www.byzcath.org Forums Faith & Christian Life Faith & Theology Why Go To Confession

The following link had an interesting article on this topic in ZENIT. I think as we approach the Holy Season of the Fast, it may provoke thought and more importantly the soul.

Why go to confession? [zenit.org]

In IC XC,
Father Anthony+

Bless, Father Anthony,

The problem I've encountered with confession is really the priest/confessor himself.

My wife had a very bad experience with a confessor some years ago - and she hasn't been to confession since.

She doesn't believe she's committed any serious sin (she's wrong, of course . . . ) and whenever I nudge her to join me in the line-up for confession, she starts saying "And who do those priests confess to? They're perfect are they? etc."

And I really don't go to our UGCC priests for confession - the ones in my parish have such a condescending attitude as if to say, "How could you have done that? What's the matter with you?"

No, I go to my Latin Catholic former high school teacher who is now a parish priest.

I will then go to my UGCC parish priest at Lent to fulfill what I see is an obligation to confess in one's parish at that time.

But unless I have a confessor that doesn't judge me or make me feel two inches high, no thank you.

Such priests do untold damage to others as well.

Sorry, but that is how I see it.

Kissing your right hand, I again implore your blessing,

Alex

Alex,

This not the first time I have heard this. I can not excuse poorly trained brethren or those that try to impose their will, instead of the will of God.

My suggestion if the case is advesarial, find another confessor and pray for better results. I do not advocate shopping around, but suggest it in extreme cases.

In IC XC,
Father Anthony+

Bless, Father,

If I may implore your advice here, what do I do with my wife who has somehow come to the conclusion that confession is not for her?

As a member of a priestly family, she used to attend meetings of priests in western Canada.

She said that at each of these, priests got quite drunk and then began talking about "sins they heard in confession."

She seems to think that anything she'll confess will somehow get out into the public domain as a result.

I think that is nonsense - but I never oppose clergy or my wife, as a general rule.

(Or the Administrator here, come to think of it . . .).

What do you suggest I do? May I invoke the Pauline Privilege?

Alex

Yes, bless you, Fr. Anthony and Alex,

this happens..the first time we have an encounter with an insensitive and judgmental confessor it is certainly his fault. But the second time it is our fault because I think we should find another.

I can understand how Alex's wife might feel. Many years ago I had a very bad and confusing encounter with a confessor. I did not go to him again. But most of the time it is the other way...the priest really does convey the love and forgiveness of Christ and I have experienced the peace of God.

This is interesting because on another Christian forum (website)(Catholic section) we are discussing confession at lengths this week. Several Christians of various denominations have joined the thread there and asked some questions with respect and charity...I think some of the answers there have helped them understand this sacrament and what it means to those who receive it.

In Christ,
Mary Jo

Presumably one goes to Confession because one somehow becomes aware of a need to do so.

If at Paschaltide one wishes to "fulfill the obligation" but not actually make a Confession, one may present oneself to the priest and ask a blessing instead. It's only fair to caution that many priests are unaware of this provision, and are apt to be startled and unwilling to accept it. But no one can be forced to make a Sacramental Confession.

Incognitus

Dear Incognitus and Fr. Anthony,

Bless.

I have worked with quite a few individuals who are extremely devout in their faith of Our Church, however, have large issues with the Sacrament of Reconciliation.

The majority believe that if they repent for their sins within their hearts to Our Lord, then they are forgiven and as such, do not really need a priest as an intercessor. One very close friend's wife is almost a doctor now, and he has great respect for physicians. As a result, I attempted the analogy that the priest is a Doctor of the Spirit, and even if you feel okay, you need to have periodic checkups with your doctor, and that is where the Sacrament comes into play, to allow the "Doctor" to examine you and ensure you are spiritually "fit". It did not work. He then used our communion prayer as a counterpoint that we are already asking and receiving forgiveness every time we recite it with our heart and mind:

"O Lord, I believe and profess that You are truly Christ, the Son of the living God, Who came into the world to save sinner, of whom I am the first. Accept me as a partaker of Your mystical supper, O Son of God; for I will not reveal Your mysteries to Your enemies, nor will I give You a kiss as did Judas, but like the thief I confess to You:

Remember me, O Lord, when You shall come into Your kingdom.
Remember me, O Master, when You shall come into Your kingdom.
Remember me, O Holy One, when You shall come into Your kingdom.

May the partaking of Your Holy Mysteries, O Lord, be not for my judgment or condemnation, but for the healing of soul and body.

O Lord, I also believe and profess that this, which I am about to receive, is truly Your most precious Body and Your life-giving Blood, which I pray, make me worthy to receive for the remission of all my sins and for life everlasting. Amen.

O God, be merciful to me, a sinner.
O God, cleanse me of my sins and have mercy on me.
O Lord, forgive me, for I have sinned without number.

Any suggestions to help?

