www.byzcath.org Forums General Discussions Town Hall A different form of relics ?

modern day relics [larknews.com]

Woman embalmed, bronzed in favorite pew

MOSCOW, Idaho Longtime church-goer Gert Rizzoli was so devoted to her spot in the pew at Featherside Congregational church that when she passed away last month, her family received permission to bronze her body and set it in the pew. Now, to the consternation of some church members, her body is permanently located in the aisle seat she occupied every Sunday for forty years.
"She loved gazing at the pastor from that spot, being the first in her row to receive Communion, having quick access to the bathroom," says daughter Sofia. "It gave her a sense of deep, spiritual comfort."
But fellow church-goers also remember Gert's stiff response to anyone who tried to take her place. One man was shooed away by Gert on several occasions when he arrived early and inadvertently took her spot, he says. Now the bronze statue serves as an irritating reminder of the encounter.
"It's like she's still there defending her seat," he says.
When church members enter the sanctuary now, they can't help but catch the glare of light off of Gert's bronzed pate. Visitors find it inconvenient to climb over her, and children have stubbed their toes on her hardened shins.
"She was a Christ-like lady, except when it came to giving up that spot," says a family friend. "She had a real sense of her turf. To her, it was like the Israelites: Once you get land, you don't give it up."
Pastor Len Kerralt, who agreed to the odd memorial, looks upon Gert's frozen smile each Sunday from the pulpit.
"It's nice to know at least one person is enjoying the sermon," he quips. But others still mumble about the nuisance.
"What if more people request the same thing?" one woman asks. "Pretty soon the church will be filled with bronze statues."

OK - what's the next modernisation ?

Anhelyna

...And they curse iconography???

Dan L

OH MY!

Nechronism(sp) maybe? She must get a lot of talking too!

Pani Rose

I gather based upon the source that this is not to be taken seriously.

Dan L

There is another brilliant one on the left hand side of the page too


Rarely seen family attends Church two weeks in a row

CEDAR RAPIDS � A rarely seen family from a local neighborhood attended Hope Assembly two Sundays in a row, sending the pastoral staff and volunteers into a lather of hospitality and enthusiasm.
���The Duncan family, Mom, Dad and two kids, were spotted as they emerged from their Toyota Tundra. Greeters apprehended them at the front door, giving each a bulletin and a visitor pack, and assigning personal helpers to lead them to the sanctuary. Within minutes they were invited to a newcomers' dinner, a mid-week Bible study, a home group meeting and a Saturday softball game. One greeter gave the father his gold watch when he mentioned he'd forgotten his at home, and a female greeter hugged the mother and promised they would become "bestest, bestest friends."
���In a backroom, staff members high-fived each other and offered mutual congratulations.
���"Did you see? That visiting family came back!" said one associate pastor after the service. "I bet the funny announcements did it. Or the right mix of worship music. Maybe the video monitoring system in the nursery."
���But the head greeter says the Duncan family seemed "confused" and mentioned they only came because they mis-read the Lent schedule.
���"I don't have the heart to tell the staff," the greeter said. "We'll see if they're here next week. Maybe we came on too strong. I wonder if I can get my watch back."

I'm getting the feeling that I am reading The Onion Dome
:p

It seems all a spoof. Yet, I've seen this second incident happen many times. It is a humorous magazine and the articles are just close enough to reality to almost be believable.

People are funny.

Dan L

Honestly, I can't imagine this in our churches or any churches for all that matter!! All I can think is(if this isn't a joke of some kind) that she must have bequeathed a large financial legacy to that church in exchange for this? Nothing like 'savin' your place...

There's a series of commercials on TV that has a mother pointing to several headstones and saying that the kids father finally bored them to death with one of his stories. Maybe the bronzed lady was just bored to death with the sermons. As far as the family attending church two weeks in a row, a former pastor used to wish the congregation a merry Christmas every Easter. He then explained that he would not see some of the congregation again until the next Easter, so it was his only chance to give them Christmas greetings.

Reality check time. I just searched the yellow pages on-line for churches in Moscow, ID. There is no Featherside Congregational Church.... :rolleyes:

I should have 'got it' when I saw "Featherside" Would you believe that my husband and I had a discussion while driving to Church this morning about whether it is possible to have a body preserved and bronzed? Ha, ha, ha....hee, hee....Anhelyna, your post has brought a little more than usual humor in our day...thank-you.

ROFL.....

Mary Jo

just check the disclaimer [larknews.com]

OK - I'll admit it - I lifted it from elsewhere - after I had stopped laughing - and that took quite a while - then I started looking more closely at it , found the other item and carried on looking.

Any team that can produce that sort of stuff deserves our congratulations - maybe Church Bulletins can produce their own wee items from time to time like that , to make folk stop , laugh and think.

I'm glad you all had a happy Sunday

Anhelyna.

PS - isn't this a form of Evangelism ?

Yes, dear lady, this is a form of evangelism. Your humor may touch the heart and lift a few cares more than all the dour pronouncements from any pulpit. Glad you are here.
Charles

Despite the spurious nature of the story, it reminded me of another seated statue....

If you visit the Holy Land Franciscans in Washington DC (walking distance from the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception, accessible by Metro) you will see a statue seated in the area where visitors wait for tours.

Seems one of the friars (name escapes me) after years and years and years, became too feeble to carry on regular duties, so every morning one of the younger, more strapping brothers would carry him down the stairs, and he'd sit in the waiting area all day talking with the visiting pilgrims. He loved them, and they loved him. When he finally went to God, the waiting area seemed empty, so they put a statue of him back there, seated in his favorite chair. I thought it was a loving thing to do.

Cheers,

Sharon

(who thinks the Onion Dome and Lark news & suchlike are perfect for those of us who grew up on Mad Magazine....)

Sharon, I love the Onion Dome and Mad Magazine. It's too bad Alfred E. Newman isn't running for president again. He might be a better choice than either party is giving us.

I once heard a story about a priest who was giving his sermon and noticed someone in the front pew sleeping. He kindly asked the parishoner sitting next to the sleeping beauty to wake her up.

The parishoner confidently replied "I'm not the one who put her to sleep, you wake her up"