www.byzcath.org Forums General Discussions Town Hall Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?

To help you prepare for the Science Exam, the Faculty has prepared a study guide of answers to past exams.

This was emailed to me and I thought you would find it enjoyable.

Children's Science Exam Answers


Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.


Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.


Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.


Q: How can you delay milk turning sour? (brilliant, love this!)
A: Keep it in the cow.


Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.


Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.


Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.


Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery


Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.


Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? ( e.g., abdomen)
A: The body is consisted into three parts -- the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the bra in; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels A, E, I, O, and U.


Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.


Q: What does 'varicose' mean? (I do love this one...)
A: Nearby.


Q: Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarian Section.'
A: The Caesarian Section is a district in Rome


Q: What does the word 'benign' mean?'
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.



Kids Are Quick

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.
____________________________________

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
__________ ________________________ ______ __

TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
____________________________________________

TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
__________________________________

TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
__________________________________________

TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
_______________________________________

TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.
_________________________________

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
______________________________________
TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?

CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
___________________________________

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher.

Two Lungs:

I thought this was a survey asking for a "yes" or "no." I've watched the TV show and have to admit the answer is "no."

Bob

When starting a thread, one must call it something.

I guess my choice is definitely questionable.

lol
after reading this ... I guess I am not much smarter than a 5th grader

TWO LUNGS:

NO, definitely not questionable. I readily admit to this after watching the show and seeing people with advanced university degrees come crashing down on things like fourth grade earth science or third grade grammar. I'm encouraged that an elementary teacher bit the dust far from the million dollars.

BOB

I liked this one the most:

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?

LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.

I wouldn't punish him either! At least not at THAT moment.

Tim