www.byzcath.org Forums General Discussions Town Hall I QUIT!

Well folks, I'm over it. I am tired of the abuse that one member on this forum continues to give to anyone who espouses any view contrary to his own. In his own words:

"djs and Don,

Do you guys have a persecution complex? I'm just wondering, not judging. But then, would you recognize it if you did? I asked one woman when she first became an alcoholic. She said she wasn't an alcoholic. She had already nearly killed herself three times while drunk as a skunk. She was very close to me. She eventually died of complications due to alcohol poinsoning including alcohol induced dimentia.

Self delusion is a difficult thing to admit.

Dan Lauffer "

You are right, I'm not made for this kind of abuse. Dan, your posts are just like the kind of stuff I had to take from the Brother Superior who sexually abused me. He too was a controlling SOB who abused in so many ways (emotionally, sexually, physcially) anyone who didn't agree with him 100%...just as you do. I am sick of the way you have treated me, djs, Neil, Alex, Subdeacon Randy and others who won't goosestep in your jackbooted footsteps. If being a Byzantine "Christian" means being like you, I'd rather be a pagan. Most of the non-Christians I know are a lot more Christian in their behavior than you have been on this Forum. I pity you and those around you.

Administrator please remove me from this Forum's membership. I enjoyed the early years I was a member here and have met some decent people on here I can call friends, but the past year or so the personal attacks and abuse have gotten to be too much for me. I hope in time you can regain control of this Forum and return it to a place where all people are made to feel welcome to express their thoughts and opinions freely about any topic.

To those who have shown me much love and respect over the years, I thank you and continue to ask your prayers. Please keep in touch.

Don in Kansas

Dear Don,

Oh please reconsider

I and I am sure many others will miss you badly

Anhelyna

Dear Don,
The horrific quote you provide from someone's posting is just that - horrific. But I'd not even seen it until just now, which perhaps indicates that it's possible to participate in the forum without being constantly exposed to such invective. If I've abused you in any way at all, I ask your pardon and I also ask you to believe that such was not my intention - one of the dangers of the Internet is that it become easier to give offense inadvertently, so I must try to be more careful. Anyway, please don't go away. Good Lent!
Incognitus

Don,

If he's still lurking, I am sorry that my post caused you pain. The reason I recognize your affliction is because the woman I mentioned was my mother. Abuse, whether sexual or alcohol, can cause terrible problems in a person. I'm sorry that you saw your abuser in me, but I don't think that it is realistic.

BTW I don't ever recall even disagreeing with Alex.

Dan Lauffer

Dear Don,

I am sorry that I was unable to reply to your posting last night after I posted to the thread on the USCCB.

I should have. Your evident pain was real to me all night as I tried to sleep.

I hope that you will reconsider and remain among us. You have contributed much here in what you say and in what you do for others. You have supported me personally during a difficult period here and I have never forgotten.

You and djs deserve better than you received!

I hope and pray that your pain dissipates quickly and that you can rejoin us soon.

So stay, please.

Steve

Don, I'm sorry too. Dan is a bully, plain and simple. Even his so-called apology was nothing more than blameshifting...trying to make you take responsibility for his abuse. But then, abusers usually do that and refuse to admit they are the ones with the problem. I hope you will stay around, but I can understand that as long as Dan continues insult and belittle folks the way he does, you won't feel comfortable participating on the Forum. God bless you dear brother and may He grant you healing. Moe

Don,

I think you have acted with Christian charity and love in everything you have said on the Forum. I know that many around here respect you for this.

I must concur that Dan has (unintentionally, I suppose) offended me many a time, and now, as a result, I'm a little gunshy of even directing a post toward him at all. As much as I would like you to stay, you should leave if it's hurting you spiritually. Nothing is more important than the wellbeing of your soul, and you shouldn't jeopardize that. Nonetheless, I hope that you will return soon!! You are in my prayers. Have a blessed Great Fast.

Respectfully,
Logos Teen

Brother Don,

Christian brotherly charity,forgive our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.

I am sure all brethern will do the same.

james

On a positive note:
Moe and Teen writing in one accord.

We should also try to bear in mind the comment of incognitus. In real life we rely on non-verbal expressions and real-time repartee to attach intent and personality to our words. Little of this is conveyed in written communication, apart from great - and/or voluminous (e.g., Alex) - writers.

Since it seems that no one is coming to Dan's defense on this issue, I will. Dan, I know I've recently disagreed with you on a recent topic, but you've never said anything that has offended me. Your a man who feels strongly about what you believe in and I respect you for that.I've noticed that you've frequently butted heads with others on this forum who always seem to be on the ultra liberal side of issues, and I'll never fault you for that.

Moe,

I thought for sure you were finally confessing your own sins. I pray for his healing as well. No one has experienced anothers pain. I think you are making a mistake by implying that you do.

How you have treated others in the past seems awfully much like bullying. Perhaps it wasn't taken that way by you, but that is as it was.

Anyway, I think Satan is having fun with all of us this week. I pray that your Divine Liturgy was as inspiring to you as it was to me.

Dan Lauffer

Lawrence,

Thank you. If I do offend unnecessarily I do apologize. I do take issue with people who seem to not respect deeply held devotion to Christ. I do take issue with those you call liberal, though I think "secular" is a better word.

I do feel great sorrow for those who have really suffered, as Don has, at the hands of people whom they trusted.

I would wish that we could all be free from reading our own frailties into others remarks but I don't know how that gets accomplished.

Some day, before heaven, I hope that we can meet face to face.

Dan Lauffer

Dear brother Don,

As has been alluded to by others, this one dimensional medium can distort our best efforts at communicating. The words are there but the sense of the comment is lost.

I myself have inadvertantly offended many here, (for which I hope I will be forgiven) because we are not talking face to face and I sometimes write in the same style I would speak to you over a cup of coffee. Consider all of the backgrounds, regions, neighborhoods and lifestyles that are all converging here, it is easy for us to open our mouths wide and insert a foot or two, I've done it.

Your voice is important to us here, we do not expect to agree in everything, but that's Ok. Often you put into words things I cannot say myself, and I am glad to read them. I hope that after you have reflected a bit you will find it in your heart to forgive us and rejoin your friends here at the board.

In Christ,
Michael

Shlomo Lkhoolkhoon,
I too will come to both Dan and Don's defence.

First, Don do what is right for you. Sometimes we all need to step back so that we do not give ourselves over to sin.

Dan, like St. Paul is zealous in his beliefs. We need to understand that, and work around it. Also, we need to tell him, or any of us when we have offended you. So that it does not build up to a point of having to leave.

We do not have to take on unnessary suffering. If we approach each other as brothers and sisters in the Lord, then we can lovely tell others when they have hurt us, and they can lovely ask for foregiveness.

Poosh BaShlomo Lkhoolkhoon,
Yuhannon

Dan,

on another thread you accused me (mistakenly, I might add):

In one regard, you are correct, I do not know you. I would never consider you a hateful ogre. (Shrek was one of my favorite movies )

At first, I thought your comment to djs and Don were attacks ad hominem. Now you justify your remarks by considering yourself qualified to diagnose djs and Don as having a "persecution complex"? I don't know if you are licensed in the field of human behavior, but if you are, your remarks are at best imprudent.