www.byzcath.org Forums Faith & Christian Life Faith & Theology Nativity: How do you prepare?

Dear Friends,

Standard time is back. October is almost over. Before we know it, the Christmas Fast will be upon us. That special time when we prepare for the Nativity of Our Lord.

I am interested in hearing how you, your families, and your parishes prepare for the Nativity? Without a doubt, this is certainly a challenge given the fact that most of our society highlights the HOLIDAY, and not the HOLY DAY.

Dear Father Dmytro,

Your blessing!

Well, our priest is TRYING to get us all to get back to the fast. The tradition pretty much died in the Greek Orthodox church over the past forty years. I must admit that it poses a challenge.
He has, however, given us 'economia' for eating meat on Thanksgiving Day! (Being that it is the closest thing to a national religious holiday we have in the U.S.)

Our Church sponsors a 'wishing tree'. You pick an envelope and in it gives you the name of an underpriveledged child to buy a gift for. We put them under the decorated Christmas tree in the social hall, and the priest later distributes them to the charity.

On Christmas Eve, my family and I always go to Church. We used to go to parties and gatherings, even sponsored by other Greek Orthodox. No one,except a few, seemed to go to Church. However, giving credit to the many interfaith (RC/Orthodox) marriages we are blessed with, the steadfast tradition of attending RC 'Midnight Mass' got alot more people interested in going to services in the Orthodox Church.

So, over the past fifteen years, our Churches are getting more and more full on Christmas Eve. Families are trying to schedule their holiday get togethers and family traditions around services.
After Church, an eggnog and delicious pastry buffet for all, helps add a little festivity and socializing to a very holy evening. The singing of religious themed European Christmas Carols by our choir at the end of the service, also adds a feeling of holiday/holyday. The lights are turned down, and the beauty of these songs dedicated to our Lord's birth makes one feel quite emotional. These 'western' additions, (the eggnog and dessert, and the Christmas Carols) help everyone attending to not feel soooo out of loop of society's version of Christmas.

My personal tradition is at midnight, when we are all usually home and preparing for bed. True to my ecumenical soul, I love to watch Midnight Mass from our own (I am in the suburbs of NYC) St. Patrick's Cathedral on television. The homily is always positively enlightening and inspiring.

There is so much more, and as my children have grown, so much has also changed, but these are what came to mind for the Most Holy Nativity of our Lord.

In Christ,
Alice

P.S. Our Sunday School children also put on a nativity play.

Well, let's see. "Preparing" involves getting the special divine services ready, planning the Holy Supper, and arranging the Nativity play for the children. We don't get involved with Santa Claus.
Incognitus

I find it very hard to observe St. Philip's fast with the same rigour as Great Lent. In fact, I don't. There is something psychologically or spiritually in me that does not allow for that outside of that special time of Lent. More to the point, we lack the same liturgical supports for other fasting periods that we have so wonderfully in Great Lent (Liturgy of the Pre-Sanctified, etc.). So I usually try and simply abstain from fleshmeats for this fast, and then also dairy together with actual fasting, on the first day and then Christmas Eve. What do others do? Do most people try and observe the fast in full rigour or not?

I agree. The keeping of St. Phillip's fast is niether easy (all those office parties to attend), nor is it encouraged in our parishes.

Adam's point about the liturgy is extremely well-taken and I agree with it wholeheartedly.

That having been said, the preparation of the Holy Supper in the days leading up to it is indeed a spiritual experience (on many levels).

Yours,

hal

Recently I was in conversation with a lady in a coffee shop who spoke about " The 40 days of Preparation " . She said that it was what her church is doing this year and everyone is very excited about it. I do not know to what faith she belongs nor much about the program(?)only that each day they gather to discuss what reason do they think that God has made them.It is supposed to be based on a best selling book that is just flying off the shelves right now. Does anybody know what the title of the book is or any other information ?

For someone not raised in a Byzantine Church, can someone explain the tradition of the holy supper for me. Thanks.

Justin

Is this the 12 non-meat dishes meal ?

GLORY TO JESUS CHRIST!

Justin wrote:"...For someone not raised in a Byzantine Church, can someone explain the tradition of the holy supper for me. Thanks..."

Justin, the Holy Supper is special meal that marks the beginning of the Christmas Celebration. There are many symbols and customs that accompany this meal and they are as varied as the villages they come from.

In my family, we scatter straw under the table to remember the poverty of the Holy Family, that the manger was covered with straw. Everyone sits at the table and all must have shoes or slippers on, no one is to be barefooted. Only the poor go barefooted and we are rich because we are celebrating the birth of the Savior.

The youngest member of the household looks out the window for the First Star. When it is spotted the meal can begin.

We start with a toast of wine, then comes a meatless soup made from a rue of flour and water, mushrooms and sauerkraut juice. Next come the peas, they symbolize a plentyful year to come; bread smeared with honey and garlic, this being the staff of life with all that is happy and sorrowful in life. We also have stewed prunes with pitts, each person at the table must eat a pair so that everyone will be there the next year.

We then have pirohi, fish (usually sardines and tuna, we have the tuna because when my Baba was living, the sardines had too much salt in them for her diet, we've been using tuna ever since).

There are also fresh fruits, mixed nuts, candies, cookies and pastries.

Once the meal is started, no one leaves the table until the meal is completed. We also set an empty place at the table and crack the front door and leave a candle burning in the front window in case the Holy Family wanders by; they know by these signs that they will not be turned away from our home.