Also, one last thought. It is sometimes difficult, in a small parish, to have the same confessor that your spouse, and parent also use as confessor/spiritual guides. I realize that as a benefit, the confessor can have a greater insight towards your spiritual development, but on the opposite end, it makes it extremely painful to go to confession when you are not in harmony with a family member and if you have done wrong, then trying to confess your sins without naming the person who may have been the catalyst of this issue of falling from grace. Any advice? I have heard this echoed from others on occasion.

In Christ,

Michael

Dear Incognitus,

You stated

Cannot the priest refuse to give Communion to a member of the parish if they have not been to confession? I thought this happens frequently in Eastern Churches?

Thank you.

Michael

From the Diary of St. Faustina, "Divine Mercy in my Soul". Confession of sins in the Sacrament of Penance



SAINT FAUSTINA:
I would like to say three words to the soul that is determined to strive for sanctity and to derive fruit; that is to say, benefit from confession.
First word - complete sincerity and openness. Even the holiest and wisest confessor cannot forcibly pour into the soul what he desires if it is not sincere and open. An insincere , secretive soul risks great dangers in the spiritual life, and even the Lord Jesus Himself does not give Himself to such a soul on a higher level, because He knows it would derive no benefit from these special graces.

Second word - humility. A soul does not benefit as it should from the sacrament of confession if it is not humble. Pride keeps it in darkness. The soul neither knows how, nor is willing, to probe ..the depths of its own misery. It puts on a mask and avoids everything that might bring it recovery.

Third word - obedience. A disobedient soul will win no victory, even if the Lord Jesus himself, in person, were to hear its confession (113)


(During a time of illness) Suddenly I felt sick, I gasped for breath, there was darkness before my eyes, my limbs grew numb - and there was a terrible suffocation. Even a moment of such suffocation is extremely long...There also comes a strange fear, in spite of trust. I wanted to receive the last sacraments, but it was extremely difficult to make a confession even though I desired to do so. ...Oh, may God keep every soul from delaying confession until the last hour! I understand the great power of the priest's words when they are poured out upon a sick person's soul. When I asked my spiritual father whether I was ready to stand before the Lord and whether I could be at peace, I received the reply, "You can be completely at peace, not only right now but after each weekly confession." Great is the divine grace that accompanies these words of the priest. The soul feels power and courage for battle. (321)

JESUS:
Write, speak of My mercy. Tell souls where they are to look for solace; that is, in the Tribunal of Mercy. There the greatest miracles take place [and] are incessantly repeated. To avail oneself of this miracle, it is not necessary to go on a great pilgrimage or to carry out some external ceremony; it suffices to come with faith to the feet of My representative and to reveal to him one's misery, and the miracle of Divine Mercy will be fully demonstrated. Were a soul like a decaying corpse so that from a human standpoint, there would be no [hope of ] restoration and everything would already be lost, it is not so with God. The miracle of Divine Mercy restores that soul in full. Oh, how miserable are those who do not take advantage of the miracle of God's mercy! You will call out in vain, but it will be too late. (1448)

SAINT FAUSTINA:
I feel much better today. I was glad I would be able to meditate more during the Holy Hour. Then I heard a voice: JESUS: You will not be in good health. Do not put off the Sacrament of Penance, because this displeases Me. Pay little attention to the murmurs of those around you. [Sr. Faustina then recounts her unexpected suffering which occurred soon after]. I now understand the Lord's warning. I decided to call any priest at all, the next day, and to open the secrets of my soul to him....for while I was praying for sinners and offering all my sufferings for them, the Evil spirit could not stand that. (1464)

Today the Lord said to me, JESUS: Daughter, when you go to confession, to this fountain of My mercy, the Blood and Water which came forth from My Heart always flows down upon your soul and ennobles it. Every time you go to confession, immerse yourself in My mercy, with great trust, so that I may pour the bounty of My grace upon your soul. When you approach the confessional, know this, that I Myself am waiting there for you. I am only hidden by the priest, but I myself act in your soul. Here the misery of the soul meets the God of mercy. Tell souls that from this fount of mercy souls draw graces solely with the vessel of trust. If their trust is great, there is no limit to My generosity. The torrents of grace inundate humble souls. The proud remain always in poverty and misery, because My grace turns away from them to humble souls. (1602)

My daughter, just as you prepare in My presence, so also you make your confession before Me. The person of the priest is, for Me, only a screen. Never analyse what sort of a priest it is that I am making use of; open your soul in confession as you would to Me, and I will fill it with My light. (1725)

Dear Friends,

As Michael demonstrated, this can be a very large issue with people.

It is a very important issue and I don't know what to do or say to it.

I'm all ears and I thank Fr Silouan for his contribution.

Alex

Michael,

I think you hit the nail on the head.

Here is how I try to explain the need and benefit of confession, especially to people who say it isn�t Biblical or Scriptural. .

