www.byzcath.org Forums Faith & Christian Life Parish Life & Evangelization most embarrassing mistakes

One of my colleagues relates the story of the Latin priest who was leading a funeral procession from the church to the nearby cemetery. Seems he walked over a grave that was about to settle—though it had no surface indication—and sunk himself up to his waist in mud in full vestments.

Another relates the time he had an Orthodox funeral and the priest was accustomed to emptying his kadilla into the grave after the casket was at the bottom of the grave. Seems he had one hot piece of charcoal and set the cloth-covered casket on fire. And then the family members jumped into the grave to try to stomp out the fire.

Whenever our unofficial cantor is not in attendance, we recite rather than chant the Creed. Well, last night at Divine Liturgy, our little mission of a dozen souls was reciting the Creed quite nicely. However, when we got to the procession of the Holy Spirit, I blundered and blurted out the Filioque !

Sam, red-faced with his RC roots showing

You couldn't have been more embarrassed than I was:

Way back in 1993, the Melkite Bishop was visiting us and I was new, so during the Creed, when everyone else was taking a breath, I said quite loudly "and the Son." The Bishop opened his mouth and his eyes widened. He continued to watch me for more mistakes and I accidentally crossed myself the RC way then tried to correct myself going back and forth several times. When it came time for Holy Communion, he commented that I must pray the Creed and make the Sign of the Cross correctly every day during prayers to learn it right! He also encouraged me to attend the daily Divine Liturgy. This worked wonders! In the Byzantine Church, the Bishop truly watches over his flock.

CHRISTOS VOSKRES!

I have been reading everyone's "experiences" and thought of another one that makes me chuckle to this day.

I was attending Paska services at St. Nicholas Cathedral in Washington,DC. Metro Theo was censing the crowd (way before the "fall" of the USSR but still jammed packed) and one of the young ladies standing a few feet away bowed her head as she was blessing herself. Her nicely couffed and moussed hair swing into the candle flame and POOF!!!!

It was watching a PEPSI commercial with Michael Jackson. There was a flurry of activity as various members of the congregation began to beat her furiously with prayer books and bulletins to put out the flames.

All I could think of was Michael Jackson singing JUST BEAT IT.....

I had to leave the church because I was shaking so much....

I came back a few minutes later and couldn't find the ikonstas. One of the servers had put "extra" incense in the kadila to cover up the singed hair and burned mousse smell. You could have smoked kolbass & shunka in the Cathedral that night!!!

Still chuckling here....

mark

If only she had her head covered.

I typed this with my wife standing nearby. You should have heard the sigh.

Hi Mark,

I loved your post! I know St. Nicholas Cathedral in D.C...I don't know if you have been there recently, but they have added some very beautiful authentic Russian iconography recently. My family and I got a tour from the pastor, Father Constantine White. I do lament however, that our country is so jurisdictional that the G.O. Cathedral and the OCA Cathedral are just a block away! Oh well...on the other hand,it could be considered a truly beautiful thing being that it is in a city that celebrates the international community!

Now as far as that woman's hair...been there, done that! I was exiting the sanctuary with candle in hand, with crowds of others doing the same behind me, and POOF!! Fortunately for those human angels God puts in our path, a very good and devout older man, who I had the priveledge of teaching Sunday School with just happened to be standing to the side at that very moment, noticed what happened immediately, and put out the impending catastrophe!!!

It also happened to my little cousin when we were little girls...in her case, a long flowing ribbon in the back of her hair...all those crowds and all those candles...so dangerous!!

How about fainting? My daughter who was about six at the time, was sitting pretty with her candle on the steps of the altar in a very crowded church when all of a sudden I looked down and saw her eyes roll back into her head!!! She had been staring at the candle too long, and was VERY tired, (twelve being way past her bedtime... )

In Christ,
Alice

SO when the time came I got in line with everyone else. When I got to the priest, he held out the spoon and paused (fro me to tell him my name I guess) and I just stood there like an idiot. After a few minutes he must have realised what was going on. He looked my in the eye, and said warmly: "we're glad you're here with us today" made a cross over me and sent me on my way.

David,

What a kind and understanding priest you encountered.

Many years,

Neil

Once I was serving for a certain Greek Catholic bishop, and had placed the traditional very long beeswax tapers in the trikery and dikery. This particular parish had ceiling fans with the cords hanging down for pulling the fans on/off.

Well, at one of the "Lord, Lord look down" intonations he managed to catch the fan cord on fire which jumped up the cord rather quickly. I and the bishop didn't miss a step moving to the four directions, me holding the Archieraticon, the bishop with dikerotrikery, and with the pastor managing to swat out the flames.

Tongues of fire? Burning down the house?

Lord, Lord, look down from heaven and scream...

Many years back, in a parish in Massachusetts, a Council Member accidentally locked the priest in his office just before the start of the Resurrection Matins...

Fortunately, the pay phone in the lobby accepted incoming calls, so the priest was able to call someone to come let him out...

But several thousand people watched the aforesaid Council Member the rest of the evening, till his face was as red as one of the Easter eggs!

Gaudior, who still remembers THAT! (I doubt he has forgotten, either)

XB!

Ed...I know that service book!

My favorites are some "chanter errors" that nearly convulse those listening...

Hail, O Virgin, who didst bore Jesus...

Blessed art Thou, O Lord, teach me Your Statues...

Blessed is Your condensation...

On this day, we celebrate the finding of the Third Head of St. John the Baptist...

Mind...often those listening=four...the rest fortunately hear what the service is supposed to say!

Gaudior, grateful this is so

"May Christ our true God, baptized by Jordan in the John...."

Well, this was at my Latin Rite church, not the Byzantine, but our poor priest this morning came out in the wrong vestments! It was supposed to be red for the feast of St. Matthias, and he accidentally put on the white, from yesterday's feast of Our Lady of Fatima.

He was just starting on the opening prayer when he realized it, said "Oh my -- Gosh!" (restraining himself admirably there, I thought ), excused himself and rushed back into the sacristy to re-vest, while we all just kinda stood around and ... waited.

No one criticized him though - every time something like that's happened, and someone complained, it always turns out the poor priest was up all night with a sick parishioner or something admirable like that. So we just smile and thank God that we have a priest at all!

Was ceiling fans in ancient Rus'??? IS OUTRAGE!!! Get those ripidia working!

Oύτις ημιν φιλει ου φροντίδα | Nemo nos diliget non curamus