In some homes, there is a chain that is wrapped around the table legs so that the bounty that is found on the table at this meal will remain with the family during the coming New Year.

Anhelyna, the 12-dishes meal is what my Polish friends celebrate. You will also find many Italian and Sicilian families celebrating the 12-fishes meal on Christmas Eve where each family makes a meal and there are 12 dishes made from different kinds of fish.

Hope this helps....

mark

GLORY TO JESUS CHRIST!

Well, now that my answer to Justin is done, a little bit about how I prepare for the Holidays.

I try to do a modified Filipovka, I don't eat meat at lunch at the office, don't do snacks and try to cut down on the "quality-time" I spend with my computer.

Last year, we addressed Holiday cards for the troops in Iraq. I'm doing that again this year.

My parish celebrates St. Nicholas day and the kids bring things for St. Nicholas to give to those who are not as fortunate as they are.

We have also "adopted" an Roman Catholic parish and we help provide needy families with all that they need to celebrate the Holiday.

The Mens Club in my parish also sells poinsettias that we use to decorate the church during the Holiday season. Anyone who donates a poinsettia has the option to take the plant home after services or to leave it in the church; I always leave mine there.

Of course, on Christmas Eve, we do the Holy Supper and I usually attend services on Christmas Eve.

Don't know if I'm gonna do anything different this year or not. I am writing a couple of icons that I hope to give as Christmas presents. I also found the address so I can send Christmas cards to the troops in Iraq again.

Hope this helps....

mark

Yes, indeed the Holy Supper is the "12 dishes thing." Different culture do it differently, as already shown above.

For the Ukrainian version, one can look it up at www.brama.com. [brama.com.]

Yours,

hal

Yep. This is the one... Everyone has some variations of Svyatij Vechir (Holy Supper) and we are no different.

We also put straw under the tablecloth and the table. A sheaf of wheat (didukh) is tied with a bright rushnik (embroidered towel) and placed on the table by the father or senoir male present at the beginning of the dinner.

The order at our house of the dishes is, prosphora (blessed at the Vigil) first with honey, then kutya, then all of the other dishes (12 total, all meatless and dairy-free) fish, varenyky, kapusta, wine, toasts, etc.
We leave one place empty in remembrance of those departed before us, but also because an angel might show up disguised as a beggar...

We also bake three loaves of bread (kolach) and place them one on top the other, with a candle in the middle. This is a rich bread similar to paska. The candle is lit on the bread at the meal blessing and stays lit until the end of the dinner. Since this bread is made with eggs, usually quite a few eggs, we don't break it at the Holy Supper but later after the Great Compline/Vigil service.

We also have some other smaller traditions, like flinging the Kutya on the ceiling to see who will have good luck (drives my poor wife crazy ), walking around the house three times with the kutya singing the Christmas troparion, giving some extra feed, straw, and a bit of kutya to all the livestock after the dinner (boiled wheat with honey - they love it! And after all God rested with them at His birth), etc.

At our house the gifts to the kids are given on St. Nicholas Day, not Christmas Day. On Christmas the gift is Christ himself. We go to Divine Liturgy, afterwards go caroling, have parties with friends, etc. all in the spirit of the Winter Pascha which is unfolding before us.

SLAVA ISUSU CHRISTU!

Diak wrote:"...At our house the gifts to the kids are given on St. Nicholas Day, not Christmas Day..."

Diak, my Serbian friends used to do this with their kids and they follow the Old Calendar. One year, their daughter came home from school hysterical. It was just after New Years and the kids were all talking about what they got for Christmas. They were teasing her saying that she didn't get anything for Christmas because Santa Claus didn't love her because she celebrated Christmas on January 7th.

From then on, my friends gave their children their presents on Dec 25th.

HOWEVER, they always hold back one special gift. This is given on January 7th and it is from the Newborn Christ-child in thanks for keeping their traditions alive...

Just MHO...

mark

Dear Mark,

Well, she should have received her gifts on Dec. 19th - then she could have told her school mates that she gets gifts ahead of them because she follows the True Calendar!

And the ROCOR has established a feast of All American Saints, including St Herman of Alaska on December 25th so people can have a party and not feel left out.

In addition, she could tell her friends that receiving gifts on December 25 is a Protestant tradition introduced by Martin Luther - and that to undercut love for St Nicholas.

So it is they who are in danger of angering old St Nick!

Alex

I try to honestly get back to the Fast (which I am frankly bad about doing sometimes) and I try to make sure that I pay attention to a more structured (perhaps "focused" is a better word?) prayer life when I'm outside of church. I try to do more spiritual reading than usual, to supplement morning and evening prayers.

A few years ago, my husband and I decided that it was pretty silly to buy each other expensive junk. We're both successful professionals, but we just could never get into conspicious consumption. So we took the money that we would have spent on our own presents and used it to increase our Christmas gifts two monasteries, a shelter, and our parish.

Last year, to our happy surprise, pretty much all of our friends decided that we should stop buying each other expensive junk. So we give gifts to charities on behalf of each other in lieu of shopping for said expensive junk. We give each other the gift of company instead - we get together a couple times around the holidays and share stories and food instead of stuff we don't need. We only buy presents for the children in our little circle. This habit seems to be spreading to several members of the family now, too.

My Franciscan friends go shopping for homeless people who come to a shelter where we cook and serve every month. We wrap up presents for men, women, and children and a member gives them out at Christmas dinner.