www.byzcath.org Forums Faith & Christian Life Prayer sexual addiction

I realize that there have been no new posts here since before Christmas. I am new to the Forum and would like to begin with a prayer request. Please pray for me. I am battling a severe sexual addiction and an addiction to pornography. It's been a long struggle, and just when it seems like I've made some progress, I fall again. I do not want sympathy. I ask only that you remember me in your prayers. Thank you.

Nevsky1242, sinner

Dear, in Christ,

With prayerful support, as you continue your spiritual warfare! May God himself strengthen you, and may the all-pure and glorious Mother of God support you in your struggles.

Elias

Dear Nevsky,

Perhaps this prayer to the Virgin by St. Peter the Studite will help you in your struggles:

"O my most holy Queen and Mother of God: by your holy and all-powerful prayers, drive away from me, your humble servant, discouragement, forgetfulness, misunderstanding and carelessness. Drive away every sinful thought from my heart and mind. Help me quench the fire of evil passions. Preserve me from evil thoughts and deeds, for you are blessed by all nations, and your name is praised now and ever and forever. Amen."

You will be in my prayers.

In Christ,
Steven

Dear Nevsky,

Glory to Jesus Christ!

There is an answer to your prayers. It is a wonderful, twelve-step fellowship called "Sexaholics Anonymous." I had several friends who were struggling with severe addictions to pornography, and became involved with a chapter of this group in Steubenville. Almost every one of them has since acquired signficant (if not total) release from their sexual obsessions. I know that the priests at Steubenville encouraged all men with pornography addictions to join Sexaholics Anonymous... and they testified that it actually works.

You can visit their website at:
http://www.sa.org

And, praised be Jesus, they have a chapter in Bethlehem PA, where you live.

God bless,
Anthony

May the Lord God bless you in your struggles. You are in my meager prayers.

Glory to Jesus Christ!

I wish to thank you all, my brethren, for rememberance in your prayers. Please know you are in mine as well. May our Lord and God and Savior keep you in His abundant love!

Glory to Jesus Christ!
Glory forever!

Nevsky1242, sinner

May the Most Holy Mother of God extend her protective veil over your and protect from these temptations, nevsky1242. I like your name.

[This message has been edited by Doulos of Fatima (edited 01-09-2001).]

Dear Brother in Christ:

First of all, I wish to assure you that you are well on your way to healing, as you identified your situation and asked for help. You knew what to do!

For a situation like yours, I would suggest power prayer counseling like Episcopal Renewal Ministries. YOU DO NOT WANT ANY KIND OF SECULAR COUNSELING. You are fighting against powers and principalites not of this world. Vineyard Fellowship communities that believe in Power Christianity (there is an Antiochian Orthodox Church in Cupertino California that was Vineyard)are good with this. Remember, AA (and all subsequent 12 Step concepts) started as a repentence ministry in an Episcopal Church with two men getting down on their knees and praying Jesus Christ, if You are Who You say You are, heal me. There is no one left to turn to. All they did was rock Heaven at its very foundation, with their Heavenly Father and His Only Begotten Son weeping on Their throwns and saying to the Holy Spirit "Answer their prayer". Read books like Father Care which will assure of your Heavenly Father's love for you. Also see books by Anglican Bishop Pytches and his wife (inluenced by John Wimber and Vineyard). The Pytches are excellent (gifted from the Spirit)in dealing with this kind of problem.

Just remember one thing my Brother, in all the pain that you're walking in, Jesus walks there too! The Psalmist assures us that there is no dept that you can descend to where the Spirit of Your Heavenly Father isn't there. Read Psalm 36 (Your Steadfast Love...and find your peace in the shadow of His wings).

Three Cents

Christ is born!

As someone with Asperger syndrome (a lifelong brain difference that causes learning and social difficulties), which makes me vulnerable to the kinds of addiction like the one you describe, be assured of my prayers, Nevsky. We all are wounded by sin in different ways. To use a Roman Catholic expression, �offer up� your broken mind and heart with Christ�s broken Body in the Liturgy so He can heal you.

