www.byzcath.org Forums General Discussions Town Hall Twisted

Yes, I know my sense of humor is twisted. I couldn't help smirking a bit over this one.

biting the hand... [news.com.au]

Worship of earthly things is hazardous to your soul.

And sometimes your body as well.

Thank you for that grin, Charles

"The zeal of Thy crocodile hath eaten me up"?

This should discourage some of our more quirky
brethren from taking up crocodile worship as a
gesture of inclusiveness.

What was a Moslem doing seeking blessings from
crocodiles, anyhow?

Am I the only one reminded of How the Elephant, o best beloved, Got Its Trunk?

ooooooooh it's a very very long time since I read that

Must go and find a copy

Perhaps he thought he found a priest, but the poser was a croc.

Does anyone remember singing this in summer camp as a kid?

"Oh she sailed away
on a bright and sunny day
on the back of a crocodile.
You see, said she,
he's as friendly as can be
I'll ride him down the Nile.
Well the croc winked his eye
as the lady said goodbye, wearing a happy smile!
At the end of the ride
the lady was inside
and the croc he wore a happy smile!(
He ate her all up)
The croc he wore a happy smile!
Yeah,man!"

Prophetic words out of the mouth of babes.Even 10 year olds know that there is nothing "friendly" about those aquatic kimodo dragons.
Edmac, I know imams don't do things like bless haunted houses or perform exorcisms, so in countries like Egypt, Muslims go to Christian monks and priests for those things and there's no problem with it because those types of occurences or needs are considered inferior to praising Allah, so it's okay to go to so-called "lesser" religions to fulfill those needs.It's possible that imams do not perform blessing ceremonies either, I"m not sure.IF that's the case, then folks like this may turn to lesser spiritual practices to have his spiritual needs met.

Never smile at a crocodile!

Fr. Serge

"This is a very unusual incident. Normally, the crocodiles are very friendly and do not harm people.''

This idiocy of this statement just kills me... Friendly crocodiles? And how, pray tell, do they know that? Their smile?

[Linked Image]

Face facts, buddy: crocks and gators are teeth with feet.

Oh yes, and remember that "friendly" little fellow from Orlando that smelled the Teriyaki Chicken cooking and decided to pay a visit?

I'm sure if they opened the door he would only have come in for a little bite...

[Linked Image]

No, I will not be seeking any crocodile blessings this year. Not even if one should ring my doorbell!

Fr. Deacon Daniel

Not to be a party pooper....I agree that it was incredibly stupid and ignorant of this man to seek the blessing of a 'crocodile', but let's not forget that he suffered a most horrific death...May God have mercy on his soul.

Alice

I take it for granted that this "news" story is someone's idea of a joke, on the presumption that no adult would voluntarily dive into a body of water to have any sort of "meaningful dialogue" with a crocodile. I also don't believe the story of Captain Hook and the crocodile with the (self-winding?) alarm clock. But I enjoy Disney's treatment of the story.

I did, however, qualify that in the above paragraph. When I was much younger, the Latin Bishop of New Orleans excommunicated Leander Perez (a local racist) because of his unusual social life - he would "invite" blacks whom he found annoying to come and be guest of honor for dinner in the alligator pits. If anyone did that to some poor man in India or anywhere else it would not be in the least humorous.

Fr. Serge

This story reminded me of an actual true story of a man who disappeared on a golf course somewhere in the U.S. a few years ago. Seems he played on ahead of his three comrades and they reached the clubhouse only to find he had not finished.

After a few days they somehow got permission to trap and kill a fifteen foot alligator who resided in a water trap on on of the holes of this course.

The very graphic pictures of what remained of the man as they dissected the alligator were posted on the internet.

Why people think these creatures are not dangerous is beyond me. And why they are protected when small children and house pets are known to disappear when they are allowed to freely roam in residential neighborhoods is beyond me.

BOB

Amen!

May his death be a lesson to others as well.

Fr. Deacon Daniel

Reminds me of the documentary Grizzly Man about a nice ex-druggie who lived among the bears and thought they were his friends. Not so much.

I know. You almost want to say, "What part of wild animal did you not understand?"

More like: "What part of 'that is a fearsome man eating and anything else eating crocodile and you don't go near it, no less seek its stupid blessing', do you not understand?!?"

What a horrific death. Lord have mercy!

The only "blessing" I can think of that has any particular connection with the crocodile is a nice set of luggage - but I think it has become illegal to use the crocodile skin for the making of leather.

Fr. Serge

I have ancestors who were Carolina Pentecostal snake handlers...

ssssstupid.

Fr. Deacon Daniel

....or a lovely handbag!!

Or a pair of shoes, for that matter - I don't care for alligator shoes (and have never worn them), but we live in pluralistic societies. Come to think of it, I've also seen alligator wallets.

Fr. Serge

Fr. Serge,

I would not mind a wallet, could you ship me one with some bills attached?

Terry

Large denomination bills, of course.

Very gladly - provided, of course, that you will pay the bills!

Fr. Serge

I can't accept your premise, Father.

Hawkins' Second Law is that, "There is no lower limit to human intelligence." It came from my experiences as an attorney.

In fact, it's so comprehensive, that I've forgotten the First Law, which I belive was subsumed by the second.

hawk

Must . . . resist . . .

(failed to resist)

The blond tourist in Florida? She asked where the alligators were, as she just *needed* a pair of alligator shoes.

As word spread, search parties set out for her. They saw her at the edge of a swamp, reaching in--but they were too far away.

She reached down, grabbed the tail, and whipped it out of the water--and then threw it over her shoulder in disgust. They noted that it landed in a *pile* of moaning alligators, and got close just in time to hear her grumble, "They can't allbe barefoot!"



hawk, ducking the wallet & bill jokes

Dear Dochawk - I like it! But then, I've always had a deplorable sense of humor!

Never smile at a crocodile!

Fr. Serge

I, too, like Fr.Serge, have a a deplorable sense of humor.
It probably comes from my being part Irish (Papist). The idea
of a heathen being gobbled up by a crococile whom he had
come to worship is to me utterly hilarious. He got exactly
and precisely what he paid for.

Edmac

This seems very mean-spirited and completely lacking in Christian charity. Perhaps this thread has outlasted its usefulness and should be closed.

Ryan