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Dec 29th, 2019
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(In light of today's feast on the Julian Calendar, I thought I'd pass along a VERY corny yet appropriate liturgical joke I once heard from a Greek Orthodox bishop.)
A priest goes into the village café and orders a cup of coffee.
The polite waiter asks, "Father, how do you drink your coffee?"
The priest thinks for a moment and says...
"Ανοίγω το στόμα μου/Отверзу уста моя/Deschide-voi gura mea/I open my mouth!" Dave
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CUTE! 
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Oh, forgive the typo--should be "Aνοίξω". Dave, who forgot to proofread
Last edited by Chtec; 12/04/08 05:47 PM.
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Warm congratulations to everyone on today's lovely feast.
Fr. Serge
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And for those who do not know, today is the Fourth Thursday of November on the Julian Calendar - Thanksgiving! Old Calendarists break their fast today with turkey and all the trimmings. 
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Well, if I read it on the Byzantine Forum, it MUST be true!  Dave
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Oh, forgive the typo--should be "Aνοίξω". Dave, who forgot to proofread NO, no, Dave...*I* changed it! The word 'anoixo' is in the future tense, and didn't make sense without the participle (?) which should go in front of it (tha)...so I made it 'anoigo' which means "I open". I thought that sounded better: "I open my mouth" rather than " I will open my mouth". Anyway-- Please, just trust me on this! Please forgive me that I didn't let you know. Regards, Alice
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Отверзу уста моя - In Russian, only if the priest was a woman and she was applying lipstick! Ycta now means lips. I think you want to say: Я открываю мой рот. Unless the priest was very old, in which case his speech may be peppered with Slavonic: Отверзok уста моя.
Alexandr
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Alice, I would trust you with my life when it comes to Greek grammar, but while the punchline may not sound grammatically correct, it is liturgically correct. The priest's reply is the first line of the first Heirmos from the Canon used for feasts of the Mother of God and for the Akathist Canon. So, it is quoted verbatim from the Menaion. Alexandr: no, the priest is not a woman. Please read above reply to Alice and then look at your Menaion. Dave
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Ah, but if the priest is speaking in Church Slavonic, it would still be Отверзok уста моя. Отверзу уста моя literally translates as "I have opened my mouth" The Menaion is quoting Job, I believe chapter 33. "Вот, я открываю уста мои, язык мой говорит в гортани моей."
Sasha
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Old Calendarists break their fast today with turkey and all the trimmings. Get stuffed!
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oh my ...
you guys actually know how to enjoy a good joke while correcting grammar and spelling!!!
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The true test of linguistic erudition is the ability to produce a really good, enjoyable joke while correcting grammar, spelling, and syntax.
Fr. Serge
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