Three Cents� advice really �resonated� with me so I second it, only adding you have to be careful and discerning even when choosing Christian counseling. His point, you are battling powers and principalities not of this world, I agree with 100%. Sex, a gift from God, is a spiritual act with a psychic �kick� to it totally unlike other acts (which makes sense since one of its uses is to bring another person into the world � two people get into the bed and three or more get out!), even other addictions and compulsions. The devil and his attending spirits totally realize this and so use sexual sin as an entry/gate to possess people. (Ritualized sex has a place in Satanism � for a reason.)

It�s very important to realize that desire and lust are very different feelings, even though both are by their nature tied to sex. The first � the �flutter of the heart� and slight flush when meeting a beautiful woman, for example � is no sin at all; the second is sinful. As long as your sexual feelings are grounded in real love for another, you will be much, much less tempted to sin (you won�t even want to).

Also, I recommend some forms of fasting: both the traditional fasting from certain foods at certain times (the Orthodox rules work well for this; tailor them to fit your health and lifestyle, with the help of a doctor, nutritionist and/or priest if you need it) and �custody of the eyes� (even restrict your viewing of seemingly innocuous stuff until you are healed enough to handle it). Jesus said some demons can only be expelled through fasting. Traditional controls on food tell your body who�s in charge and can temporarily slow down your metabolism so you get an �in control� feeling you can strengthen over time.

God has given you the feelings of a man (I assume you are a he). Thank Him for this great gift and ask that guided by His love and grace you can enjoy and use these healthy desires only as He intends.

<a href="http://oldworldrus.com">Old World Rus�</a>

[This message has been edited by Rusnak (edited 01-10-2001).]

Glory to Jesus Christ!

Again, I wish to thank all of you, my brethren, for rememberance in your prayers and for all the helpful advice I have been given. A question I was asking myself was whether or not SA was Christ-centered. I have contacted them by e-mail for info on their meeting times in my area. I will now proceed with caution and prayerful discernment.
In reply to Rusnak's wondering, yes, I am a male. I only returned to the Church a few years ago, and in the worldly way of thinking, it seems like the problem has gotten worse since I came back, rather than better. However, this is only the great lie of the Devil, trying to make it all seem hopeless. It is not hopeless. All one has to do is attend and pray the Divine Liturgy each Sunday and Feastday with sincerity, to see that nothing is hopeless and that all things are possible with God.
It does seem like I have been abandoned, especially when temptation gets the best of me. It seems impossible to find God in those awful moments when you know that you are not in control of yourself. You respond to base instincts like an animal. He's always there, however, no matter what. Yet this is the hardest thing to remember sometimes.
Again, my brethren, my heartfelt thanks and my prayers go out to our Lord for all of you. May our Lord and God and Savior Jesus Christ keep you in His abundant love!

Glory to Jesus Christ!
Glory forever!

Nevsky1242, sinner

Glory to Jesus Christ!

Dear Nevsky,

I am pleased to hear that you emailed SA. Certainly proceed prayerfully. While I am not an expert on SA, my friends who experienced relief through it are very devout Catholics. They told me that it was founded by a Protestant Minister and a Catholic psychologist. While it defines God as your "higher power," nothing in it conflicts at all with Christianity. As a matter of fact, two of my friends who received help through SA were young Catholic priests. Both of them were severely addicted to pornography, masturbation, and voyerism - and both now haven't been compelled to masturbate in several years. It really worked for them, and they told me that they are better Christians because of it.

When I was an undergraduate, I did an independant study on twelve-step programs, and attended some open AA meetings for research. They told me that the reason they allow each individual to define their own "higher power" is because so many people have developed sick, hateful conceptions of God. They need to have the freedom to come to a healthier understanding of God in order to become well.

At any rate, one of my friends who joined SA was told to do so by Father Benedict Groeschel, the famous and holy Catholic therapist and spiritual writer. I can't think of a much higher recommendation for the group than that.

