www.byzcath.org Forums Faith & Christian Life Faith & Theology Your advise and prayers requested

As a few of you may know, I am/was discerning a change of Churches. After much prayer and several months of thinking, I have decided that I want to become Byzantine(I'm presently Roman Catholic). There are a few issues, though.

My wife has recently decided that she wants to convert to Catholicism(praise be to God). However, she wants to enter into the Roman Rite. This is ironic since she is Ukrainian and I am Irish We have an 11 month old son who, under Canon Law, would automatically become Byzantine when I change.

I want as much unity in the family as possible, but I feel God has called me to the Byzantine Church. I'm afraid that my wife will feel "alone" in her conversion if we are Catholics of different Churches. Maybe after she is baptised, we could talk about her becoming Byzantine too, I don't know.

I need prayers for my family in the bittersweet time we are in, and advise if anybody cares to give it.

Christ is Risen!

[This message has been edited by fightingIrish (edited 04-16-2001).]

May God grant you and your family wisdom and many years.

I join my prayers with those of Kelly and pray for your spiritual peace.

Might I suggest talking to one or the other of the priests in the parishes. It is most helpful for a marriage when the married couple is able to share more deeply on the spiritual level. While you may feel the desire to become Byzantine, it seems to me that there is still an important aspect of sharing spiritually with one's spouse. Perhaps you might go to the Byzantine Church periodically -- to nourish that aspect of your spirituality, but at other times attend the Roman church with your wife. Pray together and let the Holy Spirit holyspiritize.

Blessings! Christ is Risen!

Dr. John,

Sometimes one sees a glimmer of the wisdom of solomon! Great advice. I join in the prayers for wise discernment in this situation. God is glorified in all His Churches.

Joy!

Dear FightingIrish,

If your son has been Baptized in the Roman Church, would he not continue to be Roman? Clearly, you need to prayerfully consider what to do and I think it best to form a consensus with the better half. A family that branches off to different Churches on Sunday may lead to a confused kid.

I take it your wife has not been raised as a Catholic. Is she interested in her Slavic heritage? I speak here as the son of a Ukrainian father and Polish mom, and mom was the one who got us to the Ukrainian Church and Saturday classes, as dad's family didn't go to church often.

May I suggest a gentle effort to get the wife to Byzantine liturgy once a month or so and get to know the pastor and make some friends there. The food at the Parish dinner or festival may be the hook you need.

May the love of Christ shine on your Domestic Church!

Christ is Risen!
He is Risen, Indeed!

John
Pilgrim and Odd Duck

Dear FightingIrish,

In situations like these, one of the "good" things about the Ukrainian Catholic Church could be some of its Latinized aspects . . .

Please feel free to e-mail me privately on any issue related to this and I would be very happy to converse with your wife either to reassure her or else to discuss any difficulties on this matter.

Christ is Risen!

Alex

Thank you all. I shall remember you all in my prayers as well.

Christ is Risen!

John,

Children under 14 change ecclesial membership along with their parents if both change. If one changes but the other does not, a child's membership is determined by mutual consent of the parents regardless of which church the child was baptized in.

In Christ,
Lance, deacon candidate

Dear FightingIrish,
I will pray. The normal thing for a convert who is coming into Communion with the Catholic Church is to be received into the equivalent Eastern Church. Hopefully all of you could find a home there. Talk over the issues with her and see what see thinks.

Stephanos

fightingIrish,

Christ is risen!

I take it your wife is not a born Orthodox but was Protestant or raised with no religion. My advice FWIW is go Byzantine � as you aren�t planning on perpetuating the Schism in your family, the two of you belonging to different Churches isn�t much of a problem as you would be in communion with each other regardless. The only snag as you see is the matter of which tradition to raise your son in, just as it would be a problem for a Roman-Orthodox marriage. Being able to commune at Dad�s Byzantine church but not at Mom�s Roman one would be awfully confusing for a boy or girl under 7. But not insurmountable. Maybe you can give the Roman priest a heads-up about what you�re doing and then he�ll commune your young son.

Serge

<A HREF="http://oldworldrus.com">Old World Rus�</A>

[This message has been edited by Rusnak (edited 04-18-2001).]

If I may add this little bit, I remember reading somewhere, it may have been in a work by a Latin priest, that, if Eastern Catholics attend a Roman Mass, and their children (who have already "made their first communion" at baptism) wish to receive communion, they are allowed to receive the host, or if they can't, then the chalice. I would second Serge's advice and give the Roman priest a heads up, I'm sure they'd be ready and willing.

Irish,

Prayers for your journey. I hope the Spirit provides both you and your wife with clear direction. I recommend that you find a good spiritual director to talk with. People on this forum can provide you with excellent advice but only a good director ("elder") can help you to determine which path to take.

Moose