www.byzcath.org Forums General Discussions Town Hall Pedophilia, what should be done?

Dear Brethren,

I pray for the healing of all who have been victims.

The civil society will do or not do according to its whims. We know "the world's" response to abortion, sodomy etc. Just legalize it and the problem goes away.

However, the Church has sacred canons that reflect her timeless wisdom. In these canons it is clear that such crimes are to be met with:

1. Permanent deposition of the cleric from all clerical duties and responsibilities. The cleric is usually not excommunicated for the first offense, but is most definitely laicized.

2. The lay perpetrator suffers a period of excommunication which could be up to 20 years for each offense and is expected to engage in penitential disciplines that could include compensation (however inadequate that would ultimately be) to the victim. Penitents may have their period of excommunication lessened when it is clear to the presiding bishop that the repentance has taken root and born fruit in the perpetrator's heart.

When the bishop is part of the conspiracy of silence, just pray to God, for our God is a God of loving mercy, but also a God of terrible justice.


With love in Christ,
Andrew

Well this discussion did not start out talking about abusive clergy. But what Don from Kansas suffered is very difficult. My heart reaches out to you Don. But, healing can and does take place.

I was abused by protestant clergy, you aren't hearing anything about the thousands upon thousands of children abused by them and the many thousands of clergy doing it. It just infuriates me when we have maybe 1% of our clergy which has done this, and of course just one is one too many, continuoulsy chased after, when protestants get off free. And those priest that have done it are and were homosexuals or pedifiles who should never have been here, but were allowed in by liberal minded seminaries to start with.

I am healed and whole, it is forgiveness on our part that allows us to be set free. I am not just talking just about myself, but also of other children who were abused by their protestant ministers that I personally know. That is the way healing comes, and that is the way it came for all of us that I know have been abused. The memories may linger but are less vivid and decress in the times that they surface, but the pain leaves.

I would offer to anyone who is suffering from sexual abuse to, at the moment of elevation of the Eucharist, offer your pain and torment to Jesus. Tell the thoughts and pain to leave or you will do it continuoulsy at the elevation until it does. This may sound odd, but you will find releif and be able to forgive. I did. Persevere!

Also, I agree with Nicky's Baba. For those who continually act upon the desire and problem, have the courts order removal of the part that enables them to perform the abuse. Then their suffering will be complete. God forgive me! Maybe through it they can repent and be brought to conversion through the only Ture Love and completely fulfilling love they will ever know, Jesus Christ.

Then, the important part of this type of suffering is to allow God to use you to help in the healing of others. Don't be afraid or ashamed because they need to hear about Jesus.

Here is a pretty balanced article on the subject
http://www.hollandsentinel.com/stories/040602/rel_040602027.shtml

This is full of information. The last few lines are directly about Baptists. I was one.
http://www.hollandsentinel.com/stories/040602/rel_040602027.shtml

Oh, Most Holy Theotokos save us!

Forgive my rantings,
Rose

Don:

I'll commit to praying for your healing in God's good time. He has sent a therapist across your pilgrim path and I pray that through the Grace of God, this person, and your own prayers and struggle that you will some day be healed. Scarred, yes, but I will continue to pray for your complete healing.

Rose:

I will also continue to pray for your pain to be lessened by God's Grace and those who support you in your own pilgrim journey.

I had a neighbor whose son was raped by another, older boy when he was twelve years old. I learned this sad tale after I had been a friend to this young man over about eleven years. We had shared an interest in refinishing antique furniture and often traded advice and techniques. One evening when we were talking he warned me about this other person--now a man--since my own son was at that time approaching his twelfth birthday. I was stunned and have remained open to listening to his pain. He hasn't yet been able to deal with this issue with a therapist and is in need of our prayers--as are so many others whom God alone knows are out there and have yet to deal with their own pain. He has also never been able to form a lasting intimate relationship with anyone and he is now forty years of age. Apparently this is not uncommon, since I read of a similar story in the newspaper this morning related by a man in his sixties who has the same trauma in his past.