You remain in my prayers. Feel free to email me if you ever want to chat: dragani@catholic.org.

Anthony

[This message has been edited by Dragani (edited 01-10-2001).]

Nevsky my brother,

In all likelihood it HAS gotten worse since you returned to the Church. Satan doesn't have to fight for what he already owns. By your return to Christ, you are rejecting Satan's claim on you, and he's not one to give up without a struggle.

Rusnak and three cents have some excellent advice. I would add just a couple of things. First, know ABSOLUTELY that you are NEVER abandoned by God. You never will be. Ever. That said, the prayers and support of a wise spiritual father can be invaluable.

Meantime, despair and hopelessness are lies of Satan. We fall, we get up. (We throw ourselves on the mercy of God!) The Lord loves us no less. He is ALWAYS there, perhaps especially when we're too blinded to see Him.

Rusnak's point about custody of the eyes is VERY well taken. I think the RC term is "avoiding near occasions of sin." If your triggers are porn, or personals ads or whatever, avoid 'em. What our eyes don't see, our minds can't replay over & over again. There's so much GOOD stuff to look at, and what we see colors our thoughts & actions.

Fasting is good. It boosts prayer. Even if you can't fast, try to reduce distraction & indulgences. It focuses things. Pray. Not just "set" prayers at set times. Build that relationship with your Best Friend. It may also be especially helpful if your spiritual father can give you something short & to the point to pray when you are assaulted (Satan cannot abide obedience). One of the Desert Fathers said that when you're in trouble, and you can't pray anything else, it's perfectly fine to pray, "Lord, help!"

Remember that you aren't struggling alone. If you depend on your own strength, you can't win. If you depend on Jesus, you can't lose, no matter how bleak it may look now.

With love from the trenches,


Sharon


Sharon Mech, SFO
Cantor & SINNER
sharon@cmhc.com

Dear Dragani and Sharon,

Glory to Jesus Christ! Thank you for your prayers and helpful advice. You are very correct about the Devil not fighting for something he already has. Why would he? I can also understand the "higher power"concept. For the many years I was outside the Church, my own conception of God was a hateful, vengeful tyrant Who was ready to throw me into hell the minute I did something wrong. It was quite impossible for me to see him as our Loving Father. It has been a long road back, and there is still so far to go, but now I have more hope than I ever had. Keep praying for me. You are all remembered in mine. May the Lord our God bless and keep you!

Glory to Jesus Christ!
Glory forever!

Nevsky1242, sinner
nevsky1242@fast.net

My dear brother in Christ -

I remember an interesting image from Saint Nicodemus of the Holy Mountain that may be helpful. He wrote that sin - of whatever kind - dwells within us very much like a serpent in a jar. There are five portals in this jar through which we feed this serpent, and they are the doors of our senses. If the serpent continues to be fed, it may eventually overwhelm the jar. If we refuse to feed this evil by closing off the portals of our senses to things which are evil, the serpent will starve and eventually die.

I've shared this image with several friends and relatives who were struggling with various sinful addictions, and they said it was helpful.

Of course, it isn't enough to "starve" or abstain from evil. We are called to live for the good. We must first acknowledge the good that we may desire - but not obtain - by our sinful behavior. (Perhaps it is a good and wholesome desire to be known and loved intimately by someone else...to give of oneself fully to another person, body and soul.) By acknowledging the good that is at the heart of our desire, we can then better discover the true means to reach what is in our heart (marriage, friendships, etc.).

Additionally, I would recommend spending time in prayer before one or more holy icons. Pray and ask the Holy Spirit to purify your eyes and through your eyes, your heart. Our eyes are exposed to evil almost constantly, and icons are a great way to help maintain a supernatural outlook on life.

Meditations on the life of Christ using Scripture (or the Rosary) can also be ways to purify the imagination. Even getting out and exercising can be a better way to honor the body and the time that God gives us!


Just a few thoughts. I hope they might be helpful. And remember, holiness is to be found as much in the struggle for goodness as in its attainment!

Peace in Christ,

Gordo, sfo