OK - time for a fun thread again
I found this recently and thought your reactions could be amusing
During the last holiday season, many individuals expressed concern over the seating arrangements in the church. In order for us to place you in a seat which will best suit you, we ask you to complete the following questionnaire and return it to the church office as soon as possible.
1. I would prefer to sit in the... (Check one:)
___ Talking section
___ No talking section
___ Snob section
2. If talking, which category do you prefer? (Indicate order of interest:)
___ General gossip
___ Specific gossip:
_____________________________________
___ The big priest
___ The little priest
___ How wonderful the former priest was
___ The chanter
___ The choir director
___ The Presbytera (Khouria, Matushka)
___ Fashion news
___ What others are wearing
___ What others are not wearing
___ Your neighbors
___ Your relatives
___ Your neighbors' relatives
___ Other: _______________________________
3. Which of the following would you like to be near for free professional advice?
___ Doctor
___ Dentist
___ Child psychiatrist
___ Mother in law
___ Podiatrist
___ Chiropractor
___ Stockbroker
___ Accountant
___ Lawyer
___ Real estate agent
___ Architect
___ Plumber
___ Buyer (Specify store: _______________________ )
___ Golf pro
___ Other: ____________________________
4. I want a seat located (Indicate order of priority:)
___ On the aisle
___ Near the exit
___ Near the window
___ Near the bathroom
___ Near my in-laws
___ As far away from my in-laws as possible
___ As far away from my ex-in-laws as possible
___ Near single men
___ Near available women
___ Where I can hear the choir
___ Where I cannot possibly hear the choir
___ Where no one can see/hear me talking during services
___ Where no one will notice me sleeping during services
___ Where no one can see/hear me talking or me sleeping during the sermon
(note: additional charge)
5. Please do not place me anywhere near the following people:
(Limit of six; if you require more space, you may wish to consider joining another congregation.)
_________________________ __________________________ ________________________ __________________________ _________________________ __________________________
Your name: _________________________________
Building fund pledge: __________________________
Slightly edited; Of course, those of you who worship without pews or chairs can, no doubt, stand each other.
