www.byzcath.org Forums General Discussions Town Hall just for a laugh

This thread is wonderful - a real tonic.

I wonder if the Admin would consider making it a wee Forum on its own. After all Clown Doctors are now in Hospitals as they recognise that laughter is good for us. :p

Just a thought

Angela - who really enjoys a good laugh

Dear Friends:

As I commiserate with Anthony Dragani's predicament at the EWTN Forum and also take full measure of the unenviable position of our own Administrator here, I am reminded of this story:


The boy rode on the donkey and the old man walked. As they went along, they passed some people who remarked that it was a shame the old man was walking and the boy was riding. The old man and the boy thought, maybe, the critics were right so they changed positions.

Later, they passed some people who remarked: "What a shame, he makes that little boy walk!" They then decided they both would walk!

Soon they passed some more people who thought both were stupid to walk when they had a decent donkey to ride. So, they both rode the donkey.

Now they passed some people that shamed them by saying how awful to put such a load on a poor donkey. The boy and the old man thought they were probably right, so they decided to carry the donkey.

As they crossed a bridge, they lost grip on the animal and it fell into the river and drowned!

The moral of the story?

If you try to please everyone, you might as well kiss your ass good-bye!


Cheers!

A young boy finally gets up the nerve to question his very noticeably pregnant mother about her large girth.

"Mommy, why are you so fat?"

The mother, a little unsure, finally answers: "There's a baby inside."

"Really? Where did you get it?" asks the boy...

"Well, your Daddy gave it to me." But feeling uncomfortable she quickly exits the room so the boy looks for his father.

"Daddy, did you give a baby to Mommy?"

Surprised, the Father sheepishly answers: "Why - yes I did."

So the boy responds:

"Don't give her any more - she eats them!"

YOU MIGHT BE UKRAINIAN IF.


You say this to start a fight.


1) "My Baba's pyrohy are better than your Baba's pyrohy!"

2) "My dance ensemble is better than your dance ensemble!"

3) Against: Plast: "Nice Handerchief"
CYM: "Nice Tie"
ODUM: "Who?"

4) "You call that a cross stitch?"

5) "Only nerds play the accordions!"

6) "Oh, your family is from THE Ukraine. So you're Russian, right?" (instant death)


Food.

1) You can incorporate fried onions into every meal.

2) You can't imagine life without sour cream.

3) You scoff at English people's 5 course Christmas Dinner.

4) Kovbassa is present at every meal.

Events.

1) 2-bed non-smoking hotel room translates into 10 people and a wet towel over the smoke alarm.

2) You can't find Nebraska on the map but you can describe 5 ways to get to Dauphin under every possible weather condition.

3) You've justified skipping classes/work so you can take a road trip to a zabava half way across North America.

4) You've had to give up your shower rights to ice and beer in the tub of your Malanka hotel room.

5) Your tent for Dauphin Fest is smaller than your bedroom but still manages to fit 8-10 people.

6) You stay up all weekend at Dauphin Fest, don't shower (except for jaunts to the "crick"), drink heavily, eat even more, and no one there thinks you are any different from them.

General Life.

1) You impulsively yell "To nash!" whenever you see Wayne Gretzky appear on the TV screen.

2) Your history prof cowers at your knowledge of Eastern European history.

3) You hang your head in shame after finding out that Michael Bolton is half Ukrainian.

4) You think the power of the Internet is nothing compared to the BBC (Baba Babi Ckazala).

5) If you've forgotten the name of the person you hooked up with in a fit of drunken passion, never fear. Baba will know.

6) Before you start dating someone you double check with your Baba to make sure you're not related.

7) You've seen the blank expression on a non-Ukrainian's face after having spent the last hour and a half trying to explain what a zabava is.

8) You've caught yourself "air bandura-ing" to your favorite Ukrainian Folk CD.

Religion.

1) You've hit someone with a switch of pussy willow in a fit of religious fervor.

2) If you think that Halloween is bad, try getting someone to answer the door during Kolyada season!

3) You LOVE those surprise "I've come to bless the house" visits by the priest.

4) You've confessed your sins to the priest you were drinking with the night before.

Physical Activities.

1) The local folk dance instructor is revered as a god.

2) You've made a fashion statement by wearing your sharavary to school one day.

3) You've spent four hours doing your hair/makeup/costume for a five minute dance.

4) If you can't play soccer, tennis, volleyball, or ski by the time you are five, you'll be left to die in the wilderness.

5) You consider the polka to be the best form of aerobic exercise.

[ 08-27-2002: Message edited by: Fr. Deacon James ]