www.byzcath.org Forums Faith & Christian Life Prayer Wife wants to do IVF - Prayers please!!!

Hello,

After years of infertility problems, two operations, and sometimes painful treatments, my wife wants to do in vitro fertilization.

She's not practicing the faith, so it makes moral argument difficult.

This whole thing is really destroying our lives. I'm really scared about where this new conflict is going to take us. We really need all the prayers we can get.

Thank you in advance,
Booth

Dear Booth,

First of all, my prayers for the pain of your wife's infertility, and may our blessed Theotokos, and also St. Anna her mother, intercede for this intention of you having a baby.

I have heard from a devout Orthodox acquantance who was infertile that she consulted with her priest/SF and also another priest who was undergoing the same situation, and that there is a moral way of acquiring IVF treatments without creating unwanted embryos. I believe she said there were only three tries. The chance of it being successful are less, but as another priest I know said, that causes one to be more religious in that you then pray and put your faith and fate totally in God's hand and according to His will, rather than in science with the immoral consequences of creating unwanted lives which will remain in stasis or be destroyed.

This other priest (Orthodox) I know from Europe said he has one parishioner who had only one embryo created and prayed devoutly, putting it in God's hands.

I am absolutely no expert on this, but am only passing on some information I have heard so as to give you some possible guidance. Seek out someone who may know about this. Please keep in mind that these are Orthodox people I am talking about. I don't know what and/or if there are these options allowed in the Catholic faith, but I cannot see why not.

Again, be assured of my prayer to the Lord for this intention, and don't hesitate to pray fervently for this. I know of many miraculous babies through the prayers to various saints and the Blessed Mother...a few of them have made special pilgrimages to holy sites for this before having their prayers answered. Such religious and spiritual efforts may be an opportunity for you to gently and lovingly bring your wife's soul closer to God and the faith.

In Christ,
Alice

Paul, I will pray for you and your wife. I am so sorry for her infertility and I will pray that you hold a precious baby in your arms soon and that she achieves pregnancy through moral methods.

On a practical note, I urge to to contact the Pope Paul VI Institute. They use a medical model of NFP, the Creighton method for both preventing and achieving pregnancy. They have a good success rate and are trained to look for and treat the cause of infertility, not just to bypass the system with IVF.

Elizabeth

My prayers are with you. For years, we were unable to have a child, so we adopted a baby girl (she has just graduated High School as co-valedictorian, and has been awarded a full academic scholarship to Seton Hall University). Four years later, a son came along the natural way (he just graduated 8th Grade, and will go to the same High School as my daughter). It's as if God said "you want kids, I'll give you kids."
One warning about IVF. If you are Catholic, this is viewed as seriously sinful. It's not just the question of the death of embryos, but there is also the teaching that the marital act must not separate the conjugal from the unitive (lovemaking) aspect of husband-wife relations. Another point on IVF- I am good friends with Fr. Eric Bergman. He is an "Anglican Use" priest of the Roman Catholic Diocese of Scranton, and a former clergyman of the Episcopal Church (he and his wife have five kids, and one on the way). On the journey toward ordination in the Catholic Church, he had to undergo some additional studies. One course was in Bioethics, taught by Fr. Tadeusz Pohalczyk. In that course, Fr. Tadeusz mentioned that statistics indicate that a high percentage of children conceived utilizing IVF methods end up with tongue cancer. I asked Fr. Eric if anybody knew why, he indicated that it may have something to do with the process. There is a timing issue. If an embryo is fertilized, but the womb is not quite ready for implantation, they will put the embryo in frozen storage until the womb is ready. They extract the natural fluids from the embryo so it does not freeze to death, and they replace those fluids with anti-freeze! Try drinking a glass of anti-freeze, and see what it does to you!

In Christ,
Dn. Robert

Paul - I thought of Prov. 21:1 as I read your prayer request. It reads: "The king's heart is a stream of water in the hand of the LORD; he turns it wherever he will." I will pray for your wife that God the Holy Spirit will turn her heart to seek Him. I will pray for you also that God will give you peace. (Phil. 4:6,7)

Mr. and Mrs. Booth,
I would second that motion on the Paul VI Center. I know of their good work because of an interview that I arranged for the Dr. Katherine Albrecht Radio Program with Dr. Thomas Hilgers, its president and founder. The archive of the show can be found here. Dr. Katherine Albrecht interview with Dr. Hilgers [direct.media.katherinealbrecht.com] This is important for those concerned with life and Christian conscience issues. Please listen to the interview, explore this option and give them a call. Pope Paul VI Institute [popepaulvi.com]

God's love and warmth to you both!

Ray

BTW...You don't have to be Catholic to use their services.

I will pray for the grace of wisdom and patience for both you and your wife. It is a difficult situation and it will be easy to push apart with jaded words or a harsh tone in the conflict.

My parents have been blessed with being able to adopt twins. Too many people avoid local adoptions, but their need for a loving home is no less great than boys and girls from China or Russia. You may want to look into it.

It takes an investment of time, energy, and capital to adopt. You may find your patience tested for years to come.

Terry

I offer my prayers for a successful natural pregnancy. Good advice has been offered above.

I'm told that NFP (Natural Family Planning), besides being an moral alternative to contraceptives, increases chances for fertility. If you haven't tried it, please check into it.

The menu on the left of this site http://usccb.org/prolife/issues/nfp/ will give you locations for the classes.

Christ is among us!
Fr Deacon Paul

Prayers...

My the Lord bless the both of you and may this time of trail bring you wife back to faith and strengthen your marriage. May the Most Holy Theotokos-the protection of Christians mothers- strengthen you and your wife.

Thank you for all of your prayers ... we're having a discussion with my dad later today (he's a Latin deacon), and I'm terrified of how my wife will react.

Prayers.

Praying for you and your wife.
Prov. 3:5,6

Lord of the Powers be with us, for in times of distress we have no other help but You.
Lord of the Powers, have mercy on this whole situation.