First, yes, if anyone sincerely confesses their sins to God they are forgiven. Jesus taught that clearly with the example of the tax collector in the temple who prayed "Oh God, have mercy on me, sinner." Jesus said that he went home justified. And, there are examples in the Gospel in which a man or a woman repented directly to Jesus and Jesus directly forgave them. And, the Catholic Church teaches this under the technical term "perfect contrition."

But, Jesus after His resurrection, appeared to the apostles and He said: �Peace be with you. As the Father has sent Me, so I send you.� Then He breathed on them and said �Receive the Holy Spirit. Whoever�s sins you forgive are forgiven; and whoever�s sins you retain are retained.� (John 20: 21-23)

There is a commandment here. Jesus said, �Peace be with you.� He didn�t say, �Peace be with you if you feel like it.� He said, �Peace be with you.� That is a commandment.

Jesus also told us how to fulfill this commandment. We are to be at peace by (1) being sent into the world and He was sent into the world, (2) by receiving the Holy Spirit and (3) by forgiving sins (or retaining them till there is true repentance). That is how to be at peace how and to keep His commandment.

The Church tries to keep this commandment overall, in all aspects of our lives. We --all of us-- are always supposed to be like Christ. We are all supposed to be in the world but not of the world, like Jesus, receiving and radiating the love of Holy Spirit of God, and forgiving those who harm us.

But, there is also a set of practical needs when it comes to the forgiveness of sins. The penitent often needs some kind of visible assurance that he or she has been forgiven. The Christian community needs some kind of assurance that this sinner has, in fact, repented and can be a full member of the community. The repentant sinner often needs advice on how to avoid sin in the future. And, especially, everybody needs to clearly face the fact that they have sinned --to make a �moral inventory� as some would say-- instead of dodging the issue by saying a quick and often empty �I�m sorry.�

The sacrament / mystery of confession meets those needs. The sinner has a visible assurance that he or she is forgiven -- regardless of how that person might feel emotionally. The priest can also vouch to the rest of the Church that the sinner has, in fact, repented and should be allowed into full communion with the Church. The priest (with the grace of the Holy Spirit) can also offer advice to a repentant sinner about how to avoid sin in the future. And, the exercise of being accountable to another human being is both difficult but very useful -- because it reminds us visibly that we shall each be likewise accountable to God on the Day of Judgement. (If confession doesn�t feel good now, it really won�t feel good then; so repent now while there is still God�s mercy.)

In short, the sacrament / mystery of confession is one way in which the Church tries to keep the commandment of Jesus in The Gospel according to St. John 20: 21-23. Namely, Jesus commanded us to be at peace, by going into the world like Jesus, and by receiving the Holy Spirit, and by forgiving sins. Confession is not a substitute for direct forgiveness by God. Confession is one way of experiencing that direct forgiveness by God. Confession is also one way of keeping the rest of the commandment. Only God forgives men�s� sins; but He often does so through each other, as we forgive each other. That is what Jesus told us in the Lord�s Prayer, and that is what He commanded us to do after His resurrection (John 20:21-23), and that is what confession tries, in part, to fulfill.

just my two cents worth of ideas.

-- John

Dear Fr Silouan (Bless, please) and John,

Thank you both for sharing on this topic.

I would like to hear more input.

In Christ,

Michael

It is fairly clear from the historical record that the Sacrament of Pennance can be understood from two positions, but also from any point in between those two positions.

The ancient Church held Pennance primarily as a Sacrament for admission to communion in the Church and as a means of reconcilliation for those who had sinned gravely and thereby fallen out of communion. If it was partaken of more frequently, we have lost record of it.

The Reconcilliatory Model: The sacrament is there to enable a sinner to unburden his sin, begin a penitential discipline (if assigned/recommended), and immediately or eventually receive absolution for the sin. With the more serious sins that the West has called "mortal" and the East sometimes called "grave," a confessor might decide to consult with his bishop prior to fixing the period and manner of pennance. In these matters, of course, as the fruits of the pennance become evident, the more quickly will he administer the absolution and the return to communion. In this model, formal pennance and reconcilliation may only be seen as necessary when the sin has caused a break in communion. The Byzantine Mediterranean world, certainly amongst the laity, tends toward this model.

The Theraputic Model: An intimate and frequent relationship with a confessor leads a sinner to understand the role of sin in his life, its causes, and its remedies. Clearly, the monastics tend toward this model of Pennance and even have lay confessors for whom the community has identified the role of Confessor as a vocation from God. The Churches of the Slavic traditions also tend toward this model, some "requiring" confession at some frequency or regularity for continued communion in the Church.

In Christ,
Andrew

Thank you, Andrew ! That was a useful post and well said !

Dear Friends,

This is all wonderful - but how to practically get a person who does not want to go to confession to return to this Mystery?

Alex