This is certainly an interesting review of the differences in ecclesial customs of greeting.
My sense is that we Melkites are, perhaps, less formal (or more familiar) in our relationships with our hierarchs and clergy. I don't think it is a matter of being any less respectful, but I don't know that I can explain why it is as it is. Perhaps one of my fellow Melkites (I notice that a couple more have joined the Forum in recent weeks) has a theory (assuming they agree with me
).
In my time as a member of the Church (almost 4 decades), it was generally common for both laymen and clergy to kiss the right hand of the hierarch and then to exchange three kisses* (right cheek, left cheek, right cheek). Bowing was uncommon. Laywomen are more likely to only kiss the hierarch's hand; when a woman does kiss his cheek, the tendency is to only exchange a single kiss. You will sometimes see women do a sort of informal curtsey.
These customs have always seemed to apply to both bishops and to His Beatitude, the Patriarch; I can recollect this to have been the practice observed with regard to the first 3 bishops [Bishop Justin (Najmy), Archbishop Joseph (Tawil), and Bishop Ignatius (Ghattas), all of blessed memory] who served the Exarchate or Eparchy and to all 3 of our Patriarchs during that time.
More recently, the bishops tend to slightly withdraw their hand, precluding it being kissed; the manner in which they do so results in more a clasp than a handshake (if you can understand what I mean) and that (a somewhat "fraternal" clasp) appears to be purposeful. After that happening a few times, folks seem to get the idea and the clasp becomes
de rigeur on both sides, with no further effort made to kiss the hand. This has been true of both Bishops John and Nicholas and, most recently, Archbishop Cyril.
The greeting exchanged with the priest is essentially that also exchanged between laity in our Church. The priest's hand is not kissed (the occasional exception being an elderly priest of particularly venerable status), but the three kisses on the cheeks are exchanged, usually accompanied by a hug if the person greeting the priest is someone who knows him well. Again, women are more likely to exchange only a single kiss with the priest, if at all.
Notably, the customs are now most religiously (no pun intended
) observed by middle-aged (and older) men of Arabic descent and their non-Arab contemporaries who have been members of the Church for some years; they are less commonly observed by the young, except among recent immigrants - some of whom will do so, but usually only with clergy whom they know personally.
Most Melkite parishes are diverse communities, many of whose members are from cultures (
e.g., Irish
) where such gestures (really, among our peoples, shows of respect, affection, or - most frequently - both) among men are very uncommon, if not outright unheard of. Thus, I suspect that our whole style of greeting one another (which is a very casual, everyday thing - not something reserved for special occasions) is a major adjustment for newcomers whose ethnicity doesn't include this kind of demonstrativeness.
*The triple kiss is a development of the past 15 years or so; prior to that, only two kisses were usually exchanged. I can't put a finger on precisely when that changed and have no idea why it did.
Many years,
Neil
From what I've observed, I think the practice among the Antiochan and Syriac Orthodox, at least in the Boston area, is similar to ours with regards to the non-hierarchical clergy. While that might suggest it's an "Arab thing", the Maronites are more formal in my experience
