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Dec 29th, 2019
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Joined: Nov 2005
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Catholic Gyoza Member
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OP
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A man gets a call from his doctor one day:
The doctor tells him, "I've got bad news and worse news for you, which do you want first?"
The man says, "Well, give me the bad news first."
The doctor says, "You have 24 hours to live."
"What's the worse news?" the man asks.
"I forgot to call you yesterday."
Courtesy of Larry the Cable Guy.
Last edited by Dr. Eric; 06/03/07 09:00 PM.
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Then there was the time the doctor told his patient "Sir, you are as sound as a dollar!"
The patient promptly had a heart attack and died.
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A woman takes her husband to a psychiatrist. "Doctor, my husband thinks he's a dog," she says.
"Let's get you on the couch sir and we'll talk," the doctor says. The man gets on the couch. "GET DOWN!!!" the wife yells! The psychiatrist looks perplexed.  "He's not allowed on the couch!" she explains.
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Doc, The first one was good, don't press your luck.   In IC XC, Father Anthony+
Everyone baptized into Christ should pass progressively through all the stages of Christ's own life, for in baptism he receives the power so to progress, and through the commandments he can discover and learn how to accomplish such progression. - Saint Gregory of Sinai
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What??? My patients love that last one!
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Yes, I agree w/Father Anthony...the first one was very good, the second-- not so good.
Alice
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So Larry the Cable Guy is funnier than John Houseman. 
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That about sums it up. You really need to explore more for your material. In IC XC, Father Anthony+
Everyone baptized into Christ should pass progressively through all the stages of Christ's own life, for in baptism he receives the power so to progress, and through the commandments he can discover and learn how to accomplish such progression. - Saint Gregory of Sinai
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I find the both jokes as odd.
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I find the both jokes as odd. It is probably a cultural thing. Different cultures have different humour.
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Patient: How much to have this tooth pulled?
Dentist: $90.00.
Patient: $90.00 for just a few minutes work???
Dentist: I can extract it very slowly if you like.
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Doc, Give it up before the AMA comes after you.  In IC XC, Father Anthony+
Everyone baptized into Christ should pass progressively through all the stages of Christ's own life, for in baptism he receives the power so to progress, and through the commandments he can discover and learn how to accomplish such progression. - Saint Gregory of Sinai
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Doctor: Nurse, how is that little boy doing, the one who swallowed ten quarters?
Nurse: No change yet.
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John Member
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Dr. Eric,
You do realize that should the AMA or ADA subpoena us looking for information about you we will have to provide them with all the information in our records, including the jokes you have posted?
Admin
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A SHORT HISTORY OF MEDICINE:
"Doctor, I have an ear ache."
2000 B.C. - "Here, eat this root."
1000 B.C. - "That root is heathen, say this prayer."
1850 A.D. - "That prayer is superstition, drink this potion."
1940 A.D. - "That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill."
1985 A.D. - "That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic."
2000 A.D. - "That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root!"
Monomakh
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Doctor: Nurse, how is that little boy doing, the one who swallowed ten quarters?
Nurse: No change yet. I thought it was funny. 
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Originally Posted By: Marian
I find the both jokes as odd.
It is probably a cultural thing. Different cultures have different humour. Brother Eric, Some of your jokes are understood of this soul, some not. It is a matter of cultural perspectives, no doubt. However, I smiled. Thank you. The humour of quality is always welcome. I do not know why or how, but it is a part of our nature. Thinking of this topic and posts, I remembered the novel of Umberto Eco, the Name of the Rose. Marian+
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Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.
Someone call the janitor - we're going to need a mop.
"Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness!"
Spot! Spot! Come back with that! Bad Dog!
Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?
Hand me that...uh...that...uh.....thingie.
Oh no! I just lost my Rolex.
Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?
Damn, there go the lights again...
"You know, there's big money in kidneys. Heck, the guy's got two of them."
Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!
Could you stop that thing from beating; it's throwing my concentration off.
What do you mean he wasn't in for a sex change...!
Anyone see where I left that scalpel?
This patient has already had some kids, am I correct?
Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donor card?
Don't worry; I think it's sharp enough.
What do you mean "You want a divorce"!
She's gonna blow! Everyone take cover!!!
FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out of here!
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Orthodox domilsean Member
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Orthodox domilsean Member
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I personally enjoyed the lot! Thanks Dr. Eric!
Marian, how does it remind you of the Name of the Rose?
I love Eco, though I feel his earlier work is superior to his current stuff. I LOVED Baudolino -- everyone here should read that one to get a good West/East perspective! -- and Focault's Pendulum, but I've never been able to get through the Island of The Day Before.
But I digress....
Administrators, please allow MORE doctor jokes!
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