www.byzcath.org Forums Faith & Christian Life Prayer Help me to discern my sin here

Dear Friends,

The major part of the reason for my departure from my present work situation has to do with verbal abuse.

Am I sinning by thinking I do not deserve this? Am I sinning by not asking God for the strength to bear it and go on in the same situation?

Alex

My friend, I do not post here much anymore, but I felt I had to reply to your post. Verbal abuse to me is a sin itself! As a 100% disabled veteran, I have to rely on what I hear my friends tell me about thier jobs since I can't work. I do not believe verbal abuse produces good productivity! Stress and hurt feelings yes! I was verbally abusive to my family! I realized my own verbal abuse was getting ready to escalate to physical, therefore I went to the VA to get help! So as the Chief of Sinners, it was I who committed the sin by being verbally abusive, not my family and I will say I do not believe you did anything wrong by leaving your current work situation! You did what you had to do. Please understand and anyone else who reads this, I never physically hurt my family, being verbally abusive to them is just as bad. I was not ordered by a judge to enroll in Anger Management at the VA Clinic, I went becaue I knew I was getting out of control! And going to anger management was the best thing I did for myself and my family. I apologize for getting off course here, I don't beleive you have sinned at all, what I do believe is Christ is understanding and loves us and forgives us, as Christ said in the Gospel: "Pray for those who persecute you." or some words to that effect. Don't feel bad because you left a work situation that was abusive, unhealthy and possilbly going to get worse!

Dear Seraphim,

Thank you for your teaching!

Alex

Dear Alex,

Consciousness of sin is good, and healthy for all of us! Even the just man.... (so, they say).

But, meditating on God's mercy and generous forgiving is even more beneficial, and brings us to praise!

the unworthy,
Elias

Alex, IMHO I think you did right, because sometimes we think we are supposed to suffer for suffering's sake, but I don't think it is always the will of the Lord. The Lord was never anyone's doormat. He was incredibly bold with his critics, speaking to them the truth to their face. He submitted to suffering in obedience to the Father for a very clear purpose. To take abuse for no reason is useless IMHO. I have found that when the Lord puts you in a "suffering" situation, you can tell because there is no "escape" other than turning wholeheartedly to the Him for comfort and strength.

Dear Alex,

Of course you're not sinning!

In fact, since the person who abused you is sinning, you are doing them a favor by depriving them of an occasion of sin!

Also, let's say, just for the sake of argument, that somehow, worst case scenario, something you were doing or saying - or perhaps just the differences in your personalities - somehow caused this person to be mean to you. (Though how anyone could be mean to you, dear Alex, I can't imagine! )

Anyway, the point is, removing yourself from a sinful situation is NOT a sin - it's a heroic act! You have my permission to be proud of yourself!

Love,
Theist Gal

Dear Friends,

I am now formally out of my place of work.

I had a "heart to heart" talk yesterday with the boss.

He approved of my doing the "honorable" thing in resigning and he was quite willing to let me go.

But then he said he needed some projects completed before he would sign my papers (essentially giving me automatic status as a candidate for employment insurance benefits).

I agreed to do them next week.

Today, I visited our administrator who told me the boss essentially signed my papers but deprived me of a number of benefits and prevented me from getting others that were part of a general rule of 'courtesy.'

He only extended my work period for two more weeks, within which time I was to complete two major projects.

I was upset about this, felt used and abused and said I wasn't going to put up with any of this - since he has accepted my resignation (he'd rather not fire me because he has had a history of firing people - his office is nicknamed the 'revolving door').

If he doesn't want or need me 'completely' then I don't see how he can want or need me 'in part.'

I took a copy of the final papers (with his signature, so he cannot hold it over my head now) and delivered a copy to his desk with a note saying that was it after nine years of service, I wasn't putting up with this and I wouldn't be coming back for any further work and left the office key to boot.

If he ever contacts me, I'll let him know he's lucky I'm not suing him (which could be an option in future).

