www.byzcath.org Forums General Discussions Town Hall Funny: Noah and the year that passed

In the year 2005, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the United
States, and said, "Once again, the earth has become wicked and
over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me.

Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good
humans."

He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, "You have 6 months to build the Ark
before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights."

Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard -
but no Ark.

"Noah!" He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?"

"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah, "but things have changed. I needed a
building permit. I've been arguing with the inspector about the need for a
sprinkler system. My neighbors claim that I've violated the neighborhood
zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding the height
limitations. We had to go to the Development Appeal Board for a decision.

Then the Department of Transportation demanded a bond be posted for the
future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear
the passage for the Ark's move to the sea. I told them that the sea would be
coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it.

Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local trees
in order to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the environmentalists
that I needed the wood to save the owls - but no go!

When I started gathering the animals, an animal rights group sued me.

They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They
argued the accommodation was too restrictive, and it was cruel and inhumane
to put so many animals in a confined space.

Then the EPA ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted an
environmental impact study on your proposed flood.

I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on
how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building crew.

Immigration and Naturalization is checking the green-card status of most of
the people who want to work.
The trades unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire only
Union workers with Ark-building experience.

To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to
leave the country illegally with endangered species.

So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to finish
this Ark."

Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched
across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean you're not
going to destroy the world?"

"No," said the Lord. "The government beat me to it."

That's it for now.

The Noah "funny" is clever and entertaining.

You know what Noah's wife's name is?

Joan of Arc!

Joan of Arc

Gotta love it!

cute!

Alice, having helped my husband in the building business for years...I do appreciate this. In every jest there is truth.

Thanks. Blessings for 2006.

Porter.

Yes, very funny; bureaucracy is evil in all its forms [ever see the Terry Gilliam film "Brazil"]?
However, to say the Lord is going to destroy the world because it is "overpopulated" is odd, and an unconscious bow to the secularist worldview.
-Daniel, who takes even jokes seriously

Dear Daniel,

Happy and blessed new year to you!

I didn't write that joke, but you are right, that was an odd assumption about overpopulation....

Thanks for pointing it out.

In any case, how about we just say 'whatever', shrug our shoulders and let it go?

Personally, I think that life is too short to not laugh a little every once in a while.

God bless,
Alice

P.S. I do promise you, however, that if I ever pass it on again, I will omit the 'over-population' part!

Whatever, shrug, gone.
Happy New Year Alice....
-D