www.byzcath.org Forums Faith & Christian Life Prayer Roommate Problems

Let it suffice to say that though my roommate and I are amicable towards each other our relationship is very very very strained most of the time. The niceties seem forced and though I have tried to make things easier by taking down my icon corner, talking only when needed, giving him space, etc. etc. nothing has seemed to work. On top of that my social life is rather stagnant and I'm kind of depressed. Please pray for me, I've never been quite as unhappy as I am know. My parents think everything is okay since I don't want to tell them otherwise, and my good friends all attend different schools so the most I can do is talk it out with them. In short I am frustrated lonely and feeling sorry for myself. Prayers please!

Lord have mercy!

Prayers!

I pray that your patient witness helps to change your roomates heart.

I believe that most schools allow you to change roomates if the two of you are not compatible. This cannot be the first time such things have happened at this school!

God bless,

Gordo

Is this a dorm-mate situation? I suffered that two years in a row with two fellas whose personalities were, to be charitbale, eccentric in ways that were largely NOT similar to my own simple (and admittedly difficult to live with) eccentriticies.

I ended up taking a part-time gig off campus (against my parent's hopes, but not against their orders) and getting involved with some social activities that left me only really sleeping and showring in my room.

Restaraunt work is what I ended up doing, and in addition to having some cash in my pocket nightly, I found that it was a boost to the social life as I made friends with co-workers, and enjoyed the social aspect of the work.

I would love to give you an answer as to how to magically make things agreeable and crack down the differences that seem to be leading to these frustrations. Honestly though, if there is no mutual interest in achieving that, there is little that can be done unilaterally to change it.

Without ignoring things, the best you can do is to not dwell on things either. Focussing on the good portion of your life is maybe the best strategy. Remember, you are roommates not spouses, there will be a time when you are NOT roommates (perhaps in less than a year?). Time will fly by or (drag on!) either way... By focusing on the good things, you give yourself the gift of some memories of a happy and productive time in the future.

Keep praying. I will do the same for you.

-Simple

Our Father, Who art in heaven,
Hallowed be Thy Name.
Thy Kingdom come.
Thy Will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil. Amen.

Thanks for the prayers and advice. I've thought of moving but I think this is something I need to sit out and learn from. I two really understanding friends here on campus and still talk with my friends from High School. I'm going to try and get involved with CUI BONO our student activist program (no flag burning), I have a couple friends in there and it would get me out of the room more frequently. Additionally I go off campus for my spiritual sustenance and that takes me away from the situation alot too. Please continue praying for me.

Prayers.

Maybe this prayer will help...

Christ my Lord, the Giver of light and wisdom, who opened the eyes of the blind man and transformed the fishermen into wise heralds and teachers of the gospel through the coming of the Holy Spirit, shine also in my mind the light of the grace of the Holy Spirit. Grant me discernment, understanding and wisdom in learning. Enable me to complete my assignments and to abound in every good work, for to You I give honor and glory. Amen.

Dear Anesti,

Your issue tends to come up a lot on Russian-language sites where there are questions put to Orthodox priests by students.

One woman said her room-mate complained about her praying out loud. The priest suggested she let it alone and even fulfill her rule of morning and night prayers using the prayer rope, saying the Prayer quitely to herself etc.

But having to take down the icon-corner . . .hmmmm . . . not good news and quite intolerant.

My wife went through a phase like that. Once I attached a religious medal of St Benedict to our dog's collar as he was ill.

She didn't talk to me about it, so I thought there was trouble. But recently when I thought I would just take the medal off, she snapped, "What are you doing? Don't take that off! Please don't!"

People can get used to anything, even to one's wife!

Alex

I wanted to thank everyone here for praying for me. Things are improving, slowly but hopefully they continue. I have a small icon corner in my room now, nothing like it was before. It's just an icon of the Holy Family, Our Lady of Tenderness, and The Crucifixion and it cannot be seen unless you turn around and put your face in the corner. It's not the most ideal situation but it will suffice. Also I have begun to take my prayers elsewhere and usually will go make my devotions at the local Greek Orthodox Church or the local Roman Rite parish. In doing so I am able to pray before Our Lord in the tabernacle daily and this gives me great comfort. Please continue to pray for me and my roommate and God Bless all of you for your concern!

I am glad that things are better!

I think that it is okay to be in secular situations and be discreet about our faith and respectful of the differences we all have in our pluralistic society. Sharing a small dorm room is a difficult situation under the best of circumstances.

God bless you,
Alice

Dear Anesti,

Perhaps this was meant to increase your prayer life and to be a blessing for your roommate?

Time will tell.

You should intercede for him and say his name out loud as your pray, as St John of Kronstadt has counselled us.

Alex

I feel a lot more in touch with God now, ironically. I am very excited because due to my frequenting the local Greek Orthodox Church I was able to find out that Bishop Kallistos Ware will be leading an Akathist to the Theotokos and speaking there on Friday February 29th and celebrating the Divine Liturgy there on Saturday. Needless to say I plan on going . I am also getting along better with my roommate so please keep praying! Thank you all so much for your help and encouragement.

I.H.G.

Enjoy! You are very lucky...as was my parish last year, when we were graced by His Grace ( )--he is a brilliant, witty, and very open hearted towards all Christians.

...Alice

Glory to God!