I myself, as well as all the doctors involved, have no reasonable explanation. The only thing that might shrink in that such a short a time is maybe an embolism (ballooned vessel cause by a blood clot) But the look of it in the first XRays, CAT scan, and PET scan was a solid mass. In any event it is not wise now to rise puncturing the lung plenum to find of what it was. There is a small risk of collapsing the lung or bleeding seepage into the lung if it does not seal itself well. So - we may never really know. It remains a mystery.
Officially it is recorded as - unknown.
But, in as much as it displayed as shrunken - the day after so many people began to pray (which surprised me as to how many at this board and here at home), and the fact that it was beyond the odds that most of the medical people, quite spontaneously, were very free to talk about God and church (a little against the rules I would imagine)... and one person that I know had not been near a Catholic church in years (a divorce) yet make special trip to a shrine of Our Lady of Lourdes and brought back items for me to carry - it seems clear to me that God himself beyond a doubt that God himself surrounded me with �his people� and moved these people and wanted to let me know that it was He who was doing this ... how could one NOT have the feeling that these unusual events and coincidence beyond the odds were surely connected.
I have no trouble believing that God, in the present, can reach back into the past and have things be, in the past, totally dependent upon his will of the present. I no longer believe that the past totally defines what the present is and what the future will be.
There have been times in my life where I was dead sure that something in the past was one way, and then in connection with some unusual event in the present... come to find out that the past was other than I had thought. Were we mistaken about some event in the past or were we right about what we think happened?? Only the present or the future can reveal that.
There was one time (and some may not believe me) ... that... well ... I used to hurry to work and drive 15 miles in rush hour traffic on the highway at 70 to 75 MPH (along with most people who rush to work) every day. I always left the house at about 20 minutes to 7 everyday. Yet invariably I was most often 5-10 minutes late to work everyday One day I decided to slow my life down and trust God more. And with that I also decided that I would slow down on the drive into work and not be so mentally driven. So I continued to leave my house at the same time everyday - but instead of 70+ MPH I pulled into the slow lane (with the retired people who were not in a rush - hehe) and also let my eyes see the clouds as I drove and the horizon and let my mind wander to God and what a great creation he made for us. I had decided that I would be at peace when I arrived, even if I arrived late - and let God take care of any consequences I had to face - as long as I maintained the non-driven peace he would like us to be in and he created us for.
I was stunned, with no explanation, I was now arriving to work - early. Instead of 5-10 minutes late I was arriving 5 minutes early or at least on time - yet I had slowed down (!) from 70 MPH ! (the highway stretch is about 15 miles long) I had slowed to 50-55 (that is about 20 MPH less!!). And I went by the exact same route.
My only immediate explanation to my mind was that God was telling me that I was doing what he wanted . Less stress� more trust that like the birds of the sky, he WAS arranging things for us.
I have spent 20 years in construction and electrical trades. Physics is physics and riding to work is a mechanical thing. There is absolutely no physical explanation. This happened for one week and it only dawned on me that I had been getting to work early (against all physics) at the end of that week. It came to me that there was only one answer and it was that God is in charge of time - it does what he wants and is as he want it to be - and that God wanted to impress upon me that I was doing the right thing - beginning to live the way he wants us to - in peaceful spirit with no anxiety - and I should live that way from now on.
From that point on - I try to live life (and that includes work) as if I am already - retired. I sometimes forget and fall into the old habits. But as a whole I have taken the inner whip off of myself. I have realized that all my obsessive efforts to get things �into place� and �in time� as if the results of my work are all up to me - is partially my own mistaken view of life and how this creation works.
We simple can not know all the �hidden variables� and the biggest hidden variable is God himself and how HE wants things to turn out.
Actions that Providence may take to created the past - dependent up on the present. I am no longer so invested nor obsessed (at least I try not to be) on the results of what I do or work at. I do - what I should do - and then I patiently watch how God has it work out in results. I no longer insist that the result work out as I myself had planned. I like it when the results work out as I had planned but if they do not work out as I had planned - I now give plenty of room for God to have things turn out his way - sometimes I know why and sometimes I do not know why he works things out in his own way.
