www.byzcath.org Forums General Discussions Town Hall Finding a Mate?

Where do Eastern Catholics find their mates? Do they find their future spouses at their parishes? At religious or cultural activities?
Also, are their spouses usually of the same Eastern rite? Are their spouses of the same religion (Catholic)? How do Eastern Catholics in the U.S. and Canada find each other . . . to have some little Eastern Catholics? :-)

Genuinely curious.

Probably among Roman Catholic parishes. When I was in college (PSU) and helped withe the Byzantine Catholic Campus Ministry, we tried everything we could to get the "known" Byzantine Catholic female students to attend. But try as we did, the Byzantine Catholic Campus Ministry was 99% male. Why? Because the female students either didn't care as much to keep practicing their particular Eastern Catholic expression of faith or they had the "gang mentality" where they would attend the Roman Catholic Services on campus with their friends. If anyone is attending PSU now, has it gotten any better these days??

Ungcsertezs

A Church is supposed to be a living thing and, if a person makes his/her life a lived experience, then when they do find that "perfect match" - how possibly could that other person not want to embrace a Faith that is so much a part of their new partner's life?

My suggestion would be to focus on living the Faith in every part of one's life and not being compartmentalized - i.e. not having your Faith be something that you do on Sunday for one hour.

Then, you don't need to focus on meeting other Greek Catholics; you just need to focus on meeting someone with whom you can spend your life.

Ungcsertezs,
I go to a different college and our situation is completely the opposite! Try as we might, there aren't any males from the local colleges who attend our parish (but the Byzantine rite Catholics men do exist at the schools - they just don't come). And according to the parishioners who live in the area it has always been this way. Maybe you can send some of your guys up our way!

-Anna

Gosh, this sounds like a topic for the Discovery Channel, not Byzcath.Org.

Even though I am not a cradle Byzantine, here are some suggestions:

The Grocery Store Scenario

1. Before you go to the grocery store, ensure you coat yourself in some wonderful Byzantine style incense, such as Gloria No. 8, or one of the suggestions of incense from a previous thread. (This works for both male and female species).

2. Hang out in the Pirohy section of the frozen foods aisle, or near the fresh saurkraut, or kielbasa area ( and you can even try the Knorr section for the Potato latkas/kartoffel pfannen kuchen).

3. When a member of the opposite species approaches said hunting area, then make a few close passes. The scent of the incense should invoke a positive response in the hunted, leading to hopeful conversation, trading of family recipes, and a future gathering to further develop this fellowship and eat some wonderful food!

If you have followed this horrible advice, and been successful, please name your first born after St. Michael, since he was certainly helping you!

Mazel Tov!



Michael

If you want to find a mate, do it the old fashion way; B-I-N-G-O Night.

IF

Harmon,

seriously, I've been wondering the same thing. My parish is awesome, but all the ladies are either kids/teens or else about 40 years my senior. We get twenty-somethings in now and then, but I rarely, if ever, see them later (I'm almost ended my twentysomething tenure, but you get the picture).

No young adult mixers in the Archeparchy? I know there's stuff, but I never hear about it or maybe it's just they say there's stuff.

Too early to really worry about it now, but I'm afraid I'll have to have a "wedding" and not a "crowning" if I keep dating Latins!

Ain't that the truth!

Roadtrip!

yeah, anna, where are you anyway?

...ByzCath.Match.com!! Think of the valuable evangelization tool that would be!!

Ungcsertezs

domilsean:

Easy, Anna is HERE . . . and . . . THERE!

Happy hunting, guys and gals!

Amado

domilsean:

It�s my understanding of the canon law of the Catholic Church that the man�s sui juris Church is the one in which the marriage is to take place. If you marry a Latin woman and she says she wants the marriage in her church building, you can insist on having your priest perform the ceremony. And if your faith means that much to you, I�d insist on it.

Take courage. God will send you the right woman to share your life in His own good time. And I can say that with authority because it has happened in my own family. My son expressed many of the same complaints (and some others) that you have, though he had exposure to many young Latin women. His concern was that once he got to know them, they were of less moral character than those who were unchurched. He has since found a wonderful young woman who has no previous church relationship. But she does go to Liturgy with him every week, traveling about 25 minutes to his place and on to his parish another 20 minutes beyond.

Marriage is about mutual sanctification: it�s supposed to help us get to the Kingdom by giving us someone to walk with. I liken it to a three-legged walk. We pick each other up and help each other along. When I get down, my wife picks me up and vice versa. If you can�t find someone already on that wave-length, remember that God may send you someone who is open to walking that path with you. It�s up to you to communicate early on what is important to you and why. Given the fact that there seems to be a great spiritual hunger among people of your generation, it shouldn�t be that difficult to find either someone already on the same wave-length or someone who is open.

But keep praying. As I recommended to my son, pray. And when that seems not to be working, pray harder. And then kick on the Door of Heaven if you have to. The Lord is listening--trust me.

BOB

Hmmm.

Well, I'm not calling this a scientific survey, but let's look at the evidence. For the married people at a parish I'm sometimes around:

[BRC=Byzantine Rite Catholic; OTOEG = Of The Official Ethnic Group]

- one of the Presbyters - he's cradle BRC; wife is a former Latin

- Deacon 1 - he's cradle BRC and OTOEG; wife is also OTOEG so I assume she's also BRC

- Deacon 2 - both are former Latins who went BRC. Wife is very active in the Parish

- Deacon 3 - apparently, he's a Latin who went BRC and dragged his unwitting wife along

- Subdeacon - haven't the slightest clue.

Would-be Deacon - he's a Latin who went BRC and dragged his unwitting wife along

Couple 1 - Latin who went BRC and dragged his unwitting wife along

Couple 2 - Latin who went BRC and married cradle BRC

Couple 3- Latin who went BRC and dragged his cooperative wife along

Couple 4 - converts from Bible-thumping Ecclesial Community

Couple 5 - he's a convert from a Bible thumping Ecclesial Community; she's his somewhat witting and cooperative Orthodox wife [who seems no longer perturbed that she's with a bunch of filioquist heretics].

Couple 6 - he's been a Buddhist, atheist, Episcopalian, megachurch goer who's finally settled with us (really); she's his reasonably witting and cooperative born Orthodox, gone megachurch goer, gone BRC wife (apparently "conversion" for her was "do you reject megachurch-going sectarianism? Yes? Well then, come receive the Eucharist").

Couple 7 - met in the Old Country.

Couple 8 - Latins who went BRC

Couple 9 - Latins who went BRC


Well, you get the picture. Most are either OTOEG who maintain ethnic solidarity, or they're Latins or converts who met elsewhere. Threre are a small number of single, looking men and women (and a fair number of permanently single men and women). For the most part, they're not interested in each other romantically. One anxious single I know is indifferent to BRC and will spend usually half of his/her time in other parishes or in local Young Adult groups looking for The Right Spouse (TM).

As for me, I've found a gem of a young lady. Now if she was only cooperative............


Bottom line - I think those looking for girlfriends or boyfriends had either best look elsewhere or be willing to put up with the inadequacies of people you meet.

Michael-

If I changed "perogies" to "shawera" and "baklawa", would this work to attract young Melkites and Maronites of the opposite sex?