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You Know You're Orthodox If...

(This pretty much crosses jurisdictional and ethnic lines except for two that did not apply to me--enjoy, it is very funny!)

� On Wednesdays and Fridays you eat Japanese food.
� You are more comfortable standing in church than sitting.
� You can suck/vacuum up the crumbs of bread out of your hand without coughing.
� You can sing ison to any song (and you know what an ison is� LoL).
� Lent to you means peanut butter, tofu, soy, lots and lots of pita bread and hummus, and services at least five times a week.
� You�re used to skipping breakfast on Sundays.
� On your first encounter with long words, you pronounce them stressing the �next to the next to last� syllable.
� You wonder why the Pope crosses himself backwards when you see him on TV.
� You wear comfortable shoes to church, because you know you�ll be standing a long, long time.
� To you, a �topless� gal is one without a headscarf.
� You get great deals on Easter candy. Except for this year.
� You spend time figuring out the best way to remove smoke stains from your ceiling and wax from your walls.
� Before you pray, you say a prayer.
� You don�t flinch when someone throws water at you.
� When you first tell people who ask what religion you are, at first they think you�re Jewish.
� You�re experienced at removing wax from clothing.
� The service routinely starts at least 15 minutes late and lasts 2 � hours � and nobody around you complains.
� You consider any service two hours or under short/regular.
� You know you�re in an Orthodox church when the priest says, �Let us complete our prayer to the Lord", and there�s still half an hour to go.
� At the end of Holy Week, you have rug burns on your forehead.
� Your Easter isn�t Easter without an all-night party (featuring 10 dishes of sausage with cheese).
� Your priest is married.
� You have seen all members of clergy in purple robes.
� You can differentiate between the eight different chanting tones.
� You typically celebrate a feast day by observing strict fasting.
� You celebrate feast days the night before.
� You address the City as Constantinople instead of Istanbul.
� You can say "Lord have mercy" 40 times without making a mistake.
More new features than ever. Check out the new AOL Mail!

Try this one: Before saying a prayer, you always say a prayer.

Fr. Serge

Dear good Father, Serge,

Ah, but you didn't read it well!

� Before you pray, you say a prayer.

You see-- they covered that one!

How could they not!?!?

In Christ,
Alice

LOL !!! That is so true ! When I heard that during the first time I went to Vespers, I started getting my coat. Oh, but I was wrong . . . so wrong . . . LOL

-- John

Not to mention at post-Paschal kneeling prayers.