I cannot understand abusing a child. I see children as gifts of God Himself who are given to us to nurture, protect, encourage, and love. I guess I'm an old softy but I will never get over the sadness at just seeing a child cry because he/she is in pain--skinned knee or whatever. And this is so much more devastating. The psychological and emotional scars can be much deeper and more long lasting.

I believe that the approach, however, has to be broader than just a focus on fighting this single manifestation of our culture's sexual problems. We have had almost two generations of a "let it all hang out" and "anything goes" approach to the great gift of sexuality. I just read an article that quoted our Secretary of State, Colin Powell, encouraging young people on MTV to ignore parental and religious taboos concerning their sexuality and its expression. And this seems to be so common among those in the media, government, and other high profile positions in our societies. Do anything you want with whomever you want and just be safe about it.

It seems to me that we need to address pornography and all the other expressions of sexual perversion that demean people--women, children, young people. We need to get into our churches and express our theology that human beings are special, lifted up by the Incarnation, and not just a bunch of animals driven by the basest of instincts. We need to learn to treat each other with respect, though that is something that is often ignored in the slide of our western culture into a neo-pagan atmosphere.

The Church was born into this type of world and we seem to be returning to the same atmosphere. We need strong leadership and we ought not to expect all of it to come from our clergy. We must learn what we are about, what it is we believe, and then not be afraid to speak and act it. Each of us can leaven the environment that we live and work in. My children know that when they return from university that there are still words and expressions that they may have become used to but that are still not tolerated in the old man's house. I will tell you, too, that I am not afraid to tell people in the workplace that off-color jokes and stories are not something I find amusing and I usually ask that people refrain from sharing with me. It might be a little tense at first, but people need to know who and what I am. Do I get scarred by this type of behavior? Sure thing! Do I let it bother me? Not much! Jesus took the scourges and didn't open His Mouth. Look to Him and His suffering. And do as Rose suggests--offer it to the Father with His Son at the Liturgy where we get the strength to be the different people we are called to be.

I commit to you who are in pain that I will add an intercession to the daily intercession I use for you and all those who suffer and have suffered.

May the Lord heal in you that which is infirm and broken.

BOB

I know persons, like Don, gripped by pain caused by abuse of trust and mystery entrusted by God for the service for others. It seems to me that I can only stand silently by and witness love by my presence and prayers for those abused.

Yet, I know some of those called to service in the Church who are accused of abusing trust and grace entrusted to them by God. It seems to me that I can only stand silently and witness love by my presence and prayers for the abusers.

The horror and the challenge is that they are all my brothers and sisters and even some of them spiritual fathers and mothers.

This is a situation full of deep sorrow and anguish. Action must be taken. We can express our outrage and urge punishments. The human tragedy is overwhelming and calls out for remedy.

The state must do what it can to protect our young and others who are victims of abuse. The authorities in the Churches and other institutions must cooperate in that effort. We must struggle to find a way to bring healing.

I join you all in prayer for all of them and for all of us.

Steve

Dear Theophan and others,

Thanks, I hope I didn't give the wrong impression.

I truly feel for Dons hurt, and I will continue praying for him and others. An especially for cradle Catholics, it must even be more difficult. I think it is especially hard for us in the Church because we have placed our priest on pedistals and we never expect them to fall. We are truly blessed with so many very wonderful men of God who give their lives totally to God, just for us! What a blessing, it is mind boggleing. There are only a few who have tried to rot the whole basket.

God has truly been able to set me free from it, so I am not suffering. I just get upset with everything hitting our Catholic faith, and our Protestant brothern skating by as if nothing ever happens to them.

The Catholic Church is under attack!

The world does not want to see it as it is, it stands unchangeable for the truths of Christ. I can't help but believe this is just one more way, kind of like the pro-death movement that underminds this country, that the Church is being underminded.

The apparitions of LaSalette France are interesting in regards to this matter.

God bless you all and Don my heart goes out to you and all who are suffering the mistreatment of man! Thank you so much for persevering. You are not only fighting a battle of the flesh, but you are fighting a battle against the darkness of this world.

Rose