www.byzcath.org Forums Faith & Christian Life Faith & Theology Prayer life - or lack of :(

Dear Friends,

I'm looking for help and thought, that a discussion about our personal prayer lives/practices might answer a few thoughts/questions/puzzles and problems that I have at the moment.

As you will know I do have a Spiritual Director - but because of his Father's recent terminal illness I have not been able to meet with Fr. John since August - as he said at the time ,though without saying why, he was in 'overload' and this I respect. Obviously I will once again have to wait for a while to see him - his priorities are his own Parish and the University Students - I am well down the list.

However my Prayer life is sadly adrift - it is 'mechanical' ,non satisfying , I am getting to the state where it is an obligation rather than a joy. In times past I have thought of that portion in Jeremiah where we are advised to take the familiar path when we are at the crossroads - but this is what I have been doing for a long time - and it's not working !! So I am now trying to sort things out for myself and from a conversation [ when the topic came up during the chat] with a friend last night I've a feeling I am not alone in this.

OK here we go then

According to my Jordanville Book as we rise in the morning our first action should be prayer - theoretically I agree but practically this is very difficult in the married state [ even more so when the other person is a non believer ] as the needs of the other person have to be considered. The first moment I have to stand still is when I am under the shower - and by this time breakfast is prepared and I am trying to get downstairs fast enough to actually have my breakfast with my husband when he returns from the early morning Dog Stroll. The Office comes after this but sadly it is now mechanical - pick the Book up and get on with it - I feel the pressures of the rest of the morning already - and it is hard to ignore them and fulfill the requirement to Praise Him as I should. The rest of the day follows suit - snatched moments for prayer - all too brief , Intentions to find time for Vespers seem to vanish. Even Compline last thing at night is now hard .

Now I do know that most Eastern Christians [ yes Catholic and Orthodox and not forgetting the Orientals like Mor Ephrem ] have much longer prayers than we Latins do - the Office is longer for starters and you use the Psalter more then we do [ actually I have to admit I don't know any Latin who does pray the Psatler on a regular basis other than what is included in the Office] so do explain how do you manage.

I hope that this discussion will be fruitful with input from Clergy and laity alike. As you know I am not wanting just ideas that are applicable to Latins [ yes I do have that enormous Eastern tilt ] and I appreciate the beauty and timelessness and the deep meaning in the eastern Liturgy and I love what I have learnt, and still am learning from it.

Right - now having rambled on - over to you my Sisters and Brethren in Christ

Although I am no Staretz, I think you may be trying to do too much based on the need we all feel to commune with our Lord. Whenever I get to a place where my prayer becomes tedious, I try to see where I am at in terms of my Spiritual journey. Keeping in mind the warnings the Fathers of the Church stress about the devil of laziness, I can sometimes go overboard. In doing so, I loose sight of what I am really to be doing. At those times, I find it helpfull to simply, prayfully, and slowly recite the Jesus Prayer sometimes only once as I have time. It helps me to refocus. Eventually, I usually find prayer begins to fall naturally back into my day.
Currently I try to pray as many of the lesser Hours as I can fit into a day and a somewhat reduced Cell Rule of Optina at night. Anyway, I hope that helps some...

Dmitri

Neither am I any authority on this. However, I can share with you my personal experience which is not unlike yours.

I, too, struggle with "boredom" at times when it comes to my prayer rule. Instead of sticking with one rule for all time, I change things up a bit. Remember, it's quality, not quantity that counts when it comes to prayer. Sometimes I'll pray a psalm or two, sometimes I'll say the Rosary, othertimes it will be 100 JESUS prayers on my prayer rope. Don't stick with a long or elaborate prayer rule if you aren't being spiritually fed. I also know what it is like to stick with morning prayer when you are married. Sometimes it's as simple as making the sign of the cross before your feet hit the floor. Center your mind on God as soon as you open your eyes. This is better then mumbling prayer in a half sleeping state at 6:00 A.M Read a short passage a Scripture.

As you so rightly point out, prayer shouldn't be a burden. Keep things simple if you have to.

Columcille

Dear Angela,

If after what I said about the Administrator's comments on the episcopal consecrations he will allow me to continue on this forum, I wish to respond to your post .

The only obligation we have with respect to prayer is to "pray always."

It is not to say the Psalter regularly every week, or to pray as many Hours as possible daily, or to get through any prayer rule for its sake alone.

It is to pray always.

And that is an ideal, to be sure.

The Holy Spirit is our great Teacher of prayer.

When I was settled into a daily rule, I know now how proud I was to be able to say that I did the full Horologion, with Psalm readings, Canons etc.

My prayer life became mechanical too - but even more than that, it was an exercise in being able to say, "Wow, I did that - ain't I great?"

Our duties of our state in life come first and are our vocation. The challenge is to adapt our prayer life to that vocation.

The Old Believers start to say the Jesus Prayer when they wake up in the morning. They say it while making the Sign of the Cross with two fingers over themselves. They continue saying it when they are brushing their teeth, preparing breakfast and attending to their duties.

When they have a free half-hour, they will say their morning prayers with prostrations etc. but always, as their prayerbooks say, "as many as you can." There is no set amount, but always "as many as you can."

They will carry their leather Lestovka or Rosary with them because you never know when you can steal a few minutes for prayer.

The Divine Office can only really be properly said by those who have few other obligations or by Monks.

We are not called to finish it daily, but to participate in the Prayer of the Church.

