www.byzcath.org Forums Faith & Christian Life Parish Life & Evangelization Parish Etiquette - addressing priests

In another forum a person was addressing an Orthodox Priest by his nickname.

I was told that we should always address a priest by his full saints name unless we were told otherwise.

If 'we' just happened to be a 'youth group' and if 'we' were told to call him Father Joe to foster intimacy within that group, then outside of that youth group in the presence of adults, we would address him respectfully as Father Joseph (again supposing that he only asked the youth to call him Father Joe and not the whole parish).

Please share your comments.

1. I have only heard the requirement for the full Christian name during the Mysteries, and no such requirement outside them.

2. Obviously it is wrong to give anyone a nickname without his expressed desire for you to do so. One wouldn't walk up to Fr. Joseph and say, "Hey, Fr. Joe!" If he calls himself Fr. Joe, we wouldn't guess at his full name and call him Fr. Joseph.

3. I believe we should call people by the name they choose, deferring always to the person who has to answer to it.

4. In the case of the youth group, if the priest told the kids to call him Fr. Joe, then there is nothing wrong with the understanding that they will do just that. I would not expect them to address him with certain versions of his name inside and outside the meeting. If he didn't want to be called that, he wouldn't have offered it.

I have been in environments where I think there is a decided lack of respect for the priest. This can not only be what you call your priest, but how you act around him.

I only refer to our priest by his proper name. When I meet him, I ask for his blessing and kiss his hand. Same when departing. Not everybody does this.

Andrew

But everybody should. We forget that Christ is present in a special way in the priest.

Thus the honor we offer when we kiss the priest's hand.

Brother Ed

I know there is etiquette...

But, we always holler' Abouna! and he says, 'yes dear'

Regarding kissing the hand of an Orthodox Priest:

When I was at the 50 year anniversary, the Priest told us not to approach him and request a blessing when a Bishop was present.

When is the appropriate time and place to ask a blessing of a Priest and kiss his hand?

Dear Elizabeth Maria,Usually when saying hello or goodbye to a priest,one should get a blessing.However,when the bishop is present,the priest doesn't give a blessing,because the bishop is his superior.Likewise, when the bishop is present in church,even if he isn't serving,when the priest exclaims<"Peace be unto all",he will bow to the people WITHOUT blessing with his hand.

I can see your reasoning for the first three point, but #4 raises a potential problem. I have observed certain yiayias in our parish who honestly believe that it takes a 'village to raise a child' and they won't hesitate to use corporal punishment on children or youth who don't show respect for THEIR PRIEST. And they can give the meanest stares and elbow jabs to adults. Beware their tongues too. Many children are quite adept at code switching to avoid such jabs, punches, and stares.

Oh my! If I were a parent in that situation, I would most likely privately point out to Father that his request was likely to net such a problem for my child, and ask him to either not ask the children to call him a name he isn't alright with being called all the time or to make it clear to those yiayias that he had initiated and requested this name for the children to call him and that there would be no mouths full of soap or behinds spanked over his request.

Dear Father Al:

Father Bless!

Thank you for your response. That did help.

When we kiss the Cross and the Priest's hand at the end of the Divine Liturgy, then there is no need to kiss his hand in the hall should we leave before he does, isn't that true?

However, if we were to attend a day of recollection and we came in late to the retreat, then would we greet him by kissing his hand at the earliest opportunity, using common sense so as not to disturb the gathering, correct?

Respectfully yours in Christ,
Elizabeth Maria

Dear Elizabeth Maria,I'm not sure if you are from the Greek or Russian tradition.In the Russian tradition,a person often cups his/her hand to recieve a blessing upon greeting or taking leave of a priest.Of course, it should be done at an opportune moment.Likewise, if a bishop enters the altar while a priest is conducting a service, the priest gets a blessing at an opportune moment.Greeks will often just grab a priests hand and kiss it without asking a blessing.Also,it is a Greek practice not to kiss ANYTHING after having recieved Holy Communion, whereas the Russians have a second kissing of the cross after the post-communion prayers are read.People at my current practice have the custom of only kissing the cuff of the priests vestment, when kissing the cross after having communed,I'm not sure where they got that from.

It is a bit sad to see the violence from the yiayias to children and adults. I hope they soon learn that in the USA (as in other western countries) people keep their hands to them selves or they risk being charges with an assault. I was disapointed that such violence to anyone seems to be considered normal. Such childish behaviour should not be tollerated. Parents can repremand their own children and common assault charges should be brought on people who have alien values and think touching others is their right. Most clergy are big lads who can handle themselves very well.

Disgusted

Dear Pavel,

With all due respect, what does this have to do with the topic at hand?

Alice

Dear Father Al,

Bless. Out of curiousity, what is your current jurisdiction?

Perhaps someone of that ethnic jurisdiction here might be able to shed some light on the practice of kissing the cuff of the priest's vestment.

Kissing your right hand,
Alice

Alice the posting is related to the posting above my own posting and also commented on by Wondering. I dont approve of people hitting other people kids or taking it upon themselves to strike adults either in or out of church.