www.byzcath.org Forums General Discussions Town Hall FUNNY PHILOSOPHIES!

These were sent to me this morning, and I thought they were so cute that I would share them with my friends on the forum

Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself ~~"Lillian, you should have remained a virgin."
-- Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)

I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: "No good in a bed, but fine against a wall."
-- Eleanor Roosevelt

Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.
-- Mark Twain

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible.
-- George Burns

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.
- - Victor Borge

Be careful about reading health books.. You may die of a misprint.
-- Mark Twain

By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.-- Socrates

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. -- Groucho Marx

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol , caffeine, sugar and fat.-- Alex Levine

I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon.
Then it's time for my nap. -- Bob Hope

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
-- W.C. Fields

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.-- Will Rogers

Don't worry about avoiding temptation as you grow older, it will avoid you. -- Winston Churchill

Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty . but everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.-- Phyllis Diller

By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.
-- Billy Crystal

The cardiologist's diet: If it tastes good, spit it out!

Give me a sense of humor, Lord;
Give me the grace to see a joke,
To get some humor out of life,
And pass it on to other folk.
Amen!

"Don't worry about avoiding temptation as you grow older, it will avoid you."

Wit seems a lost art. I would vote for Churchill for President, I tend to have more respect for his language than any American President in our short history. It's a shame he politically misstepped and allowed the Socialists to come to power.

Terry

I am glad that you enjoyed what I posted. I thought it was just what was needed on a cloudy day!

Wit and humour are important.

Our good Father Serge Keleher has both, so they are still alive and well-- but then again the Irish are known for both!

Orthodox tend to have little sense of humour...it must have to do with their individual cultures. One Irish American Orthodox priest I used to know, lamented this often. He had been in both Slavic and Greek jurisdictions and lamented the lack of every day joy and humour they displayed in their personalities.

Southern Italians have humour.

Americans have humour. It is VERY rare to see a European statesman laugh or joke about anything publicly as our Presidents do, so I would give our Presidents a break.

However, the particular English wit of persons such as Winston Churchill, which brilliantly and cleverly uses the English language to its advantage, is lost in this country. Americans just don't master the English language the same way!.

Oh well!

Alice