It is more important, I believe, to see ourselves praying as part of the worldwide Church and celebrate that in praying a portion of the Office than to try and fulfill certain amounts of it daily.

It is more important to see how much God loves us, rather than try to prove how much WE love God, in praying what we can and knowing that this prayer, by virtue of its special character, is heard by God and that our "Amen" is God's "Child, I love you and bless you!" And that we are supported by all those around the world who pray the Office too and on whose prayers we rely in our daily needs as part of the Communion of Saints.

Perhaps we need to just be in the Presence of the Lord and relax, thinking about how much He loves us.

And praying the Jesus Prayer or Hail Mary in between daily duties, in other words, when prayer is the most difficult, is a sacrifice that is most pleasing to God.

The monks of the desert wove baskets to sell in the marketplace to support themselves. They prayed a short prayer continually, every hour on the hour. And this was their Daily Office, their Horologion, their Divine Praises.

One monk wove 17 baskets and he prayed the first two verses of Psalm 51: Have mercy on me, O God, according to Thy great mercy . . .

He prayed this continually and then he gave two of these baskets as a payment to another who would say the exact same prayer continually over him as he slept . . .

Nothing ever prevents us from saying the Jesus Prayer, as St John Chrysostom says, "standing, sitting, lying down, eating etc."

Let that be your Office in the desert of daily life.

Alex

Angela,

I had to chuckle a bit, because my first "real" prayer time each day is when I'm in the shower. Right now my "rule" has been interrupted because the drive to work is my usual "uninterrupted" time, and my car is currently parked until we figure out why I have no lights in the back. (I was rear-ended, and the most likely explanation is that the bulb filaments shattered. Hope so 0 that's a cheap fix.) So my "rule of prayer" right now is mostly a string of "holy sound bites."

Thing is, we aren't called to be successful at anything - just faithful.

Sharon
(who still struggles with the "faithful" part waaay too often)

Do any members of this forum have a dedicated prayer area set aside in their homes?

I was thinking of turning an unused bedroom into an area used just for prayer.

In doing this I thought it might help me to set aside time I now give to other less important things...channel surfing, web browsing, etc.

If you have a room set aside, do you use it? How often?

Thanks for any input.

Sam

Dear Sam,

I do! I do!

In our new home, I've built floating shelves on which I lean my icons - I don't nail them to the wall anymore as this drives my wife bananas.

There are candles, and a portable iconostasis I purchased from St Vladimir's Seminary Bookstore etc.

As it is on the way out the door, one can perform a brief rite of entrance and departure bows. Morning and evening prayers, and prayer at other times are done there. Guests are taken there and participate in prayer as well. It's also a great place to just sit and meditate before the icons.

There's also a prostration pillow, staff, prayerbooks etc. Everything one needs to be happy!

I highly recommend not only an icon corner, but a home chapel as well!

Alex

It would nice to have a home chapel with a hieromonk to lead the Hours in a similar way to some of the English estates that had private Chapels and Chaplains on staff (i.e Brideshead Revisited and Lady Marchmain) One can dream.......

Dear Brian,

Actually, you can appoint yourself "Home Reader" and do the services in the same way!

You can even do the Typika which in the West would be the "Dry Mass" for your family.

Instead of Communion, you may distribute Blessed Bread from the previous Liturgy, have everyone drink some Holy Water (three times) and have everyone kiss the Cross - all sacramental actions!

Fr. John Whiteford has the full text and rubrics at pages.prodigy.net/frjohnwhiteford/services.htm

Many old English castles had their own Chapels, as you know, with their own priests.

These clerics were employed not only to say Mass and perform the services for the family and the staff, they were also employed to do all legal/administrative work involving Latin as they were trained in that language.

To this day, the name stuck with "clerical work" in our common parlance denoting writing/paper work.

If you don't mind, I do now confirm and consecrate you, "Home Reader Brian."

I wish I could sprinkle you with some Holy Water . . .

Home Reader Alex

Thank you , dear Alex but my priest got to me with the Holy Water before you on the Feast of Holy Theophany. As I approached to venerate the Cross after Liturgy, Father Ian said "librarians need blessings too" and with a twinkle in his eyes, let it go with the Holy Water!!!!
My hair was completely soaked!!! It seemed quite like a Baptism into Orthodoxy, I can tell you!

Peace,
Brian

I have a large iconostasis in my bedroom where most of my prayers are said. However, I also have a small one in the kitchen where I tend to pray the first hour before going into work. I agree with Alex that having icons througout the house helps my prayer life.

Dmitri

Dear Dmitri,

Yes, and one can place icons at work or anywhere, and carry them on one's person, especially when one travels.

As I said before, my little shrine at work, which is across from my computer right now, has seen all sorts of people pray before it. It mesmerizes me, the kind of effect icons have on people of different Christian traditions.

One Jewish friend actually wrote out a prayer request on a slip of paper, rolled it up and placed it behind the icons!

He is also, BTW, a karate expert who, as he says, knows "Jew Jitsu . . ."

Alex

Angela,

When you are in the shower sings some hymns. You will at least stay connected.

Nicky's Baba

Dear Nicky's Baba,

In my case, that would really be taking good music down the drain . . .

Alex

Dear Dmitri,

I also think that having an icon/ icons to pray in front of is very helpful. This is somewhat of a new experience for me.

By the way, what is the cell rule of optina?

John