Ahhh, Pani Rose... I will always pray for your Nathaniel, if you will always pray for mine. He's 9 now, and he misses his daddy so much it breaks my heart. He truly is one in whom there is no guile, and he is so lost without Deacon Nicholas' love and wisdom.
May all Christ's blessings surround and fill Nathaniel, today and every day of his life.
-- Shas'mas Penthaetria
(oh I never spell that right :D)
I hear you

I had a chance to talk with my Nathaniel, and asked if he would please pray for your Nathaniel, he said YES! I think the prayers of the young are so effective. He has a real burden for young children. I think it comes from all his training and leadership in Boy Scouts. When the boys would not respond to adults - he hollered listen up - all their ears turned.
I know what you mean, it is that way with our Nathaniel too, no guile. AMAZING!
I will keep you and your boys in prayer as I have tried to do. I can't even begin to say I understand the transition you are facing. However, in
Invaded By God, Mysticism And The Indwelling Trinity by George A. Maloney, he writes of the relationship of a young child without his father, especially a boy. In this familial relationship that God has with the child, he speaks freely - as though he(the child) is aware that our Heavenly Father is his Father - always present to him, leading, guiding - but there is a greater awarness. The child may never speak of it, and he may never be able to verbalize it, but it is there. Somehow, in the absence of the natural father, our loving God, draws him closer, holding him.
I think we as mothers - and I am speaking as one who was in a terible car accident, where I ran over the child and she died - our emotions stay very wound up. It was when I moved out of the way and surrendered to God, this child and the happening, that he showed me what was happening.
Do you know, she opened the car three times on her grandparents - who were JW - and nearly fell out of the car each time, they just caught her? The Lord showed me that if not me, then it would have been them. I just understood, that I was surrounded by an awesome faith loving community with their faces looking towards our Almighty Father and that he loved these people far more than I could ever imagine he did. He loved them so much that he allowed it to happen to me and not them - it would have destroyed them.
Wisdom 4 speaks boldly to this...
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But the just man, though he die early, shall be at rest.
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For the age that is honorable comes not with the passing of time, nor can it be measured in terms of years.
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Rather, understanding is the hoary crown for men, and an unsullied life, the attainment of old age.
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2 He who pleased God was loved; he who lived among sinners was transported--
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Snatched away, lest wickedness pervert his mind or deceit beguile his soul;
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For the witchery of paltry things obscures what is right and the whirl of desire transforms the innocent mind.
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Having become perfect in a short while, he reached the fullness of a long career;
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for his soul was pleasing to the LORD, therefore he sped him out of the midst of wickedness. But the people saw and did not understand, nor did they take this into account.
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3
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Yes, the just man dead condemns the sinful who live, and youth swiftly completed condemns the many years of the wicked man grown old.
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For they see the death of the wise man and do not understand what the LORD intended for him, or why he made him secure.
http://www.usccb.org/nab/bible/wisdom/wisdom4.htmIt was not in our time that she was taken up. Andy was an awesome child of only 15 months old, beautiful, and loving. I so enjoyed watching her and helping her mom by babysitting. Though it ended up in our being sued, the court said because the mother was in the car she was responcible. See, I can't say why. I know they were hurting and I could do nothing for them, but pray.
I just know that our Lord gave me presious time with her, and then he took her home. I am not really certain of what I am telling you, except that you must lean on God's understanding and not your own. Don't fell guilty - God is in control - and HE WILL TAKE CARE OF YOU AND YOUR BOYS! I know he has us, through all the craziness of life, and he continues too. Our God is always there, just cry out and Lord I can't do anymore, you do it!