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#197042 11/10/04 02:10 PM
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Taken from the Scottish Daily Mail 16th September 2004

The following statements about the Bible were written by children in a school test.

In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the world so he took the Sabbath off.

Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark. Noah built an ark and the animals came on in pears.

Lot's wife was a pillar of salt during the day but was a ball of fire in during the night.

The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with unsympathetic Genitals.

Sampson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like Delilah.

Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the Apostles.

The Egyptians were all drowned the dessert. Afterwards, Moses went up Mount Cyanide to get the ten amendments.

The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.

The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.

Moses died before he reached Canada.

The greatest miracle of the Bible was when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him.

David was a Hebrew King who was skilled at playing the liar.

Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.

When Mary heard she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna Carta.

Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.

St. John the blacksmith, dumped water on his head.

It was a miracle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get the tombstone off the entrance.

The people who followed the lord were called the 12 decibels.

St Paul preached holy acrimony, which is another name for marriage.

Christians have only one spouse. This is called monotony.

#197043 11/10/04 02:24 PM
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hmm -

Do tell has that wonderful TV show of a wee while back reached the other side of the Pond " One foot in the Grave " with that brilliant character Richard Wilson in the lead role ?

In "Victor"'s own words

I do not believe it , I simply do not believe it
[Linked Image]

Anhelyna

#197044 11/10/04 03:51 PM
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Dear Intrigued:

biggrin biggrin biggrin

Kids do say the darndest things!

Amado

#197045 11/10/04 04:07 PM
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That's funny. biggrin

#197046 11/17/04 03:39 PM
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biggrin biggrin biggrin biggrin to all....

"The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with unsympathetic Genitals."

Anton

#197047 11/17/04 04:44 PM
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Quote
Originally posted by AntonI:
biggrin biggrin biggrin biggrin to all....

"The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with unsympathetic Genitals."

Anton
ROFL biggrin

#197048 11/17/04 05:12 PM
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That must have been Abram's problem! :rolleyes:


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