I also had enough of people everywhere in that building giving me their condolences and when they wanted to organize a going-away party, that was mysteriously cancelled at the last minute.

I believe that sometimes a Christian is entitled to leave an oppressive situation with a good solid "F Off" in his or her wake.

Forgive me, but that is how I really feel.

Alex

Don't let it fester Alex, I retired after 30 years of service to the City of Los Angeles and got zero...except a plaque which no one presented & had to pick up myself...

Just let it go...shake the dust(snow) of them shoes and give them a ...Yule won't be seeing me blessing.

james

Dear James,

Thank you for sharing that and may God bless you!

Alex

Hi Alex,

can you please send me your email, I tried to pm you but it's not working.

in Christ,

Khalid

Alex:

Remember the Lord's example. They slapped Him, they beat Him, they nailed Him to a cross. And He forgave them. Therein lies the strength of the Christian. Smile in the face of adversity and these many slights. They are your scourges in your own walk with Christ. If we want to be like Him, we've got to walk the same path He did.

Be mindful that the people who suddenly canceled your "going away" party have to go back the next day and put up with this person. Their own jobs may be shaky enough that to associate with someone who is now "persona non grata" could send them after you. My daughter just learned this lesson when she changed jobs. She resigned and took a better position. She couldn't understand why the people who had been her friends and confidants at work suddenly crossed the mall when they saw her coming and wouldn't speak to her on the phone or by email. Many employers take people leaving as a sign of disloyalty that they must stamp out at all costs. This attitude doesn't help boost morale, though, it just makes the employees who remain take on a "siege mentality" where they become distrustful of each other.

Been down that road. Once they get your signature on the document, they seem to be able to do whatever they want.

In the future, remember that you might be better off if they fire you. You might have a better legal position in that case. Being fired isn't the end of the world. We always think that it is because we take it as a judgment of ourselves as persons. BUT it just means that the situation is terminated, not our lives.

Life, as the Gospel puts it, is more than clothing, food, etc. Life is our relationship with Christ. The rest is the means of our testing of how committed to that relationship we are. Remember that the world can take away your house and your spouse and everything else that you value EXCEPT FOR TWO THINGS: your faith in Christ and your good name. These last two things YOU HAVE TO LET PEOPLE TAKE FROM YOU. Don't let them.

You mentioned other offers from other employers. You're better off than many in this age where being "downsized" in the mid-40s is becoming a common way of reducing pension liability for a company. There are lots of people I have heard about who have nowhere to go and nothing to offer another employer after many years at the same place.

Look at this as a golden opportunity to be stripped of pride and self-centeredness. Now, I don't mean that you need to put up with verbal abuse. But don't let this ending pull you down. Look up and move on.

In Christ,

BOB

Dear Friends,

By way of update, I received a call from the administrator at my former place of work who told me that "everyone supports you and have been speaking up to the powers that be."

That is just wonderful, I told her . . .

But I wanted to express my thanks to my Greek Orthodox friends especially.

Years back, when His All Holiness the Patriarch came to Toronto, the provincial government wasn't going to greet him as it did with the Pope.

A Greek Orthodox friend who worked in the government complained about this to me and I went straight through the red-tape and contacted the higher-ups - who then, fortunately, had a change of heart once they understood the situation and possible negative political ramifications.

I'm good with explaining negative political ramifications, you know . . .

Well, that SAME person gave my resume to a head of a social science department who called me today.

To make a long story short, I begin work as a college teacher next week . . .

I thank the Lord and the Most Holy Theotokos for this.

I thank all of you for your kindness in praying for me.

Alleluia!

Alex

Wonderful news Alex,

With prayers and very best wishes for your new job! I thank God all will be well.

the unworthy,
Elias

Dear Alex:

And we start referring to you as "Professor!" It has a nicer ring to it than a "college teacher."

Amado

Dear Amado,

To you, I'll always be just plain old "Alex!"

Mabuhay Aing Filipinas!!

Alex