www.byzcath.org Forums General Discussions Town Hall St Valentine's Day

Sharon,

And candy just puts on the pounds!

Someone here at work was asking if we thought it would be ok to give his wife a new mixer for Valentine's day. Of course, the other girls said no. I said it depends on what she's like. I've asked my husband to get me a bead caddy filled with beads, that's up for auction on eBay for $35! Not very romantic, but it's something I'll use almost daily - and I'll think of him every time I do!

Tammy

Dear Friends,

Well, I've learned a lot from reading here!

I think that it is possible for Christians to discuss these things openly - it is a part of our lives, after all.

Rather than the "hush-hush" Victorian attitude (which is Protestant, anyway), we surely can talk about such intimate things - otherwise we leave the area of sexuality to the unChristian secular world and to its definitions and understandings.

I agree with Sharon (even though she doesn't find me attractive . . .sniff . . . ) that couples need to do things in a mutually consensual way while being open to each other's feelings.

Divorce is a fact of life for Catholics in North America . . .sorry, "annulments!"

I think that one reason for this is that Catholics have no idea about what real intimacy is all about and that one "gets out" of one's sexual expression within marriage what one brings to it.

As my RC sociology prof used to say, "When married Catholics tell me they have no love in their relationship, I tell them - then MAKE LOVE!"

I do go to Victoria's Secret stores with my wife and help her choose what we both think is appropriate.

Things like romantically-scented massage oils, body chocolate and other inventions can be enjoyed by those who want to enjoy them.

And to be a Christian means to share deep intimacy, both physical and spiritual, with one's spouse and to witness to a world steeped in perverse sexuality that it is a gift from God, meant to be enjoyed, but within the bounds of holy matrimony.

And I think sexual relationships, although not the full sexual expression of it which is intercourse or acts that tempt one toward it, can exist outside of marriage.

We exude sexuality all the time.

Even the Pope, when he was younger, aroused more than just some suspicion when he would go about kissing young women on the brow during his visits.

There is something strong and vibrant about a young celibate who is not afraid of demonstrating his appreciation for feminine beauty and being sensitive to it - rather than trying to suppress it as unbecoming etc.

There is nothing wrong in any of this and it is our job as Christians to also witness to a Christian sensuality, sexuality and intimacy before a world that knows only the sadness of an overdone physical side to sex.

Alex

Alex, my very dear,

AMEN!

And you have one of the most attractive minds I've had the pleasure of meeting.


About this "romantic fragrance" thing though, they aren't particularly romantic if all they do is make one or more of the involved parties sneeze...


Sharon
(who bought her immune system Army Surplus )

Dear Alex,

My husband made a similar comment, when we were still in college and just friends, not dating yet.

That's one of the things that attracted me to him! That he could see beyond the raging hormones of youth and understand that we are sexual beings, and that our sexuality is a part of all our relationships.

Perhaps that is why the secular world gets involved in wife-swapping and such. For them it's all or nothing, and they can't see anything other than the physical act.

Also, one of my husband's favorite topics is that the Song of Solomon is God's sexual expression of love toward His Bride. Some of the imagery there was the OT equivalent of Frederick's!

We are made in God's image, and our sexuality is a part of that. We need to stop thinking of it as "dirty". I understood your comment of "naughty" in the spirit it was written - not that you actually thought there was anything WRONG with it, like others here seemed to imply!

Tammy

Dear Mother Sharon,

Now I know how you got to be such a happy mother . . . !

If you can bottle your insights, you can make a million!

Alex

Dear Tammy,

Your husband is O.K.!!

As for the Song of Solomon, the Ethiopian Church reads it through as a liturgical prayer each week, on Sundays, as part of their recitation of the Psalter!

It is a brilliant, inspired prayer that can, in my view, also teach husbands and wives how to be poetically and romantically in love with one another on a high spiritual plane.

It is fecund and rich in sensuality as well - and there`s nothing wrong with that!

We Catholics should get away from the old perception of Catholic sexuality that everything is forbidden . . . until it becomes mandatory!

Alex

Be thankful you're not dating some the non-believing, self obssesed guys I work with...there ARE worse things then being single..consider the women who will spend the 14th in a battered women's shelter, or worse the ones who should but are still w/ thier abuser.

I believe 2 of the biggest lies our culture tells us are: "There's someone for everyone" (Then why are some people called to monasticim and other vocations that preclude marriage?) and "You're nobody until somebody loves you" (I guess Mother Theresa was just a big "nobody" then).

Originally posted by Alex, The Fecund:

This could have been with you, Easterners, but I don't recall Sr. Euthanasia admonishing us, Westerners!

AmdG

FOR GUYS only:
After the Godivia chockies are eaten and the flowers have wilted...
Check out http://www.e5men.org/

I've been fasting with this group for about 6 mos. and it has greatley enhanced my prayer life. If you sign up w/ them, they email you a monthly reminder, a brief mediation and tips on fasting. And that's it..no other email and they don't share your address w/ other groups. So take a look and consider it

DAVID wrote:"...How to celebrate Valentine's day? ..."

I plan on curling up with half dozen eggs and my pysanky tools for part of the evening and then with my INDIANA JONES DVD's and a bag of MOVIE TIME POPCORN, EXTRA BUTTER...

mark

I agree wholeheartedly! I meant to respond to TheistGal yesterday and didn't get to it.

Be your own Valentine! Treat yourself to dinner and a movie! At least it's on a Saturday this year, so you don't have to feel weird about everyone getting flowers at work, while your desk is empty.

The whole world loves Mother Theresa! (Well, maybe not the WHOLE world...) You don't have to have romantic involvement to be loved...

Dear David,

Fasting can apparently increase one's sexual appetite.

Thanks for the reminder!

Alex

Dear Amado the Amorous,

Actually, romantic love is one area where "Latin mentality" can be a great help, especially to Byzantines!

When in Rome, and all that . . .

Happy Valentine's Day, Big Guy!

(I won't expand on that . . .)

Alex

Hahahahaha! ROFL!

No, actually some acts are intrinsically disordered, even [perhaps especially] within marriage. As the Church teaches, every sexual act must be open by its nature to new life.