing in 2008.
Don't kill the messenger.
Andrew
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Forum Keilbasa Sleuth Member
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Forum Keilbasa Sleuth Member
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Well, as long as you contribute to McDonal.....(d)s... the ioc won't mind you supporting sui juiris changing... we all know the major sponsors. St. Melk and King of Ruthenia, pray for our less intelligent humans.
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Joined: Jan 2005
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Forum Keilbasa Sleuth Member
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On a more serious note. I posted a tad bit about this on another thread.
Yes, I met resistance from my Irish family about this. But, if you want to get into that weird American I'm this much percent this ethnic group.. I'm technically more Ukrainian stock than any other direct ancestor. So, in weird Americaness of declaring what nationality of what not you consist most of... it is Ruthenian/Ukrainian for me.
However, I was denied or not taught much about my Ukie background, save pysanky, pascha bread, etc...
Like I said in a previous post, a certain important patriarch of my family (I grew up in one of those families where your grandfather's opinion or ruling on an issue weighed just as much or more than my parents) didn't like me going to the Ukie Church.
He was didn't like it at all. I talk openly about it. John Paul II's funeral and the masses following changed his mind. Once he saw the "other Catholics" it was alright to be Ukie. I could go into more detail, but I won't. My Latin priest knows where I am, I'm waiting to get the rite change. He was cool about it. He said as long as I went to a Catholic church that was cool. I did get slack about it though. A lady close to me described me as sort of Catholic until I corrected her. In all reality, I don't care anymore what my family has to say. I was Irished to death and back my whole life, while being denied my more prominent Ukie background. I'll never go back, I'm Byzantine to stay. I love the prayers and spirituality. The smells and bells aren't what brought me here. I am a american-rusyn-lemko. More so in werid American terms than I am Irish. I feel at home, I love it. I am at the stage where I do not feel the need to explain why I attend the Ukie church. It is my business, it is just as Catholic as my mother's side of the family's Latin Catholic. I am going to take that certain someone to a Liturgy, sung of course. A side note if anyone is reading... the Byzantine/Orthodox liturgies (my dad only goes when a relative passes) well, my dad gets choked up and teary when he gets to a liturgy. Heck, at my uncles' non-Catholic wedding my aunts sang slavonic songs.. mnoyaya lita..etc.. It made more than my Dad tear up. They miss the beauty they experience as a kid. Anyway, yes, I have explained a to them. I said flollw the book and you''be fne. I technically didn't "go east." I just returned to what i am now because it was the right thing to do and I love the Liturgy and evey other prayer service. A hew pew section would be nicek us younger fok don't believe in patens and kneeling fot the Eucharist. Nyu favoire item to have is a Xe ohlt vAIA. ?rHnka you lrrinf mt ewvlw
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I am a Traditional Latin Rite Catholic who has sought refuge in the Eastern Church. As I and my relatives are Italian/Irish/Polish, we all have historically attended the RC Church. When my relatives find out that I attend only Eastern Liturgies, and sometimes drive a distance to do so, their first response is one of incredulity. However, it seems to be more based on ignorance than nastiness. They (as I used to be) have no clue what a Byzantine Church is, don't know what an Orthodox Church is and IMO don't even what the word "Liturgy" means. However, after a bit of explanation, they seem to become aware for the first time in their lives, that there is another "liturgical world" out there...
antonius
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Orthodox domilsean Member
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Orthodox domilsean Member
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My Irish mother said "well, at least you're going to church".
But I could tell she was a bit bothered. So I explained a bit more but she still thought I mean Orthodox -- she knows lots of them, so she's familiar with it, and we've Greek Orthodox in our family (they do everything three times, is what the Irish family says).
Finally, we were traveling and I took her to a melkite church. That seemed to solve it for her, when she realized she could go to communion and still meet her obligation, and that it was OK it was different.
So it's cool now.
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Dear Friends, No offense to the Irish, but historically it was the Irish RC bishops who treated the EC's here the worst. I read about how they would ask immigrant married EC priests whether they had sex the night before - to determine their worthiness of serving the Divine Liturgy. This also happened RECENTLY with a priest friend of mine. The Irish were really hell-bent on assimilating the EC's and singled-out married priests in particular. But they say that the most useless thing to a woman on a Saturday night is . . . an Irishman! (But we love our Irish EC's!) Alex
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The now reposed RC pastor of 38 years at the church where I play was of German origin. He used to say the Irish ruined the Church. He thought some of their attitudes and practices were strange, to say the least.
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Joined: May 2004
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That kind of reaction could be for multiple reasons.
I think most likely is that it seems like a kind of rejection to something important to her. i.e. she may feel you are rejecting the Latin rite and thus has become somewhat emotional about it.
Some people may not like it because they prefer liberal forms of Christianity (i.e. dissent) and the East represents something different or "backward" to them -- but that would presuppose a knowledge of the East and the orthodox Latin West, neither of which are unfortunately that well known. Most only know what is in their parish.
As for the Irish example, keep in mind the persecution of the English that they have languished under. To them, it isn't hard to understand how the non-celibate cleric would seem suspiciously like the Anglican Church which hadn't done them much in the way of favour and represented an overlord English state and aristocracy which persecuted Catholics.
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Joined: Nov 2001
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Dear Shawn,
I know a wonderful Scottish Roman Catholic lady who believes that the Roman Catholic Church is the Church founded by our Lord and the Apostles (as is).
All our "rites" etc. fall short of the mark - and they can commemorate the Pope all they like.
And she was a former Catholic school principal . . .
Alex
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