During that one week (in which I was driving slower but getting to work earlier) I stepped off of the �thread mill� and I - refuse - to get back on it.
At one point (in thinking about this) I said to myself � if I knew that I was going to die in two days� that would be a freedom. I would no longer have to worry and obsess that I needed to worry to say just the right thing so that this or that works out for me. I would not be around for the results! Think about it. If you knew you were going to die in two days - you would have the mental freedom to live those two days in exactly the way you wanted to inside yourself. You could - live from your heart! If you felt you had to stroke the boos or yell at the subordinate on Monday - what good would that do you if you were to die on Wednesday?? If you absolutely knew you were to die in two days you would suddenly have the freedom to do whatever you wanted. And what you really really want - is to live from your heart. We all want to live what is true and what is in our hearts. We KNOW - THAT is the fulfillment of life that we long for - but we feel pressured by necessity to live in political ways.
Imagine what it would be like to live from our conscience and not fear bad consequences?? What a freedom to be yourself - that would be! You would have the freedom to live by your own heart - the freedom to cling to any truth and reality that you knew and not feel the need to compromise it in order to securing social necessities.
Imagine what it would be like after death - when we did not have to worry about paying the mortgage, stroking the boss, or being sure to saying just the right thing to avoid troubles, acting or saying the right thing in order to be liked and have life smooth and profitable.. .. Etc.. Even if no heaven existed - death - would be a - rest.
If one realizes these things than one might as well begin to live in that freedom - right now. One can live in the way he wants to (inside, by conscience, by what was in his heart) right now. Heaven - can begin - here. Rest can begin here. And our illusions of the way in which we now imagine the world works (which ways seem to requires us to mount the thread mill) can begin to drop away.
One must continue to work, and continue to be a husband, father, boss, etc� (humans are active by natural design) and so we should not become passive to life�s events - but the results are now a cooperation. WE - begin to live and not the false �me� that I think I need to be. In effect we do just about the same things (our job, our home duties) except now we do it for a different �master� and owner. We do it now for - ourselves and a friend (God) and not a task master. We can begin to cease doing what we feel driven to do and weed that stuff out - while we begin to recognize what it is that WE really WANT to do.
Sometimes things turn out my way - and sometimes His way. And once we cease to insist on our way all the time - we now give some room in our lives that we can begin to recognize and sometimes make a bit of sense out of when he does it - his way.
Imagine the inner freedom when we cease to - push life in front of us - or drag it behind us. When life becomes again, a friends that we live - with. A friendly cooperation. Something to experience instead of something to manipulate.
Anyway - these are my own thoughts and experiences and my own expression. It is not doctrine nor preaching - it is what I find in my own life to be true and a good way for me to try and live.
I must admit - that it seems to me (regarding what had every evidence of cancer) that the whole event seems indicative of God being moved to create the results that so many good people were asking him to bring about. And he did it in such a way as that those who asked for it may know that it was he - who was moved to do it - for their sake. Perhaps less a unexplained (and perhaps miracle) for me - it is more of a very personal response directed to and meant for all those who prayed for my family. I am more in awe of how quickly, and in such an unusual way, in which God responded to all of you people and the others who prayed for my family. I am humbled not by what God has done �for me� but by what he has done for all of you who prayed for this.
I have a bunch of �thank you� cards to write. Nurses who hugged me when we found it shrunk. The doctor who stopped everything and called a confrence to find out what did not make sense instead of just 'doing what he was supposed to do'. Peole who went out of thier way to ask God to do something for my family. Medical pole who came from other floors to be with us because they knew my wife. The nurse and social worker who had been through cancer themselves and remained glued to me and my wife. Believe me - we did not advertise the fact that I might have had cancer! We kept is very low key. These people just began to show up! Coincidence?? Not on yer life. Nope - everything here defies the odds.
-ray